TFLN

since it's friday, and i'm still stuck at work, here's a little entertainment from our friends over at texts from last night (TFLN).  in the slim chance you've never seen or heard of TFLN, people send texts they've sent and/or received to this site which collects them.  the number in front in the area code of the person sending it.  you may come to find you have a lot of "cool" people in your city.  just an fyi to those who anal about grammar, there's a lot of typos and mistakes in these people's texts (i.e. - 90% of them are naked wasted when sending them); thus, they are insanely funny.  kinda wish this was around when i was in college.  i probably could have guessed which of my friends sent stuff in.

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(306): So not only did i just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".

(843): I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.

(708): After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."

 

(805): Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.

(224): Can you put "designated driver" on a resume? 

(916): Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.

(571): the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.  ((f)p note: yessss, vamps!)

(973): all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.  ((f)p note: quasi-bf does not exist then)

(630): dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.

(956): Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity

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have a great weekend everyone!!  one week until christmas!!  oh, and i have a hair appointment tomorrow and i'm getting bangs... hmm, we'll see how it goes.

p.s. - go tell jessalyn merry christmas... she's kind of being a scrooge about the whole holiday and doesn't want to give or RECEIVE gifts!!  i know, right?!  wtf!  luff ya, jess! ;)

to: (f)p readers

love: jessalyn