-- UPDATED -- a letter: i'm on to you, girl scouts of america

dear girl scouts of america:

don't think i don't know what you're up to.  i'm on to you and your plan to make me fat one daisy go-round and trefoil at a time.  i've already purchased 32 boxes of cookies from you brown and green vest-wearing people.  you heard me: THIRTY TWO.  i can prove it by taking a picture of my hall closet for you.  that's right, i said my hall closet.  right next to my ironing board, an exercise ball i never use, and a couple of "buns of steel" circa 1988 workout videos.  do you know why i have your awfully delicious cookies in my hall closet??  because I HAVE NO ROOM IN MY PANTRY.  that's why.  you people are enablers who are interfering with my daily nutritional needs.

 

 {well isn't this just the most PC photo op ever.}

like i said i have THIRTY TWO boxes.  i tell you people this every single day when i go into the grocery store.  there's like 53 of you, all no taller than chuy on chelsea lately, grabbing at my waist begging me to "support your troop!" and buy yet another box of regrettable goodness.  well, you know what ladies??  i've had it!  i've had it with you making me fat just in time for swimsuit season.  you get me on the way in AND then again on the way out.  i know you remember me scream "NO!!" at you the first time.  and you should know that "no" means "no!"  wouldn't want to have a lawsuit on your hands like kobe did, now do you??  that would taint the name of girl scouts of america in a hot minute.

so please, for the love of toned thighs, six-pack abs, and my desire to look like alessandra ambrosio, please leave me alone.

i'm almost out of trefoils, p.s.  you know where i live and i think you still have my credit card number.

love and girl scouts honor,
meredith

---

sidenote #1: a few of you have asked how i'm able to eat these with my food allergies.  i can't eat all of them, (i.e. - the ones that contain milk and nuts), but i can eat the daisy go-rounds (the cinnamon-sugar ones).  i hear i'm missing out on all of the other flavors but whatev.  also, i'm gotten a lot of the little girl scout devel recipes and "modify" some of them to what i can eat. 

sidenote #2:  i don't eat all the boxes by myself!!!  i sent some boxes overseas to the troops in iraq and afghanistan and some to friends going to grad school in other countries and i keep some in my car to give to homeless people asking for food or money.

chirp. tweet. peep.

that's right, i gave in to peer pressure: 

http://twitter.com/flashpasteurize

sock hoarder: i apparently have a thing for socks

i know we all have our own little quirks, idiosyncrasies, and weird things that we do.  at this point in my life, however, i thought i knew all of mine.  i happen to have a lot of them, and i'm pretty sure it comes with the territory of being OCD (may also be read as "crazy").  i don't use that term lightly like some people do.  it seems to be a catch phrase that all of a sudden everyone is describing themselves as "OCD."  i use this term in the real, medical sense, not in the "i like things a certain way" sense.  anyways, now you know i'm legitimately OCD and, those of you who have read my blog for awhile, know i like a lot of weird shit.  no, THE ga doesn't count as the weird shit i like.  she's filed under cool shit i like.  

okay, let me invite you over to last night at my house.  the weather in h-town's going ape shit again and a storm and cold snap are coming our way.  it was just starting to rain last night, so i did my nightly routine and got into bed early to continue reading a book i've really been into lately.  i pull the covers up and find a single, cushy thorlo running sock in my sheets (my fave).  oooh, i think, i wonder where the other one is?  so i start crawling under my sheets and inspect around to find the missing counterpart.  not only do i finally find the missing partner, i also find THIS:

{i am apparently a sock hoarder.}

wtf?! i think, where the hell did all of these socks come from??  let me just say a couple of things: i'm always cold before i go to bed, so i always have to wear socks when i first get into bed.  i can't sleep with them on, so at some point before falling asleep i slide them off under the sheets.  this seems like a plausible explanation for finding six pairs of socks in my sheets, right?  wrong!  i just washed my sheets on tuesday night which means i'd only slept in my bed twice since i washed my sheets and there were definitely not six pairs of socks hiding in there.  i realized that in the middle of the night, instead of finding the pair i took off a couple of hours previous, i go to my sock drawer and just get another pair.  so in two nights time i managed to collect six pairs of socks in my sheets like an effing sock hoarder!  i guess we all have our things.

go check me out today at monique's surferwife's guide to a triathlon!!

monique is one of my really lazy friends.  she has two kids, a surfer husband, and a snarky ass mouth.  oh, and she happens to compete and be a badass in triathlons, too.  whatevs.  okay, she's kind of a big deal.  now, go!!  get yo'self on over there!!

insider talk

** UPDATE **

(you know i never use caps, so this must be important shit)

over $500 later.... my little gremlin and i just got home a little while ago from the vet!  woo hoo!  she is alive and well, just a little groggy but still super excited to be back home.  now the hard part is going to be "not letting her run or jump for 7-10 days."  she's an effing dog, that's what they do.  we'll see how it goes. 

---

i was seriously useless yesterday.  i didn't changed out of the nike be bold running pants that i slept in or my fancy thorlo running socks that i haven't even run in yet.  i don't know if you guys know this, but there.is.nothing.on.tv.during.the.day.  seriously, nothing except law & order re-runs.  i have to be honest, i never really watched or even liked law & order, but with there being literally nothing good on tv, and my little fur baby gone at the vet getting her little reproductive organs worked on, i was sad and lonely so i laid around, moped, worried, felt sorry for myself, read your blogs, and watched tv all day yesterday.  i called the vet clinic every two hours to check on her. obsessive? yes. don't judge. anyways, back to laying around and watching law & order: special victims unit, or "l & o: svu" as the insiders like to call it, and after watching it for eight hours straight, i'm pretty sure i can be classified as an insider.

{check out my crew.  i feel like i know them after yesterday.}

as a result of staring at an LCD screen for eight hours, not only do my eyeballs ache, but i may or may not have a daytime crush on christopher meloni (or as the insiders of l & o: svu call him "detective elliott stabler"). and like any new obsession, i googled him and found a wealth of information from my really smart, all-knowing internet best friend, wikipedia (i call him "wiki" for short). i was given tons of useful information. like the fact that he's older than my freaking mother. only by three years, but still. that his ancestry is irish, french canadian, and italian; he's the youngest of three children; and he graduated from the university of colorado at boulder with a degree in history. oh, and he has baby blue eyes which i'm such a sucker for.  see what you can do with your time off??

{america's favorite dectective.}

{and here's a sexy time pic for all you freaks out there.}

i can't help it. i love vampires.

i realize nothing in this post makes me unique.  but if i wanted to really be unique, i wouldn't have side bangs, wear ankle boots, david yurman jewelry, love loubs and all things monogrammed, or shop at anthropologie, nordstrom, banana republic, ann taylor, or j. crew.  don't get me wrong, i like to mix it up a little and make things uniquely my own and sometimes even try to start new trends, but my point is, we all like the same fads and lust after what's the new "it" item.  the "it" item for me for oh, say, the past five months (i.e. the first time i read and subsequently watched twilight) has been vampires.  by now, you all know i like vampires.  and by like, i really mean love.  not all vampires, of course.  just the hot sexy ones.  the unkempt, but effortlessly sexy one below happens to be my (and every other tweenie bopper's) absolute fave.  like i literally sometimes secretly (and not so secretly) wish he'd be standing in my bedroom waiting for me when i got home from work and seduce me into becoming a vampire.  too much?  maybe so.  okay, i'll stop.

{i seriously wish he was a vamp in real life and we could have little vamp babies.  i don't like to think of myself as obsessed, just more like a really really dedicated fan...}

anyways, i've obviously read all four (five, if you count edward's version, midnight sun, found here at stephenie meyer's website) books of the twilight saga, own the collector's deluxe edition dvd AND blue ray disc of twilight, downloaded it to my ipod, stood in line with lots of middle and high schoolers to watch the midnight showing of new moon, own both movie soundtracks, and would have already purchased tickets for eclipse if they started selling tickets seven months in advance.  it comes out june 2010, by the way.  you get it.  i'm obsessed.

i really only limited my obsession to all things twilight and kind of boycotted any reproductions.  i.e. true blood and vampire diaries.  i was a snob and a one-man kind of gal and wouldn't settle for any vamp other than ed cullen.  well, my friends, as of last night during a two-hour-everyday-this-week-vampire-diaries-marathon on the cw, my snobbish ways are no more.  the plot and storyline are a little strange, but i'm liking it. and i kind of like this stefan salvatore character played by paul wesley, and his effed up but also hot brother, damon salvatore played by ian somerhalder.  the plot's different than twilight in that two vamp brothers - one good, one evil - fight over this chick named elena played by nina dobrev, who happens to look exactly like a girl stefan dated over a century ago.  damon tried to steal her away from stefan, so now they hate each other.  oh, and damon likes to eat people; another reason why stefan hates him.  oh, and instead of elena's bff being a werewolf, she's not a he, and she's a witch.  like i said, weird shit.  seems like in every story it's always us ladies causes the drama. go figure.  we're just so damn good at it.

to be honest, i kind of feel like a sell-out watching it.  i feel like all i'm doing is eating five of the 100 calorie packages of cookies when all i really want is a piece of cake.  what do you think??  have you seen it and/or do you watch it??

{there is no such thing as an ugly vampire.}