FINALLY news you can use #21: the best thing that happens every four years - the WORLD CUP, yo

because i'm getting ready to leave you all for SO long (a whole week!!! ::gasps fill the blogosphere::), i thought it was only fair for me to show you my love by providing you with some very important news you can use!  

by now, you've probably forgotten what that even is, so let me remind you: some of you don't have time to or choose not to keep yourself in the know about important events.  no need to fear, in each edition of news you can use! i supply you with only the very best weekly news.  this news includes - but is not limited to - such important things as: world news, famies news, movie news, reality tv news, interesting and weird happenings news, things i happen to find important or freakishly cool news, and my news (aka - what's going on in my life news). i know. all really exciting stuff.  so sit back, grab a grande skinny vanilla soy latte or a bottle of wine and know you are will be more informed after reading this.  

please know that this week's edition is going to be a little different; really, the only news you can use! right now revolves around the world cup.  and of course, the most gorgeous world cup players.  i'll give a little background and some facts on the players and teams, though i'm sure hutch will be the only one who actually reads that.  the rest of you will just be looking, jaw-dropped and the pictures.  (and by the way, i'm half italian and half swiss; clearly, the italians take the cake on this whole contest.)

name: cristiano ronaldo

country: portugal

position: striker

cool facts: not only is he gorgeous, but he's an amazing player - he's the high paid footballer (soccer, for you americans) in the world.  and he looks amazing in armani underwear.  i'm sorry i can't say that is due to personal experience.

why we love him:not only is he gorgeous, but he's pretty amazing.  i don't particularly like his dating choices, but that doesn't change the fact that i like looking at him.

name: diego forlan

country: uruguay

position: striker

name: freddie ljungberg

country: sweden

position: goalkeeper

why we love him: he's swedish. he models underwear. he's athletic. he has his own blog. yep, he's got everything on our boyfriend checklist. and if he tastes anything like swedish fish, then i'm sure he's delicious.

name: fabio cannavaro

country: italy

position: defense (center back)

cool facts: he's the captain of the italian national team and won the FIFA world player of the year back in the 2006 world cup. 

why we love him: hellllllllo.  he name is freaking FABIO.  and look at him!  do i really need to elaborate????  didn't think so.

 name: carlos bocanegra

country: usa

position: defense (center back or left back)

why we love him: he's sort of kind of adorably cute.

name: yoann gourcuff

country: france

position: midfielder

why we love him: he's a bit of a newbie, but he's dang good.

have a good day.

you're welcome.

p.s. i recently joined a really sweet gym and signed up for some personal training sessions.  i'm planning to do a lot of intense cardio kickboxing courses as well as some MMA (mixed martial arts) training techniques.  my first class was last night and i can barely lift my arms today.  i'm considering taking a page out of shandal's book and posting some before and after type pics.  the thing is, i'm not sure how much my body is really going to change, at least in terms of weight.  i'm not looking to lose any weight, i'm just looking to get ripped (haha!) and really toned.  'm not doing p90x or any type of video training, so i'm wondering if i posted before and after pics would just be lame.  what do y'all think??  yea or nay??

the 10 weirdest athletes of all time

in honor of the opening ceremonies of the olympics this evening, i find it appropriate to share the bleacher report's ten weirdest athletes of all time.  you may love them, you may hate them, or you may not have a clue who the hell they are; in any case, these guys will make you feel "normal," which i know is a stretch for some of us.  i am sad to say - because i did not create this list - THE ga is not on it.  don't worry, i'm still her #1 little monster, along with my haley gaga, of course.

10. clinton portis

{running back for the washington redskins, clinton portis is a nut.  he has various characters he dresses up as for interviews.  like i said freakshow.}

9. chad ochocinco

{just in case you're wondering, he legally changed his changed his last name from "johnson" to ochocinco.  (i would not want to marry him and have to take his name.)  for real.  that in and of itself should give you an idea of the normalcy of this guy.  he probably doesn't even speak spanish.  he's known for his crazy touchdown celebrations, hence the sign in the photo.  }

8. bill "spaceman" lee

{"lee was a man of the earth.  he spoke to animals, supported environmental causes, practiced yoga, and consumed A LOT of pot. in fact, he was once fined $250 by major league baseball for sprinkling marijuana on his pancakes."  i knew that would get your attention.  he was also ridiculously smart.}

7. manny ramirez

{to be honest, i really don't think he's that weird.  at least not weird enough to make the list.  but that's just my opinion.}

6. jimmy piersall

{an outfielder who played in the 50s and 60s, piersall thanks his bipolar disorder for making him famous.  cool?}

5. turk wendall

{the fact that he's wearing what appears to be teeth around his neck should be your first clue.  he was one of the most superstitious baseball players ever and brushed his teeth in between every inning.  honestly, i don't find that weird.  i find it to be a man practicing good hygiene.  he obviously had a thing for teeth.}

4. joe namath

{"broadway joe" was extremely flamboyant in his full length fur coats he'd don on the sidelines.  and he once did an ad in the 70s for pantyhose.}

3. mark "the bird" fidrych

{he apparently looked like big bird and did weird things.  i'm seeing a theme here with baseball players.}

2. dennis rodman

{duh.  this freakshow HAD to make to list.  where is he now, anyways??}

1. mike tyson

{i'm pretty sure no commentary is necessary here.  though my little fur baby has a thing with biting off her mr. mouses' ears, too...}

basketball, cockroaches, and a six month old meatloaf = my weekend

every friday night i go to my little brother's basketball game because i'm a good big sister.  this past friday, his teams lost by one single point, so it was a hard loss, but we all got over it in about 5 minutes.  partially because i was exhausted after his game and needed to respond to some work emails and partially because i'm just a lame ass, i headed home after his game.  i walked in my house to find this 3 inch long SATAN DEMON HELPER:

{after using half a can of scrubbing bubbles shower cleaner, i think i killed it.}

saturday night, my little brother and i went to the houston rockets basketball game with quasi-bf.  the rockets played the bulls and they lost and i cried but we still had a really good time and i think i got over that loss in 5 minutes, too.  i mainly had a really good time staring at other people.  i don't even try to hide the fact that i'm staring either.  seriously, large sporting events and gatherings are the best place to people watch.  it's kind of like airports, but even better because everyone's drinking so their true colors shine through.  drinking really brings out the stupid in people.  what i realized through my hours of people watching is that there are some REALLY weird people in my city.  like really weird.  i mean, i guess i'm weird to some extent, but i think i at least "look" normal and try to hide it sometimes.  these people didn't even try to hide their weirdness; they just let it all hang out.

the night consisted of the fifty year old drunk guy behind us telling my little brother at least twice a quarter how much he looked like "the werewolf dog kid from twilight."  to which i'd respond, "you watch twilight??  cool...?  me too."  he was obvi really cool in my book.  since i know y'all all like pictures, i'll show you one.

{little brother LOVED those noise maker things you'd bang together to distract the other team from making their free throws.  he loved them so much, he asked me if we could "sneak them out."  and i was all like "ummm, yeah, dude.  they're FREE."  and he said "no way!  that's awesome!!"  he's very easily entertained; i guess it's the little things in life...}

so after "sneaking out" the noice maker things, it was time to make our way home back through downtown.  this conversation took place on the way home, which happen to take three times the time it should have because quasi-bf insisted that "jazzy" - his bitch on his GPS - would get us around traffic and we'd get home faster... needless to say, she took us all over the effing city.  he says she senses when i'm in his car and does it just to piss me off.  anyways, we're all arguing over stats on one of the players, and i'm trying to tell them I'M right (because i am 98.9% of the time)...

quasi-bf: what's it like being perfect?

me: {smirking because he finally gets it} it feels good.  how does it feel to be a douchebag?

quasi-bf: stinky!  very very stinky!

little brother: y'all are seriously messed up...

we finally make it home, and i walk in and see THIS.  AGAIN!  SPAWN OF SATAN DEVIL HELPER BACK FROM THE DEAD!!

{it might have been a different one from friday night, but i swear they looked exactly the same.}

sunday was an absolutely gorgeous day.  finally.  we've needed something other than damp, cold rain.  my little bro stayed the night with me after the rockets game, so i had to drag him off my couch early sunday morning to meet my family at church.  after church i knew i had to take advantage of the nice weather.  i hadn't gone for a good run in forever because the weather's been so crappy and my asthma's worse in cold weather, so i decided today would be a good day to ease back into it a do a 6 mile.  i just got a new running belt to hold all of my shit in case of emergency, running shoes, and some cute running clothes, so i was ready to use them.  cute clothes and new shoes are the point of running, right?  exactly.  anyways, i decided i would warm-up for a mile with a walk/jog and take my little meatloaf.  she was so stoked and actually did pretty well on the leash.  minus the whole sniffing another dog's butthole.  this is my little meatloaf after our short mile warm-up.  she couldn't hack it with me, and i'm pretty sure i'm not going to make a running partner out of her.

* sidenote about the satanic cockroaches: i was so freaked out about seeing two devil helpers two nights in a row, i did some research to figure out what was making them come in my home.  i discovered that temperature and climate changes often make them (them = satan helpers) enter homes.  you can guaran-damn-tee i will be duct taping any crevices that they would be able to get in to and calling someone to spray using green chemicals, if they make such a thing.

a letter to bebe "SPORT"

dear bebe "SPORT,"

please notice that "SPORT" is in quotations.  it's in quotations for a reason.  i have a few things i think we should clear up.  maybe you can give me some satisfactory explanations; though, i find that doubtful.  my first question is what the hell does the word "sport" mean to you, bebe??  when i see the word "sport" behind any clothing line's name, i think athletic wear.  i.e. things i can wear while running, biking, hiking, walking my dog, going to the gym, etc.  am i wrong for thinking this?  is there a new definition of "sport" that i am totally unaware of?  the reason why i ask is simple and plastered all over your ads.  for all of the visual readers out there, let me illustrate:

please tell me, bebe "SPORT" designers, would you wear this little number to your gym's spin class??  i'm pretty sure those shorts would ride up and you'd give your little pikachu a serious infection.  and i'm sure the guy on the bike behind you would have trouble focusing on anything other that what was bobbing up and down in front of him.  i seriously doubt even eva longoria herself would wear this.

seriously, bebe??  really??  i'm pretty sure no one will be biking the MS 150 wearing this little top and hot pants.

then there's this catwoman suit.  i'm so confused here i don't even know where to begin.  stilettos, leather, a huge handbag, and basketballs??

i don't have a clue where this lady in red is going but she sure as hell could not contain her girls if she wore this shit to the gym.  i can't tell if she's going to the club or going for a run.

so bebe "SPORT", i'm sure you can appreciate the dilemma i'm having.  i would really appreciate it if you dropped the "SPORT" from your so-called athletic wear line.  let's just call a spade a spade and be done with it. 

your friend who loves cute, FUNCTIONAL workout clothes and not the shit you claim as being such,
meredith