Thursday, March 4, 2010

news you can use #12: newlywed in jailed bliss, the skinny on mickey d's, bill and tiger, and the ga




newlywed couple spends first night together in jail.  a newlywed couple spent their wedding night in separate jail cells after police said the bride tried to run over an old flame of the groom.  well, that's one helluva way to never forget your wedding night, eh??  this story took place in none other than the hometown of one of my intahweb soulmates.  and you just thought the cape was a boring place!


weight watchers partnering up with the golden arches.  say whaaaat??  first off, let it be known that i hate mcdonald's.  not just the food itself, but the whole global phenomenon of "mcdonaldization."  (don't get me started.  i'm a socio-political studies major and this could get ugly.)  word on the street is weight watchers is going to be putting its logo on some of mcdonald's menu items in new zealand now that mickey d's is trying to make all of their "nutritional" information public.  can it even be called "nutritional" when it's pure crap??  call me a bad future mother, but i will not be taking my kids to mcdonald's.  ever.  period.  i will feed them pizza.  and ice cream.  and green vegetables.  and i will pray to God that they don't inherit their momma's food allergies.  otherwise they will only be eating quail and manna from heaven.



bill clinton offering support to le tigre.  really?  apparently the former prez gives good advice.  well, b.clinton should know best.  guess tiger and ol' billy will be like two peas in a pod.

{B + T = hearts}

sorry, she's not taking calls she's kinda biz-zay.  how can you not love her, people?!

{t-t-t-t-telephone}

30 comments:

Stacy said...

I know they're bad for you but mcnuggets are oh-so-delicious. You don't know what you're missing! I rarely eat them, and probably haven't in about 2 years, but they are pretty darn scrumptious!

The Only Girl said...

I can assure you that the pre-Mother me said the same thing about McD's and my future kids.

But what happens is that someone else takes them there (a grandparent, an aunt, one of their little friend's birthday parties) and they become instant fans.

Then they DRIVE YOU CRAZY asking to go back to McDonald's. You can hold out for about 8 months, but then they wear you down and catch you on a bad day, and before you know it . . . you're looking through the glass wall of the Playland while you finish up your fries.

Trust me.

Kelly @ Dare to be Domestic said...

This whole Weight Watchers thing really drives me nuts. I'm sure the plan works great but for people NOT on the plan - I think most tend to think if it says Weight Watchers it's healthy and that's usually not the case. It's ok with in MODERATION Is what I think Weight Watchers is trying to promote but me - Everyday Jane will automatically think "HEY... it's weight watchers I can eat this all day". I know better but you know what I mean.

Clinton supporting the Tiger... too funny! Next think you know Hilary will have Elli or whatever her name is under her wing and wearing pant suits.

The Ga is fabulous. I'd love to be one of her wardrobe peeps. It would put my creative mind to good use! It's a toss up between working for her, or the people at Charm City Cakes. :)

Lastly what is up with the water in The Cod?!?! Don't DRINK IT JESSALYNN!!!

B-Dub said...

Your addition of Ga has brought with it a ray of sunshine in to my very unhappy day. Iloveyouman!

Brown Girl said...

That sure is a way to remember your wedding night, klassy! I don't even want to get started on McD's. Ugh.

Cathy said...

One of my former hs classmates got a dui on her wedding night. Why she didn't arrange someone to drive her and new hubby to the hotel is beyond me. When they got pulled over the hubby punched the cop and then, of course, went to jail for the night. Yeah, I grew up in the boonies.

Some days I just have to have McD's fries. So delicious. And maybe a chocolate shake.

MCW said...

Not gonna lie. I love McDonalds. However, sould a weight loss company really be encouraging people to eat fake, processed, crap foods????

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

Are we going to break up because I like McDonalds? Best. Fries. Ever.

And why am I not invited to cool ass weddings like the one on The Cod?

Natalie said...

The only thing I ever eat from Mickey D's are the fries. They're the best. I may (or may not) be guilty of going to Wendy's for a Frosty & then to the closest McDonalds for the fries.. all in the same trip.

KLaw said...

These are great! Although I have to admit, I cannot stand Gaga. I think she's a little too inyourface eccentric. Her music is great though.

Ams said...

My kids are obsssssessssed with the song Telephone. Haha
Gotta love it. And seriously - Weight Watchers and McDonalds? What are they going to think of next.

jessalyn said...

that's how weddings on the cod go down peeps. the flash and surferwife are in for a treat on september the third of twothousandeleven. i can almost gah-ran-tee you ladies will be bailing my ass outta jail on the morning of september the fourth. fyi. not for running a biotch down though. for something else i haven't yet declared. oh wait. manfriend=cop in this town (i wish he was at that call). hmm. will need to rethink this. maybe we should hold the festivities in another town.

anybookreportcomment, i like McD's when i am sads- fries make me feel better for a nano-second. then worse for eating ickiness.

Allyson said...

First of all...I just LOVE that you've found Stories of the Weird on the cape. How could Jess forget to write about such a thing??

Also, I saw a 5-year old McDonald's french fry once. It looked EXACTLY the same. That killed my fast food addiction. Cold turkey. I can't believe WW is buying into this. This is NOT the way to world domination.

I think B and T make a lovely couple. Who's going to wear the soiled dress, though?

And I appreciate your (and a couple nameless others') ga addictions. If it weren't for you, I would be hopelessly out of touch. Now I can intelligently talk about her telephone hat and chicken claw bangles. So, thanks for that.

ScoMan said...

That first story was hilarious.

I don't have a problem with Weight Watchers approving some of the McDonalds meals if they're up to scratch.

A girl I work with has lost about 30 kilos in the last 12 months and she eats McDonalds "Healthy Choice" range about 3 times a week because she can't be bothered with cooking and dishes (and in a small town like this, it's either McDonalds or KFC if you want an easy meal)

Existential Waitress said...

TOTALLY agree about the McDonald's thing. Sad thing is, they sponser all sorts of crap for schools so my kids an inundated with McDonald's propaganda constantly. those momfos are smart.

I like the first story about the newlyweds. How charmingly trailer trash. Good times.

I'm curious about your food allergies. My kids were born with them and I'm gluten intolerant. Just talkin' shop.

Ashley said...

I think if you never give the kids that crap they will never know what they're missing and never want it. My step-kids eat McD's and Wendy's alllllll the time and thats all they ever want to eat. They throw a fit when they come to my house and actually have to eat things that aren't deep-fried (though, being a Southern woman, some things are).
Love the Ga ;)

Salt said...

Oh Ga. I wish I could pull off something like that.

Those people sound as if they had a way more interesting wedding night then I did for sure. :)

foxy said...

I have to say, nothing cures my hangovers like McD's cheeseburger and fries. Even though, as Ally points out, you can't tell the difference between a fresh-outta-the-fryer fry and a 5-year-old fry from mere visual inspection... they are excellent all the same. Sometimes I'm just drawn there, it's sad actually.

Anyway, why doesn't it surprise me about the tiger/bill connection??

Bathwater said...

Lady Ga is Ga-one over board I think she actually THINKS she needs to top herself, I pity her. I fear she will kill herself soon in an attempt to out do herself.

Bill and Tiger are two peas I agree :)

I am lobby on behalf of McDonald's if they can offer food that is nutritional who are you to argue without giving the menu a new look and compare it to other offerings I say!

Good thing you said "one of your internet soulmates". I would have been crashed otherwise. ;)

SG said...

McDonald's gives me the poops yet I continue to eat it. I'm such a follower :(

Yankee Girl said...

Weight Watchers and McD's? I never thought it would happen. It's gross. Now people will think that it's good for them because it says weight watchers on it! Ugh!

Cee said...

Yikes I am mad at WW now and they have been my new obsession. I am just going to ignore the McDs thing so I can still love WW.

Karls said...

Ewwwww! I imagine they would taste something like the 2nd hand nuggets I ate last week (ewww makes me sick just thinking about it). We have the pizza place 'Dominos' that makes a Biggest Loser range of pizza's now. All under 380 calories. I'm sure they taste like eating cardboard. I'll make my own thanks!

Sarah said...

Love that photo of Lady Gaga. My husband is totally obsessed with her, by the way (just in case you were interested!)

OneCraftyFox said...

Forget TMZ, your news is better :)

Brunch at Saks said...

Haha- love this! And um, running over your hubby's ex?! Wow! Would love to know why he was in jail though! Maybe he helped her do it?! Hope you are having a great week, gorgeous girl! xoxo

Kristin said...

I seriously don't know how anybody couldn't love le Gaga. She is AMAZING!

Brittany said...

Gaga cracks me up :-) She's just so fabulous! That story about the wedding is insane. Who does that?!

P.S - I love McDonald's fries. Too bad I'm on a fast food strike. lol

Anyway, glad you're back to blogging! xoxo

Ed said...

I read that newlywed story when it broke.

What retards.

sanjeet said...

Then they DRIVE YOU CRAZY asking to go back to McDonald's. You can hold out for about 8 months, but then they wear you down and catch you on a bad day, and before you know it . . . you're looking through the glass wall of the Playland while you finish up your fries.

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