interesting people in my city

okay, so i was at the city of houston public session alllll day yesterday afternoon.  public session is just what it sounds like - people from the public (citizens of houston) come before houston city council and speak on ANY public (or in some cases private) matter they want to.  and i mean ANYthing.  it usually pertains to something that is on the council's agenda the following morning, but sometimes it doesn't.  there's a lot of interesting folks that come down to council.  

by the way, it was 4/20 yesterday, in case you forgot.  and speaking of interesting folks, please check out some of the crazy interesting pro-4/20 advocates.

{please notice that this "gentleman" is wearing a giant marijuana leaf t-shirt and has kindly cut a hole in his shirt to reveal his love for miss mary jane.}

 {just who i would want to take home to meet the family.}

news you can use #16: a $1.5 mil superman, easter bunnies, things i want in my bathroom, dems and repubs, makeovers

i've got a couple new readers since last week, so let me give you newbies a little introduction of what thursdays look like around these parts.  some of you don't have time to or choose not to keep yourself in the know about important events.  no need to fear, in each edition of news you can use! i supply you with only the very best weekly news.  this news includes - but is not limited to - such important things as: world news, famies news, movie news, reality tv news, interesting and weird happenings news, things i happen to find important or freakishly cool news, and my news (aka - what's going on in my life news). i know. all really exciting stuff.  so sit back, grab a grande skinny vanilla soy latte or a bottle of wine and know you are will be more informed after reading this.

superman comic sells for $1.5 million.  yes, that's $1,500,000.  that is a lot of zeros.  a lot of zeros that i could buy a lot of other things with.  like oh, say, pay for my law school education up front, a new car, a house, clothes, shoes, handbags...  heck, i'm sure i'd even have a little money leftover to buy a couple thousand comic books.

{forgive me, but i really just don't get it... to each their own, i suppose}

beware of creepy bunnies.  i know how much we all like pictures, so for your visual enjoyment...

really cool stuff i want in my bathroom.  ever want more cool stuff in your bathroom?  feel like a sink, bath/shower and toilet just aren't enough?  me too.  actually i lose sleep over the endless possibility of new gadgets in my bathroom.  here's just some of the bathroom items i'm currently coveting:

the eclipse television mirror embeds an LCD tv behind a two-way bathroom mirror.  when the tv is off, you can't see it at all.  turn it on using the included remote and voila! watch real housewives of nyc while flossing.  the 15-inch tv mirror starts at $1,326; add another $150 to $300 for the 20-inch unit.

tired of turning the tap on and off?  then boy, have i got a gadget for you lazies!  this "intelligent faucet" from iHouse uses facial recognition to recognize you automatically and adjust the water temperature and flow to your tastes.  the touchscreen lets you check your email, blog, twitter, facebook, weather forecasts, and your daily schedule while bathing.

are you a sun-worshipper with no time for a tanning salon or the great outdoors?  this $11,000 tanning shower allows you to bronze your skin as you wash.  switch on specific tanning lamps to target particularly pale areas where the sun never shines.  hmmm, this seems to be skin cancer waiting to happen.

our favorite dems and repubs.  you know i had to get one political thing up in here.  plus, i think some of you will find it interesting.  well, i do, at least - seeing is though politics is my career.  newsweek recently put out democrats five favorite republicans, and republicans five favorite democrats.  i'll refrain from any political commentary, but i will say that for the most part, i agree with the choices.

conservatives 5 fave dems

1. jim webb
(senator from virginia)

2. rahm emanuel
(white house chief of staff)

3. barney frank
(rep from massachusetts) 

4. russ feingold
(senator from wisconsin)

5. brad henry
(gov. of oklahoma)

liberals 5 fave repubs

1. scott brown
(senator from massachusetts)

2. jon huntsman
(u.s. ambassador to china)

3. mitch daniels
(gov. of indiana)

4. paul ryan
(rep from wisconsin)

5. charlie crist
(current gov. of florida, running for senate)

blog makeover coming soon.  pretty soon, things are going to be changing around these parts thanks to marina with penny lane designs.  stay tuned!

there's a pageant for everyone. even you.

have you ever wanted to enter a contest or pageant but feel like you don't fit in anywhere?  if that's what you think then you are seriously and sadly mistaken, my friend(s).  there's something for everyone.  and my everyone, i mean EV.ER.Y.ONE.  don't believe me?  let me show you:

here in a shopping mall in shenyang, china is the miss plump beauty pageant.  i seriously thought this was a wedding dress.  or a quinceanera dress.  we have lots of those in tejas.

my friends in mumbai, india hosts the "indian super queen" beauty pageant for the transgender community. around 400 contestants participated in february. 

a balinese transexual gets ready for a similar competition on the island of bali.

khadra al-mubarak is one of the organizers of the "miss beautiful morals" pageant in saudi arabia.  the winner will be the one who exhibits the most devotion and respect for her parents irrespective of her looks.  i am fairly certain that none of my readers will be winning this contest anytime soon.

rita, who declined to give her last name, belts out a tune during the talent portion of the second annual miss independence day pageant at walden house, a residential treatment center south of downtown los angeles.  even addicts get in on the action.

and yes, there is a miss outdoors pageant.  dakota abbott was one of two pageant contestants to also enter the muskrat-skinning contest in maryland.  i'm fairly certain sarah palin could enter and win this whole thing.

these are the three finalists in the prison beauty pageant.  each september, the female inmates hold a pageant in honor of the virgin of mercedes, the patron saint of prisoners.  umm, cool...?

...and lithuania.  they call theirs "miss captivity."  wow.  classy.

baton twirler shelby annelle twirls her heart out in "the great american trailer park pageant."  tt was hosted by jerry springer 2005.  naturally.

there's even a contest between HIV infected women call "miss positive."  perhaps it's just me, but this seems a bit insensitive.  maybe i'm wrong?

the miss dog america competition is fierce.  my bailey could totes win this.

news you can use #15: cars of the future, going postal, famies and lyme disease, the hunger games

cars of the future.  segways meet smart cars.  these GM city cars will be able to "communicate" with other cars to prevent traffic hang-ups and wrecks.  they're designed for use in very high population areas, such as shanghai.  i'm pretty sure we won't see any in america anytime soon.

{i'm pretty sure getting into a wreck in one of these babies with some of our "texas" trucks would mean certain death.}

no more mail on saturdays.  the u.s. postal service dropped to five-day delivery cutting out saturday deliveries.  this kind of sucks because i generally mail stuff out on saturdays, but i guess it doesn't significantly alter my life in any big way, so i'm already over it.  the postal service says this delivery change will save over $3 billion annually.  i certainly hope this means that the costs of stamps will stop going up every five minutes.  for real, i think it was $0.20 to mail a letter when i was born and now it's $0.44.  you can read the full article here.

{images found here}

ben stiller may have lyme disease.  after a trip to mozambique and falling in a ditch hurting his knee, actor ben stiller may have lyme disease.  just so you know, a mosquito bit me the other day, and i might have malaria.  i'm going to the doctor just to be sure.  and just in case you think i'm being insensitive (which may or may not be highly probable), lyme disease is an easily treatable inflammatory illness spread through a tick bite which is common on the east coast of the u.s.  and also just so you know, this was one of the top stories in houston's online newspapers.  we treat famies good around here.

{i'm so glad this story was front page worthy.}

books i'm loving right now:

{the hunger games is the first book and i'm nearly done with the second book, catching fire, and i still don't know when the third will come out!!  i spent all day yesterday home sick in bed just reading and sleeping.  eeeek!  i don't know how long i can wait!}

news you can use #14: trophy obesity, surferwife being famie, sandra and jesse, dog eats diamond, healthcare, vote for jess

it's thursday, and you all know what that means.  i know, it's your favorite day of the week around these parts and the only reason why you read my pandering.

aiming to be the world's fattest woman.  first of all, you read that right.  second, of all who does this?!  according to this article,  donna simpson is working as hard as she can to get fat - very, very fat.  she weighs 600 pounds, she claims, and is vying for the title of world's fattest woman from the guinness book of world records.  if she can't do it, she'll settle for world's fattest mom.  wow, lady.  wow.  so you're willing to slowly kill yourself and leave your children motherless.  i wonder what people's reaction would be if this woman was anorexic and she was starving herself to be the "world's skinniest woman."  this woman obviously has some sort of illness (other than obesity), and for the sake of her children, i hope she gets help.

 {way to stay healthy for your kids.  very admirable.}

surferwife is super famous which means i am kind of famous.  i am really lucky to be a part of an amazing trifecta.  (trifecta = jessalyn from cape cod awesome, monique from a day in the life of a surferwife, and yours truly.)  each of us ladies bring something awesome to the table.  for one member of the trifecta, we keep her around to get close to the famies.  surferwife and her surferhusband went to the... wait for it... taping of the chelsea lately show!!  if you have no clue who chelsea handler, chuy, heather "longboobs" mcdonald, or any of the other crew is, i've provided hyperlinks and pictures.  you're welcome.  not only was surferchick specifically invited by heather "longboobs" mcdonald, but "longboobs" also follows her on freaking twitter.  this in and of itself makes surferwoman a big effing deal.  let me spell this out for you: "longboobs" has over 28,000 followers and she only follows 30 people.  30 people, people.  surferwife is one of those 30.  insane.  be sure to tune in or set your DVRs to E!  at 10:30 p.m. CST.  surferwoman will be documenting the whole experience tomorrow on her blog so be sure and check her out.  she's promised jess and i it will be legendary.

{chelsea handler and her ever faithful sidekick, chuy.}

sandra bullock and jesse james split??  say it ain't so!!  there are reports saying that america's sweetheart, sandra bullock, and her tatted up husband, jesse james, are no longer living under the same roof.  people magazine is reporting this and people is usually pretty legit... i hope they're wrong.

{j.j. apparently cheated on sandy with a tattoo-porn star model.}

maryland dog eats $20,000 diamond.  i would have died on the spot.  at least i'm not the only one with a bad dog.  mine just eats dead squirrels.  nothing of significant value.

tab for house health bill: $940B over 10 years.  can i just be honest?  i don't mean to get all political up in yo' faces, but this really stresses me out.  house democrats are on track for a sunday vote on sweeping health care legislation that will expand coverage to millions of uninsured while also reducing the federal deficit, leaders said today.   the bill delivers on pres obama’s top domestic priority by providing coverage to more than 30 million people now uninsured at a 10-year cost of $940 billion.  it does so through a combination of tax credits for middle class households and an expansion of the medicaid program for low income people.  read the full article here.

go vote for jessalyn from cape cod awesome here!  you will be able to vote on the sidebar.  it's quick, easy and takes 2.23 seconds of your time.

to catch up on all the news you've missed, go here.

news you can use #12: newlywed in jailed bliss, the skinny on mickey d's, bill and tiger, and the ga

newlywed couple spends first night together in jail.  a newlywed couple spent their wedding night in separate jail cells after police said the bride tried to run over an old flame of the groom.  well, that's one helluva way to never forget your wedding night, eh??  this story took place in none other than the hometown of one of my intahweb soulmates.  and you just thought the cape was a boring place!

weight watchers partnering up with the golden arches.  say whaaaat??  first off, let it be known that i hate mcdonald's.  not just the food itself, but the whole global phenomenon of "mcdonaldization."  (don't get me started.  i'm a socio-political studies major and this could get ugly.)  word on the street is weight watchers is going to be putting its logo on some of mcdonald's menu items in new zealand now that mickey d's is trying to make all of their "nutritional" information public.  can it even be called "nutritional" when it's pure crap??  call me a bad future mother, but i will not be taking my kids to mcdonald's.  ever.  period.  i will feed them pizza.  and ice cream.  and green vegetables.  and i will pray to God that they don't inherit their momma's food allergies.  otherwise they will only be eating quail and manna from heaven.

bill clinton offering support to le tigre.  really?  apparently the former prez gives good advice.  well, b.clinton should know best.  guess tiger and ol' billy will be like two peas in a pod.

{B + T = hearts}

sorry, she's not taking calls she's kinda biz-zay.  how can you not love her, people?!

{t-t-t-t-telephone}

the 10 weirdest athletes of all time

in honor of the opening ceremonies of the olympics this evening, i find it appropriate to share the bleacher report's ten weirdest athletes of all time.  you may love them, you may hate them, or you may not have a clue who the hell they are; in any case, these guys will make you feel "normal," which i know is a stretch for some of us.  i am sad to say - because i did not create this list - THE ga is not on it.  don't worry, i'm still her #1 little monster, along with my haley gaga, of course.

10. clinton portis

{running back for the washington redskins, clinton portis is a nut.  he has various characters he dresses up as for interviews.  like i said freakshow.}

9. chad ochocinco

{just in case you're wondering, he legally changed his changed his last name from "johnson" to ochocinco.  (i would not want to marry him and have to take his name.)  for real.  that in and of itself should give you an idea of the normalcy of this guy.  he probably doesn't even speak spanish.  he's known for his crazy touchdown celebrations, hence the sign in the photo.  }

8. bill "spaceman" lee

{"lee was a man of the earth.  he spoke to animals, supported environmental causes, practiced yoga, and consumed A LOT of pot. in fact, he was once fined $250 by major league baseball for sprinkling marijuana on his pancakes."  i knew that would get your attention.  he was also ridiculously smart.}

7. manny ramirez

{to be honest, i really don't think he's that weird.  at least not weird enough to make the list.  but that's just my opinion.}

6. jimmy piersall

{an outfielder who played in the 50s and 60s, piersall thanks his bipolar disorder for making him famous.  cool?}

5. turk wendall

{the fact that he's wearing what appears to be teeth around his neck should be your first clue.  he was one of the most superstitious baseball players ever and brushed his teeth in between every inning.  honestly, i don't find that weird.  i find it to be a man practicing good hygiene.  he obviously had a thing for teeth.}

4. joe namath

{"broadway joe" was extremely flamboyant in his full length fur coats he'd don on the sidelines.  and he once did an ad in the 70s for pantyhose.}

3. mark "the bird" fidrych

{he apparently looked like big bird and did weird things.  i'm seeing a theme here with baseball players.}

2. dennis rodman

{duh.  this freakshow HAD to make to list.  where is he now, anyways??}

1. mike tyson

{i'm pretty sure no commentary is necessary here.  though my little fur baby has a thing with biting off her mr. mouses' ears, too...}