Tuesday, December 15, 2009

news you can use #3: what NOT to give

friends, this edition of news you can use just might save a life, and over here at (flash) pasteurized i'm all about saving lives.  can't figure out what to get the babies and kids in your life for christmas/hannukah/kwanzaa?  well, here's some items NOT to give them.  giving these as gifts could end up in serious injury or death and a big fat lawsuit.  just wanted to protect you and all of yours this gift-giving season.

roman shades
thinking about giving that special someone some nice roman shades this year??  THINK AGAIN.  these blinds are skillfully created death traps!  think they're pretty and nice??  WRONG.  they are not pretty and they are certainly not nice.  50 million have been recalled. 

{these bad boys will put you in a chokehold if you get too close.}

 stork craft drop-side beds

the photo speaks for itself.  no need for commentary.

{this is serious.}

state farm insurance bear
why you would give them a state farm bear, i don't know.  i have state farm and they have NOT been a good neighbor to me like they say in their commercials.  sorry, i'm bias since the car accident.  anyways, it looks harmless, right?  WRONG.  it's eyeballs pop out for you and little children to choke on.  like i said: NOT a good neighbor.

{do not be distracted by the fact that it's furry and cute and not wearing pants.}

folding beach chair for stuffed animals

the rabbit in a bikini threw me off a bit, but it's apparently the folding chair that's the problem.  the chair leg can pinch, bruise, or cut fingers if caught while folding.  my response: you think?  and a pair of scissors can cut you if they get in the way.  move your fingers out of the way.

{ironic wearing the print of an animal that eats you, don't you think, little rabbit?}

tony hawk pajamas
if you thought pj's were safe, you were sadly mistaken.  not when these bad boys can quickly turn into a flame thrower thanks to highly flammable material.

{flame on!}

legal disclaimer: i'm not making this shit up.  for a complete list of these and other recalled items, go here.


Cathy said...

A bunny in a bikini? What could go wrong?

As far as the roman shades go....can I get rid of my vaccum? It has a power cord that my niece could trip over. How about my table cloth? She could pull it and the flaming candle right off the table-BAM-housefire.

You know what, I'm going to buy a bunch of common sense and start handing it out. WTF people?!

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

Well damn. I totally had the State Farm bear in my shopping cart, too.

Erin said...

Hi Meredith!

Thanks so much for stopping by my blog today--I'm here to return the favor. I'm your newest follower now!


Teddy bear? Who knew?!?!

The Only Girl said...

And what about stoves? They can really burn you. I also hear cars can be deadly.

Bitch, Bitch, Bitch (Amanda Mac) said...

So, I just read 2 pages worth of your blogs and must admit I am in love.

You are a great writer and a sarcastic one at that, which I can appreciate.

ScoMan said...

Looks like I'm off to return the roman blinds I got for my brother and the Tony Hawk PJs I got for mum.