it's that time of year: fat men in suits

no matter how old i am, my mom demands asks that her three children take pictures with santa EVERY.SINGLE.YEAR.  guess it's more for the tradition and my little sister (almost 11) than it is for my little brother (almost 18) and i (mid 20-something).  plus, she has a tablescape at her house of all of our photos over the years.  funny, i look the EXACT SAME in every one since i've been 16.  anyways, today happens to be the big day that i get to sit next to (or even more disturbing and sometimes, on the lap of) a paid man in a suit.  don't get me wrong, i love santa, and he's good to me every year.  i just don't like the suit.  it's germy and i want to spray him down with a can of lysol.  it grosses me out.  but rather than causing a scene and having to face the wrath of my mother (who can be a bigger beyotch than me), i deal with the germs and put a smile on my face.

so in honor of today, i share with you some kids who hate taking santa pics even more than me.

{little girl through gritted teeth: billy, i told you NOT to ruin it this year for me.  you do it every year and i'm sick on it.  next year, it's just me and santa.  i'm forcing mom to cut you out of the family.}

{1-2-3... ruuuuuuuuuuun!!!}

{this kid could be jet li's baby.}

{i'm less concerned with the crying kids and more concerned with this santa's jet black, bushy eyebrows.}

{now THIS guy looks like santa.}

{you looking at ME, old man...??}

{little boy: girls.  always effing everything up.  i get dressed in my clip-on tie and mr. rogers sweatervest, and she has to go and pull this when i'm over here looking fly.}

{little girl: you put me in my favorite tutu skirt and heels for this sh*t, mom!!!  i'm not even a teenager yet, and i already hate you!!!}

{is it just me or do santa and little suzie look totally drunk??}