my (fur) daughter has anger management issues. she may or may not get them from her mother.

with all the focus being on my mom, poor bailey's been neglected.  last night, quasi and i took her out to dinner with us on the patio of a restaurant.  because she was (surprisingly) so well-behaved, we decided to take her shopping to one of her favorite stores in the world - petsmart.  we let her peruse the stuffed animal and chew toy aisle, and she sank her little sharp teeth into her new favorite toy... meet mr. monkey:

 

please excuse her leash.  she has this thing with keeping it on.  i guess she likes to be prepared to leave at a moments notice.  anyways, here she is being all (unsuspectingly) sweet and nice with her new mr. monkey.  she was loving on him, cuddling with him, licking him, and even giving him sweet little kisses.  please notice her paw on mr. monkey's chest.  he is her man, and she doesn't like to share.

fast forward to 10 minutes later.  mr. monkey is now missing his nose.  bailey has apparently determined that  mr. monkey no longer has a need to use his olfactory senses.  i think she thinks she was doing him a favor.  plus, i'm sure she smells good enough for the two of them.

uh, oh.  not only does mr. monkey not need to smell, he apparently doesn't need his left arm either.  many of you may remember me discussing bailey's issues with men here - poor mr. mouse met such an early demise. seems like it was only fair for mr. monkey to follow suit.  i'm beginning to think that bailey is part black widow spider - female black widows kill their males after mating with them.  or maybe my baby girl just has an affinity for men full of stuffing.

update on my mom: thank you so very much for all of your words of comfort, thoughts, and prayers.  you all have been such a comfort to me.  my mom is doing slightly better than she was yesterday, which is a huge plus in my book.  her asthma and allergist doctors *think* she was reacting to the steroid treatments they had her on, so she's switching.  she's at home, but must be taken to see her asthma and allergist once a day and call in every couple of hours.  they also gave her two new medications: one for the angioedema (swelling) in her tongue and throat and one for her constant itching and hives.  i think she's taking 12 different meds at this point - all with the primary function to keep her breathing and keep her airways open!  they've got to constantly monitor her to make sure she doesn't have any further adverse reactions to all the medications.  we're taking things day by day right now, so please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

i hope to be back later with a new edition of take me back tuesday (TMBT)!!

you get to see me walking and talking: my first vlog ever!! (vlog = video log, p.s.)

thanks to THE stephanie (almost like THE ga) from live.laugh.love. and bathwater from memento mori, i have finally figured out how to upload a video! i had the "updated blogger editor" and you have to have the "old blogger editor." seems oxymoronic to me, but whatever. point is i have finally uploaded my own personal video for your viewing pleasure. here's the deal with this first vlog. i had just gotten home from work and had nothing to talk about since no one gave me topics or asked me any questions. plus, it was my first and you're always really nervous with your first. so sorry in advance if it's kind of boring, it's kind of just me talking. bailey makes her supporting actress debut, too. please don't judge. unless you do it nicely. i promise the content will be much better next time.

take me back tuesday: why my dog hates me OR why i will make a good mother to a human baby one day (depends on how you look at it)

i stop by my mom's house (aka - bailey's mimi and doggy daycare sitter) and walk into this:

batwoman with (chip) clips in her hair

suffice it to say, she was pretty pissed off and she's still not talking to me, as a matter of fact.  sorry the picture quality sucks; as much as i love my iphone, its photographic capabilities leave something to be wanted.  also, i will probably be missing in action around the blogosphere.  my work is kicking my ass - well, actually not my work, more like the people/things/policies i'm lobbying against are kicking my ass.  but once the dust has settled and i stop running around like my hair is on fire, i'll be back my lovers.

and p.s. if you haven't gone and checked out this post, i suggest you do it now.  it'll be worth your while, and it really should be classified as a take me back tuesday.  it is seriously A-MAZING.

why i'm so glad i woke up alive this morning and didn't die in my sleep.

i know the post title sounds serious and that's because it kind of is.  not really.  so last night, i'm sitting at my kitchen table attempting to put a second permanent invisishield cover on my iphone.  (the night before quasi had put the first invisishield screen on UPSIDE-FREAKING-DOWN leaving my phone a sticky mess.  long story.  i thought my life was over yesterday and my phone was going to be ruined forever.)  oh, and i was baking more of those easter bunny sugar cookies.  i started with ten boxes and i'm down to two.  don't judge.   for those of you who are familiar with those invisishield things, you have to be really precise about it.  plus, they're $30 and this was the second one since the first got all effed up, so i was a little bitter about spending $60 for a damn protective shield.  well, technically i didn't buy them, but it was still money that could have been spent on other things.

anyways, so like i said i'm sitting at my kitchen table trying to have the concentration of a surgeon conducting a dangerous, evasive brain surgery.  one wrong move, and the person iphone is dead.  while i'm totally absorbed with the task at hand, my little nugget has dragged out her toy basket and is throwing her toys all around the apartment.

she's kicking bones with her paws, watches them slide across the wood floor, then chases after them sliding into walls and making a shitload of noise.  i'm trying to get her to stop and be still for a little bit because she's totally ruining my focus style.  naturally, she doesn't listen because she doesn't care.  she's like a teenager, but at least i can lock her in her crate.  last i checked with CPS, you're not allowed to do that with kids.  supposedly.  we'll see.  

so i put the screen on the phone, finally, and admire my hard work.  i then turn to see my little nugget head laying sideways on the floor trying to stretch out and reach a rawhide that has slid under the couch.  (this is a nightly thing.  drives me insane.)  so she's making this awful scraping noise with her claws on the metal bar under the couch.  it's like nails on a chalkboard but worse.  finally, i finish my iphone surgery and get up to get the bone so she'll stop.  

when i bend down to get it, she jumps on my back and bites my ponytail.  (she's obsessed with ears, ponytails, and buns.  it's really weird.)  i jolt up very quickly and as i do i knock the back of my head on my coffee table and fall back to the ground.  i try to stand up, but when i do i fall back down and i'm seeing all these black spots.  

i touch the back of my head and see a tiny bit of red.  no, i'm not bleeding profusely or anything, but enough to say, shit, i'm bleeding, i coud be dying.  what if this is brain fluid?  omg, i don't even have a will.

my head is pounding and i fear my brain is hemorrhaging.  i lay on the couch for a few minutes thinking, i can't even call 911 because that damn invisishield on my phone is still drying!  maybe if i scream loud enough my neighbors will hear me.  but what if screaming makes my brain bleed more?  these are the thoughts going through my wounded and bruised brain.  eventually i get up still feeling wobbly and text my mom.  very carefully, of course because my phone is still drying.

me: mom, i think i'm dying.

mom: no, you're not.

me: yes.  i have a concussion.

mom: how?

me: bailey's bone went under the couch, when i went to get it, i slammed the back of my head into the corner of my coffee table.  i saw stars.  and not the famous kind.  and blood, too.

mom: you probably do have a concussion.  have you thrown up?

me: no, but i have cookies baking in the oven.  shit!  i have cookies in the oven!  they might be burning while my head is bleeding!

mom: go eat your cookies and call me if you throw up.

me: but what if i'm so incapacitated i can't call?  and why are you always telling me to eat cookies.  you are such an enabler.  you want me to be fat.

mom: bailey will call.  and you could never be fat.

me: oh, no!  i can't go to sleep tonight!  what if i have an aneurism in my sleep and i wake up dead!

mom: you can't "wake up dead."

me: you know what i mean.  what if i don't wake up?!  i'll be like liam neeson's wife who hit her head in the terrible ski accident and then went into a coma and never came out of it!  what if that happens?!

mom: then i'll be sad.

thank you, mother for your undying love and support.  fortunately i did wake up alive this morning.

in which i am a bad puppy mother and almost committed murder

i should probably be writing about the oscars last night, but i'm not going to.  why?  because i've got a much more pressing issue to discuss with you today: this weekend i almost committed murder.  with a spatula, to be exact.  now that i've got your attention, let me tell you how it all went down...

late morning on saturday, i got up, fed bailey, and put her bed and all of her toys next to her bowl so she could play after she's finished eating.  (for those of you who don't know, bailey is my  eight month old little fur nugget head.  there's a picture of her and her bat ears on my sidebar on the right.)  after making her breakfast (beneful healthy puppy growth, no doubt) i went and took a much needed bubble bath.  i got out, put on my robe, and got bailey to take her out to go potty. 

because most, if not all, of you have no clue where i live, i'll describe it: a condominium/townhouse complex surrounded by lots of trees and nature (i.e. birds, squirrels, possums, raccoons, etc.) but not a lot of grass patches, just lots of leaves.  it's kind of irritating.  anyways, i have bailey on her leash, i'm in a robe, moccasins, and have a towel on my head and look like an indian sheik woman.  in order to do her serious biznass, bailey always has to go really far back into the trees and it drives me crazy because her leash only goes so far and i can only hike so far through the bramble.  and i can't let go of her leash or she runs like a convict escaping out of prison.  you're beginning to see my grave dilemma.

so there i was in my robe, moccasins, a classy towel on my head, and she's creeping through the forest-like terrain like she's freakin' rambo and goes by a tree and does her nasty stuff.  her leash gets caught on something, so i go to untangle it.  she moves in the other direction and drags the leash and MY EFFING HAND through the poop.  i throw up in my mouth, scream, and let go of the leash.  the little convict starts running like she freaking stole something looking back at me with sheer mischief in her eyes.  i'm pissed and have shit on my hand.  i scream at her to come.  she doesn't because she doesn't listen ever.  so i scream that i'm going to give her a big spanking when i get my hands on her (because clearly she understands me).

i run to my condo and furiously scrub my hands with bleach, then i run back outside to find the escapee. i spot batwoman in amongst the trees with a dead, decomposing squirrel hanging from her mouth.  i flip shit and start screaming at her.  and i mean i am SC.REAM.ING.  for reals.  like vein in my temples bulging, about to have a heart attack screaming.  

 {you see the resemblance?}

i know the absolute worst thing to do is chase her because she loves to be chased and thinks we're playing a game of tag.  plus she has some italian greyhound or whippet in her so she's shitballs fast.  BUT i cannot not chase her or else she'll stop long enough to chew on the dead, rotting, nasty ass squirrel.  so i do want any normal, sane puppy mother in a robe would do: i scream and i yell and i chase her all through the bushes and trees and sticks and unmanicured nature.  my legs still have the cuts and scratches to show for my efforts.  i look like a crazy woman.  i tried enticing her with treats, her favorite mr. mouse toy, mommy's favorite socks which also happen to be bailey's favorite... this whole scene goes on for nearly 40 minutes.  finally i tell her, i give up and she can eat the squirrel and contract HIV or STDs or rabies or tapeworm or whatever the hell it is you get from eating raw, decomposing rodent meat.  and i tell her when i get my hands on her i'm either going to kill her or give her away because she's being a bad little nugget head.  i leave my front door open.  a few minutes later batwoman - WITH THE DEAD EFFING SQUIRREL STILL HANGING FROM HER MOUTH - comes flying inside.  OMG.  the stench was overwhelming.  i'll spare you the details.

let's just say after many spankings with a spatula later and using a whole container of lysol disinfectant wipes and two cans of febreeze air effects spray, i can finally talk about this event, though i still don't find it funny.  at all.

p.s. bailey is still alive.  i haven't killed her or given her away.

like mother, like daughter: THE ga edition (aka - why i know for sure that my little nugget and i were meant to be)

so while i've was out of town for a business trip, bailey stayed with her mimi (aka - my mom, aka - free doggy daycare).  since i don't have kids of my own, my little nugget head is my baby; and like any good momma, i worry about her and check on her throughout the day.  here's the scene that went down yesterday morning:

me: hey mom, how's my little koo bear doing?  is she crying for her mommy to come home??

mimi: no, she loves it at her mimi's.  she's watching tiger woods apologize on tv right now.
mimi: but after about 2 minutes, she yawned and decided he bores her.  she isn't buying it.
mimi: she much prefers watching lady gaga.

mr. mouse #2 meets an untimely death

i'm seriously considering getting bailey help for her relationship issues.  you remember what she did to her first mr. mouse, right??  no?  no, you don't remember??  well, i've gotten a few new stalkers since then and i know some of y'all are lazy and won't go and read the previous post, so i'll just show you mr. mouse #1.  you're welcome:

{bailey went all mike tyson on mr. mouse #1 and ripped off his ear.}

if you thought what she did to her first man was bad, check out what she did to mr. mouse #2:

{he must have really done something to piss her off...}

{i don't know how many times i've got to say, you better not mess with the women in this house!}

news you can use #6: a new hottie politician, a disney star messing with my movie, hong kong, dangerous hot sauce, vamps, pee, and my little nugget

wow.  yesterday's post and the comments that ensued were quite the doozy.  i want to say a HUGE HUGE thank you to all of you who came to cheer me on against that hateful commenter.  i know many of us have had the distinct pleasure of receiving some pretty shitty comments from ugly haters, so i wanted to make sure you all know how much your comments really mean to me.  (if you're just tuning in and don't know what the eff i'm talking about, read yesterday's post, paying particular attention to the comments...)  **UPDATE: hateful commenter has graced us with her presence yet again today on this post and has made a couple super nice comments.  i appreciate the time you're spending on me, my blog, and my AWESOME followers today.**

okay, enough of that.  on to the gooooood stuff.  you all know what today is.  it's time for a new edition of news you can use!  i know, i know you're all super excited, but seriously keep your panties on.  i don't want to be seeing any of your pikachus or peiners.

scott brown wins massachusetts open senate seat.  scott brown (aka - political hottie mchotterson) has won the open senate seat in the state of massachusetts.  (one of the members of the trifecta happens to live in this great state.)  for those of you who refuse to follow politics or read a newspaper, this senate race was to fill ted kennedy's seat.  this is a big deal because it's the first republican senator elected in that state in thirty years.  pres. obama's state of the union address next week is gonna be interesting.  part of me is wondering if he's going to come out and be all like: americans, i hate to break it to you, but this is efffffed up!  (he backed scott brown's opponent, democrat martha coakley.)

{not a bad lookin' politician, if i do say so myself.}

zac efron looking to play a role in the hangover 2.  whaaaaaaat??  noooo!!  say it ain't so, hangover casting crew.  the last thing i need is for disney's high school musical 1, 2, and 3's star to show up in one of my absolute faves.  really, zac, stay away from my hangover.

{zac's on the far right.  i know this because i have an 11 year old sister obsessed with disney.}

{hmmmm, zac looks like he's grown up a little since his high school musical days...}

hong kong fashion week.  here are some particularly interesting pieces i thought you would enjoy.  please wear them this weekend and let me know how is goes.

{christian lou-what???  move over, louby, these goodies by guo pei will be the latest rage.  seriously, though, can you imagine walking in these bad boys??  good luck with that.  i'd for sure snap an ankle.  MODG, maybe you can get kim k. to send you these??}

{apparently hong kong heard all the americans bitching about how cold this last winter has been and ningbo greenland costume industrial co., ltd. has responded.  kind of reminds me of all the marshmallows i eat.  i presume - if i could see my insides - they would look something like this.}

 {i would totes wear this.  i like my "personal space," you see, and this seems to be the appropriate amount.  thanks, guo pei.}

{lee wai ling, can i have this whole get-up sans the ruffles?  thanks.}

{this bitch means business.  maybe it's just me, but this handgun isn't exactly "concealed.  baldwin pui, you're not really fooling anyone.}

{i can't help but think of some really nasty things when i look at this creation by fan chun pang... or maybe it just looks like elmer's glue?}

eight teens end up in hospital after drinking hot sauce.  you may have seen this article here, but check this out: "officials in germany say eight teenagers were hospitalized after a test of courage in which they drank chili sauce more than 200 times hotter than typical tabasco sauce. (wtf were they thinking??)  the red cross in the southern city of augsburg says that 10 boys, aged 13 and 14, drank the sauce wednesday morning, apparently in school. [...]  the red cross said that on the scoville scale, which measures the hotness of sauce, the sauce measured 535,000 — compared to 2,500 for normal tabasco sauce."  if you're thinking, wtf??!? you're not alone, that was my first thought, too.

i will be cheating on edward cullen tonight at 7:00 p.m. CST.  blasphemous, i know.  please withhold your judgments.  i can't help it, though.  vampire diaries starts back up tonight, and (i'm ashamed to say) after watching a marathon of it about a month ago, i'm kind of interested to see what happens.

i make surferwife want to pee her pants.   monique is a member of the very coveted trifecta, so this award means more to me than anyone can ever know.  she has a snarky ass mouth, and is funny as all get up so if i make her want to pee her pants, you know i'm just that good.

my little nugget will be going obedience school.  her selective hearing is worse than her mommy's and SHE.REFUSES.TO.LISTEN.TO.ME.

what women want

for christmas, bailey obviously received a lot of chew toys, stuffed animals, and doggie treats.  and while she loved them all, there was one little thing we could not pull her away from - mr. mouse.  she LOVES mr. mouse.  she loved mr. mouse a little too much and ended up chewing off one of his rope ear and then proceeded to chew a hole even deeper exposing mr. mouse's stuffing.

i continued to sew up the hole and told her that friends don't chew up other friend's ears.  i told her she needed to stop or mr. mouse would no longer want to play with her.  needless to say, she didn't stop.  naturally, she is like her mommy - we both have very selective listening.  so i ended up taking mr. mouse away from her and putting him in the entryway closet.  it was a big ordeal for her.  i told her when she was ready to be nice and mommy felt like sewing his ear up for the third time, mr. mouse would come out to play again.

okay, now fast forward to this morning.  bailey and i have a little routine in the morning.  we wake up, i take her out to go potty, and then we go back inside and i feed her.  she is still a puppy and i can't exactly leave her unattended free to roam without finding my coffee table, a bra, or my favorite $20/pair thorlo running socks chewed up, so while i'm in my bathroom and bedroom getting ready for work, i attach her leash to one of the kitchen chairs.  now please, people, don't go all PETA on my ass and tell me i'm being "cruel" or "unusual."  the leash is six feet long and she has plenty of room to walk around freely, play with her toys, and chew her rawhides in her doggy bed.  it is neither cruel, nor unusual - it is clever and smart on my part.  i could put her back in her kennel while i'm getting ready, but i don't.  see, i'm nice.

anyways, so this morning was like every other morning.  she is getting bigger and stronger so she can now drag the kitchen chair around and pretty much go wherever she would like.  so, i'm brushing my teeth when i hear the kitchen floor scraping across the floor.  i ignore it.  it gets quiet.  too quiet.  i go out into the living room to find my little nugget had pulled the chair all the way over the the entryway closet, climbed up to the third shelf, and successfully retrieved mr. mouse.

i was so impressed i didn't even get mad.  a woman wants what a woman wants.  she wanted mr. mouse, so she went after him. 

oh, and by the way, this is bailey's mr. mouse...

insider talk

** UPDATE **

(you know i never use caps, so this must be important shit)

over $500 later.... my little gremlin and i just got home a little while ago from the vet!  woo hoo!  she is alive and well, just a little groggy but still super excited to be back home.  now the hard part is going to be "not letting her run or jump for 7-10 days."  she's an effing dog, that's what they do.  we'll see how it goes. 

---

i was seriously useless yesterday.  i didn't changed out of the nike be bold running pants that i slept in or my fancy thorlo running socks that i haven't even run in yet.  i don't know if you guys know this, but there.is.nothing.on.tv.during.the.day.  seriously, nothing except law & order re-runs.  i have to be honest, i never really watched or even liked law & order, but with there being literally nothing good on tv, and my little fur baby gone at the vet getting her little reproductive organs worked on, i was sad and lonely so i laid around, moped, worried, felt sorry for myself, read your blogs, and watched tv all day yesterday.  i called the vet clinic every two hours to check on her. obsessive? yes. don't judge. anyways, back to laying around and watching law & order: special victims unit, or "l & o: svu" as the insiders like to call it, and after watching it for eight hours straight, i'm pretty sure i can be classified as an insider.

{check out my crew.  i feel like i know them after yesterday.}

as a result of staring at an LCD screen for eight hours, not only do my eyeballs ache, but i may or may not have a daytime crush on christopher meloni (or as the insiders of l & o: svu call him "detective elliott stabler"). and like any new obsession, i googled him and found a wealth of information from my really smart, all-knowing internet best friend, wikipedia (i call him "wiki" for short). i was given tons of useful information. like the fact that he's older than my freaking mother. only by three years, but still. that his ancestry is irish, french canadian, and italian; he's the youngest of three children; and he graduated from the university of colorado at boulder with a degree in history. oh, and he has baby blue eyes which i'm such a sucker for.  see what you can do with your time off??

{america's favorite dectective.}

{and here's a sexy time pic for all you freaks out there.}

my little gremlin's big day

today is the big day for my bailey boo.  today is the day where she will never have to take a birth control pill ever again.  mayra calls it the "permanent birth control" which i guess is a good way of looking at it.  i woke my little gremlin up early this morning and she was so excited to see me.  i put her cute little leash on her cute little collar, and she started furiously wagging her cute little tail because she thought she had hit the jackpot and we were going for a walk.  i felt so terrible putting her in the car and going to the vet.

when we got there, there were two big dogs sniffing and growling at her, and she just looked up at me and cried and had an accident on the floor - something she hasn't done in weeks, so i knew she was terrified.  i was pissed.  i wanted to kick those big, mean dogs and tell them to leave my baby the eff alone, but instead i just picked her up and mean mugged the big, mean dogs just because they had pissed this momma off.


we were finally taken to the back where the vet weighed and examined her.  bailey weighs 17 pounds and vet says she looks great and healthy.  she's going to have the surgery, get up-to-date on her shots, get her nails clipped (finally, she was like a little velocaraptor with those nails), microchipped (so when she thinks it's okay to run away i can find her ass), get some heartworm treatment, and a few other money sucking preventative procedures and tests because i'm a sucker and the vet convinced me these were "highly" recommended.  i'm such a sucker, and the vet knew it.  way to capitalize on my fears and me being a new mommy.  i was nearly in tears when i gave her a kiss goodbye and handed her over.  i can't wait to pick her up tomorrow.  they said i can come anytime after 10:00 a.m. so i'm pretty sure i'll be there at 10:01 a.m.!

back to reality (kind of)

christmas came and went like one night stand, and now it's back to reality for most of us.  i'm not quite back in reality yet, though because I.HAVE.THIS.WHOLE.WEEK.OFF!! :) i know, it's okay to be a little jealous.  but don't worry, next monday morning's going to be a rude awakening for me and i'm already dreading it... anyways, enough of that.  i hope everyone had the merriest of christmases and enjoyed their time with friends and family.  i definitely did, and i'm extending my little vacay through this week and getting stuff done that i never have time to do while i'm working and taking care of my fur baby - i.e. lots of kickass classes at the gym with some of houston's hottest housewives (i keep thinking, if i could just be a housewife for the rest of my life, i would have the best damn body!), shopping and errands (even though my bank account hates me right now), meeting up with old friends, lots of walks and play time with bailey boo, laying around watching terrible tv, reading some new books i got for christmas, getting my nails and hair did, etc.  you get the idea.  it's going to be a great week, i can tell.

my little gremlin, bailey, on the other hand, isn't so stoked about this week.  she thinks it's so great that her mommy's home and playing with her all day, but little does she know, she's having surgery tomorrow morning.  you know "down there" kind of surgery - the kind of surgery that will prevent her from having other little gremlin babies.  i have to be honest with you guys, i know dogs are neutered/spayed everyday and vets know what they're doing, but i am kind of freaking out.  not only are they cutting her open and she's going to get stitches on her cute little tummy, but she has to stay over night all alone in a strange place!!!  :(  i'm really having anxiety about the whole thing and kind of nervous and worried.  i know she's going to be fine, but it still worries me.  i'm going to have to be a brave mommy tomorrow.  i can't imgaine what a wreck i'll be when i have kids!! 

i'll let you know how it goes tomorrow, and in the meantime i'll leave you with this little photo of my little brother, my little gremlin, and me with a cute boston terrier ornament from christmas morning:

{we're still working on how to take pictures with her.  she doesn't quite get it yet.}

i'll keep you my furry little secret

by now, you all know my furry little nugget, bailey.  i've had her since the day after thanksgiving, so it's been about two and a half weeks so far.  my little sister had really been wanting a dog for a long time, and since i knew my dad really didn't want to get her a dog, i figured we could "share" bailey.  our family had to give our last dog to my ex ex boyfriend because she kept eating frogs and chewing up the backyard fence and digging holes to china.  she was a black lab puppy that i had the genius idea of bringing home on winter break during college freshman year.  my parents loved that surprise.  ha!  the dog before that (a german shepherd) died of a brain aneurysm.  we thought she had been poisoned by a butthole teenage neighbor so we sent her off to texas a&m for an autopsy.  and the dog before that (a basset hound) was bitten by a rattlesnake, not once but three separate times.  needless to say, my family doesn't have much luck with dogs.  and like i said my dad doesn't really care for dogs and doesn't want my sister to get one.  terrible, i know.  all the dogs were mine and/or my mom's idea. 

anyways, back to bailey... i also mentioned that during the day on monday-friday, she stays over at my parents' house while i'm at work.  i don't want her to be in her kennel all day all by her little furry, big ear lonesome self, plus my parents live close to my office so it's convenient and free doggy daycare!  so from 8:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m., bailey stays with her mimi and gets to play with her aunt and uncle when they get home from school.  my little sister absolutely loves it.  so far it all sounds great, huh??

well, while everyone else in my world knows about my new lovebug, who doesn't know about my little nugget is my dad.  he was in germany for business during thanksgiving so wasn't here to witness my new furry goodness.  "not here for thanksgiving!?!?" you exclaim.  well, yes.  he's swiss.  the pilgrims and indians did not eat and be merry and celebrate thanksgiving in switzerland.  thus, the big wigs at headquarters in germany don't give a shit that those living and working in america may have american spouses with little half-american children who celebrate this glorious holiday.  they called all the presidents from all the offices in the world to come.  they didn't care about turkey and sweet potatoes and pecan pie.  they schedule big, important meetings regardless.  anyways, point being my dad wasn't here to see bailey.

{germany = no thanksgiving!}

he got back in town from germany on december 6th.  it is now december 15th and he still doesn't know i ("they" part time) have a dog.  i drop bailey off after he leaves for work in the morning and i pick her up in the evening before he gets home from work.  my mom does the dirty work and hides the evidence, i.e. raw hides, chew toys, outfits, doggy bed, leash, etc.  we're terrible, i know.

you're probably wondering, meredith, when are you going to tell him?!  funny you should ask, bloggy friends.  you see, today is his birthday and we're grilling steaks and having a big dinner tonight to celebrate.  and guess who is on the guest list???  you guessed it!  my furry little nugget!! 

surprise, dad!!  you're a grandpa!!  happy birthday!!!

i'll let you know how it goes...

motherhood FAIL.

i'm gonna be honest with you guys today - i have nothing to make your lives more exciting or awesome today.

here's why: for starters, it's monday and the weather sucks today.  it's rainy and cloudy and dreary and the snow was too short lived last friday.  and the bigger reason: i'm a bad mom.

i thought i was being a good mommy by getting baby bailey new special dog treats.  by new special dog treats, i mean these chewy, nasty, beef sticks that are apparently the worst possible thing to give dogs.  (question: why the eff would they sell them then, you and i both ask??  answer: the same reason why they sell mcdonald's for human consumption.)  anyways, so i get bailey these chewy "treats" - which she freakin' LOVES, by the way.  i give her four, actually.  (i think one may be the limit for little dogs.)  so as she's eating her treats and wagging her little tail, i'm so stoked that she's loving these treats and i'm busy thinking i'm the best new mom ever.  now, let's fast forward to four hours after she enjoyed the "treats." she gets these weird hiccups, her ears are turned down, and she's looking up at me with the saddest little face ever.  i pet her and ask her what is wrong (as if she's going to answer).  she then proceeds to show me what is wrong by puking up chunks all over the floor.  i'll spare you all the vom details, but she basically threw up her weight in those damn treats.  and then i text my mom crying and told her i'm the worst mom ever.  she texted back this: "wait until you have a human baby and you mess up big.  but i guess you turned out okay."

{this was me.  except my baby was a boxer/boston terrier mix and the poison was bad dog treats}

wishful wednesday.

i woke up this morning wishing it was friday.  it was one of those mornings when i hit the snooze button about five times (three's normally my limit).  being a new mommy is tiring, but i'm loving it.  i am particularly tired today since it was 45 degrees and raining all day and night last night so i couldn't take bailey for a walk.  this meant that my puppy turned into a circus dog jumping and hopping and running all around my condo like a crazy girl.  she has to be taken out regularly to go potty so she doesn't have an accident inside, so i kept my rainboots on all night.  she hates the cold, but the rain doesn't seem to bother her, it just gives her more of a reason to roll in the leaves and dirt and get so wet and dirty that her mommy has to wrap her in a towel to get her clean and dry.  then she gets so excited she starts hopping all around again.  i swear she has a higher vertical jump than lebron james.

i recently heard that domestic pets have been catching the h1n1 swine flu virus, which is why i'm considering purchasing something like this for my little nugget.  the lengths mommies go to for their babies.  *sigh*

happy hump day, everyone!

p.s. - i swear i won't write about my puppy everyday!

my new routine as a puppy mother

while i'm sure having a real human baby of my own is obviously going to be much, much different, having a five month old puppy to take care of day and night all while working a full-time job is tough stuff!  every morning i wake up, get bailey out of her kennel, take her out to use to restroom and go for a short walk.  i get her some water and play with her for a few minutes, then i have to put her in her kennel while i shower and get ready for work.  (i've made the mistake of leaving her out and she pooped and peed on the floor; and i've also made the mistake of bringing her in the bathroom with me thinking she would be good and she jumped into my garden tub with me.  so for now, when i can't watch her every move, she's in her kennel while i get ready.)  after i get ready, i pack up her bag for the day: treats, toys, leash, food, doggie bowls, favorite blanket, and a sweater because it's cold out now, you know.  i take her out one more time to potty, then i put her in her smaller crate and carry her in her crate out to the car.  i drive over to my parent's house which is conveniently close to my office!  my mom is going to do a lot of the training, hopefully!  i let her go out and play in the backyard for a little bit while i get her water and food ready.  i give her lots of hugs, kisses, and belly scratches goodbye and tell her that she better be good for her mimi!  (my mom refuses to be called grandma. ever.)  after work, it's a similar routine.  and then i get up with her about twice in the middle of the night, and since i have no yard behind my condo, just lots of trees and bushes and fallen dead leaves and nocturnal animals roaming around, she gets excited and has to hunt around for awhile before she finally goes potty.  i'm hoping she'll eventually get the hang of it and get less interested in exploring and more interested peeing quickly!

(i'm beginning to wonder if i should host a puppy shower for bailey boo... hahah)

p.s. - more pictures of my little bailey to come...

surprise!!!!! i'm a mommy!!!!

i know, i know... you didn't even know i was expecting.  well, neither did i.  no, this isn't like a story from an episode of TLC's "i didn't know i was pregnant" (although, i do love that show, by the way).  and i didn't exactly give birth.  i adopted... a twelve pound, five month old, white and brindle colored boston-jack russell terrier mix and she's adorable!!!  at first she was sweet and timid and never barked or cried - but now that she has tons of love and toys, she's a little wild woman!!  a wild woman who can jump five feet high!!

{meet bailey}