Thursday, January 28, 2010

news you can use #7: country's status, pregnant man, octomom in bikini, cool shit, man with 44 lizards in his pants



state of da union.  the p.o.t.u.s. gave his state of the union address last night.  i have to ask, did you watch vice pres joe biden during the speech??  joe, with his flawless veneers and hair plugs, cracks me up.  i seriously can't help but love the guy for all the things he shouldn't be doing or saying in public.  he tried to clap at the weirdest, most awkward times, and he kept smiling at moments where you shouldn't have been smiling, and he kept playing with his tie.  he did have a great tie.




{"yo B!  B.O.!  you want me to do the jack nicholson impression now??  i can divert their attention away from our shitty economy!  now??  okay!"}


second pregnant man.  scott moore and his husband, thomas, were both born female and underwent sex changes.  scott's now expecting and is due with a baby boy next month.  don't believe me?  you think i'd lie to you?  you can read about it here.


{is it just me or does that teddy bear in the corner really freak you out??  oh, wait the teddy bear's the least of my worries in this picture... scott, on the left, looks like an overgrown baby.}


octomom in a bikini!  say whaaaaat?!?  yep, octomom herself is frolicking around in a bikini saying she did it all without surgery.  allegedly.  you know what i say to that: LIAR!  there is no freaking way she had eight babies all up in her pikachu canal stretching her out!  and she wants to say she DIDN'T have surgery?!?!??  if she's spittin' the truth, then she is seriously a freak of nature and i'm sorry for calling her a liar.


{octomom in all her octo glory.}



{octocrazy now.  all i gotta say is: IN.SANE.  where did all that extra skin go??}


{you think the paris-nicole debaucle was bad.  you ain't seen nothin' yet!  THIS is the ultimate smackdown!!}


cool shit that i wish i invented. 


{i could hide store so much shit!}


{problem with singing into you loofa now SOLVED.}


{it's about damn time.  there's an ipod deck for everything, everywhere in the house.  it's about time the bathroom stopped being the neglected room in the house.}


man caught with 44 lizards in his pants.  i really truly don't understand my fellow homo sapien species sometimes.  honestly.  a german man was at an airport in new zealand when he was caught hiding 44 geckos in a hand-sewn pouch concealed in his underwear.  (wtf???)  he was sentenced to prison in new zealand for stealing the country's protected species.  once again, don't believe me?  fact check me here.


{he's lucky he didn't have 44 of these in his underoos...}

44 comments:

Kelly @ Dare to be Domestic said...

I love the ipod ipoodock! Too funny. The prego "man" just wigs me out. And you're right I kept looking at Joe B last night thinking WTH are you smiling about? Why are you trying to clap? WHAT THE HECK JUST SIT THERE! (he was very distracting... him and the Jersey Shore-esque "AHHHH OHH'S" going on in the background. lol

Cathy said...

I love the Biden pics...so funny!

Pregnant lady/man....wahoidngsd????!!!

Octomom-those pics of her pregnant belly always make me naseous. The bikini body is clearly the result of surgery.

Stair storage=awesome!!

Summer said...

I freaking LOVED this post!

Oh my word, Octomom is totes lying.

And those stairs...yes please!

A Real Housewife said...

o.m.g. pic of the two "men"--creepiest pic ever. and isn't that all a little ass backwards anyways? why would two women become men, then date each other? am i missing something....

AJ said...

I don't know what to say.

I really don't. Holy crap.
1. wait. what? What is up with the pregnant man... I thought she/he wanted to be a MAN!?
2. Octomom is a freaking LIAR... look at her belly button it's all stretched out and besides, she has already proven that she's a liar. JS
3. I am a big fan of the sponge microphone. LOL I need one of those! LOL

Marian said...

Every time I see Octomom's stomach I get faint. That thing is HUGEEEE!!!! Like, how could she possibly be standing up...wouldn't you just tip over?!?!

And that stair storage. When I buy a house one of the requirements must be that

Meagan@Megs7827 said...

LOL!!! I am clicking that link to the preggo man and sending it to Hubby asap. No way to octomom not have surgery. Love those stairs! Totally going to put those in my future dream house with the pictures with eyes cut out and trap doors.

saltsays said...

You had me at "44 lizards in his pants".

Why does Mr. Sponge Microphone have his glasses on in the shower? What a moron.

B-Dub said...

I totes called out Joey B in my blog today for the SAME crap!!!
http://bethanywenger.blogspot.com/2010/01/state-of-my-union.html

For serious! Another preggers man. Do you think he is into breastfeeding? That poor baby. Man boobs are gross, and he has quite a pair!

Octo-scary is full of shit. I only had two punks and the stretch marks took YEARS to fade. Surgery? yes. What I wanna know is can I be next?

Bathwater said...

That pregnant guy looks like he married his twin. I wonder if he will get a bikini cut C-section?

That stair storage drawer is really cool! I would get that! I would have them all the way up the stairs!

foxy said...

Okay, I'm not believe that octomom shit either. Like there's NO WAY she didn't have some kind of help. There's NO WAY that's from working out alone. And when would she have all that time to work out anyway, she has a whole freaking litter of babies!? WTF??

Oh, and those stair drawers are cool. And that preggo man/woman/whatever couple is just plain weird.

"Julie" said...

i legit almost just threw up bc of the prego man, octomom's DISGUSTING ASS pic, and the lizard pic....vom vom vom....

i need that microphone loofah...NOW

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Barring the fact that the pic of the 2 men is just freaky, I MUST give props to them for actually looking like men!! They really do. Not all women to men (and especially not men to women) look that real.

Hallie

Shandal said...

1.Pregnant man=EW
2.Octomom=Liar Ew
3.Love the drawer in the stairs!
4.I can't sing worth a crap, and it just hurts my throat. So the sponge mic doesn't interest me at all. LOL
5.I'm like the only person on the planet who doesn't have an iPod... I know. But if I had one, that iPod deck invention is pretty cool!

Ashley said...

This post had me cracking up from start to finish.
That drawer in the stairs... I just may have to get me one! Or six! :)

And, um, why would those ladies want to become such fat ugly men? Couldn't they become, like, hot, sexy men? Or is that just my thought process...?

jv726 said...

My question to Octomom would be 'If you didnt have surgery where did all those stretch marks go?" B/c I am 100% certain those things DO NOT just disappear! Shes a liar...
Love your posts! They make me laugh :)

Allyson said...

OMG Meredith...this post was awesome!! I do heart Joe. God bless 'em. And I was trying to figure out what he was in a purple tie...trying to match Nancy P. or is he colorblind and legitimately thought he was sportin the colors of the U.S of A?? Neal could NOT stop with the commentary - every time Joe started to clap, but stopped, Neal started back up again.

Can I say that it sort of warms my soul that Kate shops at Dick's and Octomom shops at Target (which is the new WalMart by the way. Child beatings will resume shortly). Just a tiny bit of normalcy is nice.

I've got a lizard in my pants!
~That's what he said.

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

Ok, I need to buy the sponge for Jason like yesterday.

I had to re-read the pregnant man thing over a few times. So they were BOTH born women. And they are obviously attracted to men, which in theory makes them straight. But they change to be men so now they are gay. Men. Having a baby.

This hurts my brain.

my name is lauren. said...

oh my gosh!

laughing hysterically!

and....am i the only one wondering...

where the heck did octomom's belly button go? what the heck happened to it? that ish is NOT normal.

Michelle Hoad said...

No way in hell did she not have some kind of surgery. I only had one baby at a time and I look like a road map of down town Hong Kong. Granted, I had a bazillion kids, but only one at a time.

jessalyn said...

you know i don't speak politics, so all i got out of that was hair plugs and jack nicholson. and i am totally down with those things, so that is cool.
i vom at that octo pic. like bigtime.
i need the stair storage. think my big hooker heels would fit in there though??
also, i had a good friend who was a girl in high school and is now a boy...it confuses me a little. i will just leave it at that. whatever floats your boat, right? sure...

Elizabeth Marie said...

Anytime I see octomom my vagina screams and shuts down. Gahh.

The loofa mic?! hahaha!

Ams said...

Pregnant man... oh my word. So scary!
The lizards... what is up with that?
Octomom... I just have no CLUE how she can look like that. Apparently she said her body just bounces back. Ummmm... after that many children, I don't think a body can just "bounce back"!

Mad Woman said...

The gecko story? Totally TRUE! And that's from your resident New Zealander.

There is NO WAY OctoMom didn't have surgery. No fruitin' way!!

bananas. said...

So wait...a woman gets a sex change to be a man only to fall in love with another woman turned man?! So confusing! Well, that'll be a fun "how i met your mother/father" story.

Rasha said...

WOW...t hat lady with the belly is HUGE

and the 2 he/shes... ummm sick.

Ed Adams said...

Funny.

Damn! Octomom looks HOT!

I wonder if she'd like a couple more kids.

Kiera said...

dude, meredith, this is hands down your best post everrrr. Where do you find this stuff? I have so much to comment on and now I forget. and there aint no turnin back.

Aimee said...

Oh God....there are so many things in this post that freak me out...but I'm thinking the worst is definitely the teddy bear in the corner of that photo. Ugh.

x
Aimee

mommara said...

Where do you find this stuff. Haha it is always a great giggle when I come here. LOve It!

Kelsey @ Seattle Smith's said...

I think the stairs that pull out are FAN-TABULOUS!!!!

Karls said...

Are you sure that man isn't just suffering from major beer gut? I can't believe he was ever a she!

Octomum is a bitch! I don't look that good and I haven't squeezed out a single puppy... Hmmmm... perhaps I too am suffering from a beer baby.

Those stairs? Why didn't I think of that!

ScoMan said...

Joe Biden sounds a lot like Prince Phillip. Poor Phillip is always saying inappropriate things or just not following what is happening around him. But it amuses the rest of us.

I want a iPod dock in the bathroom now. I don't have one in the living room yet, but the bathroom can be the first room in the house, because it requires it most. You can't wear earplugs in there.

nicole addison said...

hey hun! just wanted to drop by and let you know you won the giveaway on my blog:) email me your shipping info and all that and we'll get the neckalce out to you! xo:)

Erin said...

Pelosi was distracting me during Obama's speech. And I thought Biden's tie was ugly! LOL!

As for Octo mom, you can't tell me she didn't have a lil' Nip Tuck. Seriously. That is just not possible.

And the 1st preggo man story freaked me out, as does this. I feel sorry for the kids. I mean, I am pretty open-minded and stuff (hello, my dad is gay, so is my brother-in-law), but this is just strange. Or is it just me?!?!

MCW said...

That pregnant man is weird. At least he just looks fat and not really pregnant.

Lindsey said...

Seriously, where does all that extra skin go?!

That one girl said...

Okay, you are so not a liar, Octomom is a nut case and of course she had surgery. She HAD to. That girl is so far off her rocker, I feel bad for her army of children.

AND, what is up with lizard dude? I swear non-fiction is so much better than fiction.

Karena said...

Ok seriously, my kid was over 11 frickin pounds and I have done everything from personal trainer to starving myself and yes, I got skinny, but I've discovered that ONLY surgery will help my 80 year old woman's stomach. She is definitely a lying liar who lies and her belly button looks JUST like those of people with tummy tucks. I've done the research.

Oliviology said...

Why is octomom sans stretch marks and where can I sign up for such a successful birth and workout plan?

Krista said...

Alright, here we go.,.
#1. I'm waiting for the banana bread recipes.
#2. How in the hell did you fall upon my dumb little mommy blog?
#3. I think your dog looks like a bi-racial "Bolt" (Disney movie, again, dumb mommy blogger)
#4. When I read your profile, I think I peed my pants a little.
#5. I've decided we're going to be BFF's.

hotpants™ said...

Octomom is liar.

hotpants™ said...

I'm so mad at her lying that I can't type. She is A liar.

Aunt Juicebox said...

No. Stretch marks don't go away without help, ever. They may fade from purple/red to silver, but the lines remain. So either she's lying, or the magazine airbrushed her stretch marks away.
If I had stairs in my home, those would be awesome!