Thursday, March 18, 2010

news you can use #14: trophy obesity, surferwife being famie, sandra and jesse, dog eats diamond, healthcare, vote for jess

it's thursday, and you all know what that means.  i know, it's your favorite day of the week around these parts and the only reason why you read my pandering.


aiming to be the world's fattest woman.  first of all, you read that right.  second, of all who does this?!  according to this article,  donna simpson is working as hard as she can to get fat - very, very fat.  she weighs 600 pounds, she claims, and is vying for the title of world's fattest woman from the guinness book of world records.  if she can't do it, she'll settle for world's fattest mom.  wow, lady.  wow.  so you're willing to slowly kill yourself and leave your children motherless.  i wonder what people's reaction would be if this woman was anorexic and she was starving herself to be the "world's skinniest woman."  this woman obviously has some sort of illness (other than obesity), and for the sake of her children, i hope she gets help.

 {way to stay healthy for your kids.  very admirable.}


surferwife is super famous which means i am kind of famous.  i am really lucky to be a part of an amazing trifecta.  (trifecta = jessalyn from cape cod awesome, monique from a day in the life of a surferwife, and yours truly.)  each of us ladies bring something awesome to the table.  for one member of the trifecta, we keep her around to get close to the famies.  surferwife and her surferhusband went to the... wait for it... taping of the chelsea lately show!!  if you have no clue who chelsea handler, chuy, heather "longboobs" mcdonald, or any of the other crew is, i've provided hyperlinks and pictures.  you're welcome.  not only was surferchick specifically invited by heather "longboobs" mcdonald, but "longboobs" also follows her on freaking twitter.  this in and of itself makes surferwoman a big effing deal.  let me spell this out for you: "longboobs" has over 28,000 followers and she only follows 30 people.  30 people, people.  surferwife is one of those 30.  insane.  be sure to tune in or set your DVRs to E!  at 10:30 p.m. CST.  surferwoman will be documenting the whole experience tomorrow on her blog so be sure and check her out.  she's promised jess and i it will be legendary.

{chelsea handler and her ever faithful sidekick, chuy.}


sandra bullock and jesse james split??  say it ain't so!!  there are reports saying that america's sweetheart, sandra bullock, and her tatted up husband, jesse james, are no longer living under the same roof.  people magazine is reporting this and people is usually pretty legit... i hope they're wrong.

{j.j. apparently cheated on sandy with a tattoo-porn star model.}


maryland dog eats $20,000 diamond.  i would have died on the spot.  at least i'm not the only one with a bad dog.  mine just eats dead squirrels.  nothing of significant value.

tab for house health bill: $940B over 10 years.  can i just be honest?  i don't mean to get all political up in yo' faces, but this really stresses me out.  house democrats are on track for a sunday vote on sweeping health care legislation that will expand coverage to millions of uninsured while also reducing the federal deficit, leaders said today.   the bill delivers on pres obama’s top domestic priority by providing coverage to more than 30 million people now uninsured at a 10-year cost of $940 billion.  it does so through a combination of tax credits for middle class households and an expansion of the medicaid program for low income people.  read the full article here.





go vote for jessalyn from cape cod awesome here!  you will be able to vote on the sidebar.  it's quick, easy and takes 2.23 seconds of your time.


to catch up on all the news you've missed, go here.

48 comments:

Jen said...

First off, worlds fattest woman? Whoa! 600 pounds is a lot…what is her goal? i.e. what does she need to make the world record?

I’ve HEARD that Sandra moved out a couple days before the news broke that he had an affair. Ugh! Hope it’s not true. I was just starting to like their quirkiness as a couple…

OMG about the dog; Granted I’d freak out if Batman ate my ring…BUT won’t it just *ahem* come out eventually?

Jen said...

Oh AND I just voted for your friend!

Cara Smith said...

I actually had a guest blogger yesterday who posted about the health bill. Grrrr!

On the Sandra and Jesse deal. I hope it's not true, but we will never know what really happened.

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

Now I know I have hit the big time when I get my very own section of your News You Can Use.

Yes, I am super famous now. It's a rather rough life I live these days what with all the paps.

Chelsea talked about that fat lady on the show her and I taped together. And my best friedn Heather has the best commentary ever for it.

Loves to you.

SG said...

I really like Sandra Bullock so it makes me sad to hear about her and her husband though I guess it's not that surprising considering it is Hollywood. She can do way better than him anyway.

T said...

I don't want to believe the news about Sandra Bullock and her hot as hell hubby.

Makes me sad.

Cee said...

I'm super sad about Sandy...I really thought they were an adorable and "real" couple. I really really hope this isn't true or I will cry and cry.

Why would you ever try to be the world's fattest woman? She needs major help!

Ashley said...

Ok, seriously, if Jesse cheated on her he is a fucking douche. Didn't he hear what she said in her Oscar acceptance speech?!

Stacy said...

I was just saying that the stupid fat lady ought to be killed! When she gets diabetes and heart disease, who's going to pay those healthcare costs? THE TAXPAYERS! Redonkulous! And OMG, I am so jealous! I'm obsessed with Chelsea Lately and I love Heather "Long Boobs"!!!!! I follow her on Twitter but woe is me, she does not follow back!

bananas. said...

OMG i'm so pissed off about jesse james. gah! what an A-HOLE!!! this is exactly why i hate most men. always eager to please the penis. booooo! booo jesse!!!

and that fat mom sucks! news you can use is making me pissy. haha.

Mrs. Hesson said...

Grrrr SO MAD about Jessie and Sandra. What is he thinking?!?!

Kelly @ Dare to be Domestic said...

That fatty woman is insane... then again my guess is she's too lazy to diet and rather get bitched at from other family members about being out of shape she figured she'd make it a goal, instead of a death sentence... Joke's on her, it's both!

YAY FOR SURFERWIFE HITTING UP CHELSEA - I'm so jealous but ready to tune it to see her on screen tonight! (IT will air tonight possibly right?)

I am so pissed at Jesse James... SLUM MUCH?! How sad, this really sucks. I wanted to pray it wasn't true but in the end it probably is. What an idiot. Sandra Bullock has always been a woman crush of mine. He's totes stupid!

The Only Girl said...

Big sads for Sandra.

But even bigger sads for me because up here in the great white north we don't get the Chelsea show. Which means I won't get to see Surferwife's episode. Which actually means that pre-Surferwife, I didn't even know who Chelsea was.

I know, I know. BIG sads. So if anyone knows how I can see the episode on-line . . . please call me.

Vic said...

I'm so sad about Sandra... she deserves better if Jesse really did that.

Salt said...

Unfortunately I think the awful news about Sleazy McScumbucket Jesse James is true. M and I were just talking about how happy they seemed the other night. Yes my husband talked to me about celeb gossip. I love him.

I literally JUST READ the fat woman story 5 minutes before I visited your blog. Seriously, how irresponsible do you have to be to do that to yourself when you have children? That makes me madder than a bee.

And let me check...yep still really jealous of Surferwife. I need details on her day yesterday pronto.

Elizabeth Marie said...

the fattest woman thing PISSES ME OFF.

And Sandra...so sad. GAHHHH

jessalyn said...

thanks for the shout out bestie! <3

fat lady=the sads.

jesse and sandra=the sads.

surferwife=the awesomeness. i need a celebs attention. i mean in addition to surferwifes.

healthcare= you know how i feel about the political stuff. but i like it when you talk about it because then i feel smarts by association.

jessalyn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brown Girl said...

So very sad about JJ and SB, I really love her. I hope it's not true!!

Sammy said...

I work for a lobbyist for healthcare (thankfully it's just state) but I HATE POLITICS, so I'm not gonna even go there...

BUT...

That fat lady has lost her mind! Didn't she see that special on TLC/Discovery Health on Half-ton Mom, so sad and she actually sought help, but in the end her obesity left her girls motherless.

Oh and don't get me started how much Jesse James is pissing me off. I hope he didn't cheat on Sandra, she doesn't deserve that!

hotpants™ said...

I can't wait to read SurferWife's post. I love me some Chelsea Handler.

hotpants™ said...

Oh, and I hope it's not true about Sandra and Jesse, but every single news source seems to think it is. She moved out a few days before the story broke. She cancelled her press tour overseas. Jesse deleted his Twitter account.

Summer said...

just another excuse to eat a cheeseburger, I think. =) It doesn't sound so bad actually.

Hutch said...

I think I was more sad about the Kate Winslet split than the news of Sandy. I'm starting to believe the Best Actress curse though!

Bathwater said...

I need the government to start doing my books because spending that way never seems to save me money!

Erin said...

I don't think 600 lbs is close to being the world's fattest woman. I've seen too many of those Discovery Health shows with bigger people....

And I love Chelsea Lately! Can't wait to see/hear all the deets! Woohoo!

Karls said...

I read about this woman! I thought to myself... that sounds like something healthy to aim for. Obviously she has very little self respect - or respect for her children. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

Brittany said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brittany said...

I voted for your friend :-)

The obese woman just disgusts me. Way to be a postive role model for your kids. Let's just show them that it's great to not be able to watch more then 20 steps and have all the disease associated with obesity. She should get the mother of the year award.

I envy SurferWife right now. I'm so beyond jealous but happy for her :-)

And the Sandra thing is sad. I feel bad for her.

P.S - How come I'm not one of your daily digests? lol.. Just askinnn'

Nikosmommy said...

Ooooh Sandy! Being beautiful, talented and in possession of an Oscar apparently isn't enough for J.J. How can you compete with a Tattooed-stripper-porn star these days?

MiMi said...

J.J. = Dumb
Fat lady = Dumb
Dog eating diamond = Dumb
Healthcare bill that will bankrupt our kids = Dumb
LOL! That was easy.

Tara said...

i have been trying to be the world's fattest woman for YEARS! this chick stole my spotlight. ugh.

B-Dub said...

The 600 lb woman? Thats what I look like when pregnant. Not kidding, even a little. Sads for me...

Kristin said...

1. Sandy will bounces back. She rocks. 2. The fattest women...no words. Do you care about your child at all? I am so beyond disturbed by this!

Kiera said...

good point with teh anorexia thing.

have i ever told you i love news you can use?!?!

did i really make it to your fb page? i feel im being mocked :)

Mad Woman said...

I really hope it's not true about Jesse & Sandra. I read something about the tattooed model being a transvestite. Hahahahaha!

And that fattest woman? Um. EW! What a stupid idea.

Candice said...

You can pay to watch fatty eat if you're so inclined. Uh yeah, no.

Btw. Going to see Chelsea perform stand up next month. I can't wait!

Whitney said...

Until 2 weeks ago I had no idea who "Chuy" was(he's everywhere now. Porn star.)... until my friend from H.S. was dancing with him at a club in L.A. Oh and now she is starring in a movie with Ashton Kutcher. CRAZY.

Lluvia said...

I couldn't concentrate on the other news. the whole time I kept thinking about the fat woman!

Hope Chella said...

I feel so sad for Sandra :(

http://hopechella.blogspot.com/

Sarah Ann said...

That lady is crazy?! What?!!
And as far as Jesse James goes... ugh!

Following your blog!! :D

I'm doing a giveaway - come check it out @ sarahannrogers.com

Ashley said...

Ok seriously?!? The world's fattest mom? That lady is out of control...who WANTS to be fat?!? I agree...not very admirable AT ALL!

ANNNDDDD...health care?! Don't even get me started...totally not ok with this at all.

OneCraftyFox said...

Girl, you are too funny ;)

Lace said...

Hey woman, did you ever get your hat in the mail??

ScoMan said...

I think your health care system is now about on par with ours, but I'm not sure.

All I know is, it was bad before, and now I think similar to ours.

But times of economic crisis are not good times to go increasing your spending.

But times on increased health care are good times to go for the title of worlds fattest woman.

Aunt Juicebox said...

I'm kind of not surprised about Jesse and Sandra....but poor Sandra. =(

Cathy said...

I'm not reading all eleventy comments so sorry if I repeat.

1st. my mouth actually hung open in awe at the stupid fat lady. because she's stupid.

2nd. "30 people, people" made me laugh out loud. I'm trying to figure out how to reconfigure trifecta into quadfecta or something...

3rd. Jesse James you a damn fool.

4th. diamonds make me say "meh"

5th. no words. no words

Shandal said...

To the world's fattest woman: Dream Big.