news you can use #2: barb's ten most fascinating

y'all (i am from texas, deal with it) are in for a special treat today.  not one, but two editions of news you can use in one week!  this edition comes from our very own barbara walters, along with some commentary from yours truly.  seriously, how can you not love barb??  the women's got to be at least 100 years old and she's still in the know about damn near everything.  just in case you missed her "ten most fascinating people of 2009" special, i bring you this recap.

10. lady gaga - who doesn't love the ga??  when asked if she was bi-sexual, she just smiled and said she liked both women and men, but had never been in love with a woman.  she wants to be an inspiration to teens who feel lost and like a freak, because that's how she felt when she was their age and she wants to express herself through art.  i think she's got all of our attention.

(she's giving you her p-p-p-p-poker faaaaace, poker faaaaace.)

9. jenny sanford - don't know who she is?  it's okay, most people don't.  she's south carolina's first lady, wife of governor mark sanford.  (*but not for long...)  the story here: governor husband goes missing for awhile, no one knows where the hell he is.  it's a big deal.  come to find out he was in argentina (yes, the country in south america) visiting his longtime lover and soulmate.  this first lady is one tough cookie and doesn't want to be seen as a victim.  she was very poised and super classy.  mad props.

("look, everyone!  i found him!")

* you should know that i am now a reputable news source because just this morning, jenny sanford announced that she is filing for divorce from her husband.  you can read about it here.   like i said, i'm a treasure trove of information.

8. tyler perry - he proudest accomplishment is that his mama lives in a pretty house with a maid.  i love men who are good to their mamas!

(medea - the character that made him famous.)

7. kate gosselin - according to barbara, if you don't know who kate gosselin is, welcome to america.  team kate over here.  she is the definition of type-a, control freak.  love it!

("i invented this haircut.")

6. glenn beck - sees himself as a libertarian (libertarians are for smaller government, lower taxes, and more freedom).  he has a radio show and a show on fox news.  kind of crazy, but speaks his mind.

(he screams and yells on his show.)

5. adam lambert - american idol runner up.  the other dude won.  he kissed a guy on stage and people freaked out.  i don't care what he did, i personally can do without his music.  i don't like his shrills.

(he likes sparkle and glitter, so we maybe could share clothes.)

4. brett favre - loved him on the packers.  he tried to retire three times.  how many times can you make a comeback??

("i'm retiring for the second time... i may or may not be back...  i may or may not play for the packers greatest rival...")

3. sarah palin - some love her, some hate her, but you can't say she hasn't made a name for herself.  i don't necessarily want her as our president anytime soon, but i still like her.  without her, tina fey wouldn't have a job at SNL.

2. the jackson kids - adorable kids, but they aren't michael's.  no one's fooled.

(please notice the action hero.)

and the #1 most fascinating person of 2009...

1. michelle obama - barb loved her arms.  we all know that behind every successful man, there's a successful woman.  we all know she's in charge around here...

("i have great arms.")