surprise!!!!! i'm a mommy!!!!

i know, i know... you didn't even know i was expecting.  well, neither did i.  no, this isn't like a story from an episode of TLC's "i didn't know i was pregnant" (although, i do love that show, by the way).  and i didn't exactly give birth.  i adopted... a twelve pound, five month old, white and brindle colored boston-jack russell terrier mix and she's adorable!!!  at first she was sweet and timid and never barked or cried - but now that she has tons of love and toys, she's a little wild woman!!  a wild woman who can jump five feet high!!

{meet bailey}

"ed hardy wine: it probably tastes like douche bag"

some lines from my conversation with jules last night:

{background: she recently met a british guy who she's become friendly with, but can't read him, and she wants advice.}

julie: "yeah, i really don't understand him.  a friend i work with tells me there's such a big cultural difference and it only gets worse when they get older.  not sure what the hell that means?  does that mean they don't text or call for a week when they're busy??"

--

--

julie: "i just got to the grocery store and get this, they have ed hardy wine.  it probably tastes like douche bag."

--

--

me: "so have you decided what you're doing for thanksgiving?  you can def come over.  my dad's in germany for work (swiss don't celebrate thanksgiving, obvs), so it'll be me, my mom, my little brother and sister, my grandparents, and four of my cousins.  let me know."

julie: "yeah, that sounds good.  we may stop by.  we have some family from mexico coming in for the sole purpose of going shopping. weird, i know."

me: "is your grandma coming?"

julie: "no, she's convinced she's dying.  she's in perfect health, but everytime i talk to her and ask her how she's doing, she tells me she's going to die tomorrow.  when i ask her why she thinks that, she tells me she's been drooling a little bit, so she knows she's going to die soon.  i told her that's just what old people do - they drool."

me: "really?  why?"

julie: "i don't know, i guess because all of the wrinkles??"

--

--

i love my friends.

happy happy thanksgiving!!!

it's time to DTR.

i decided after about a month of blogging, there are some important things you should know about me and we should have the DTR chat.  this is part one of a series of DTR talks.  so, here goes:

- i kill bugs with febreeze air freshener because i hate the smell of raid.  the larger the bug, the more febreeze it requires to kill them.  please note when trying this at home: there are some bugs that will not die with febreeze.  i once used almost an entire can of febreeze air effects for a spider and the damn thing refused to die.  my condo did smell like crisp clean linen for a few days after, however.

- i was born with an extra thumb.  yes, that means i had eleven fingers.  no, i am not a freak.  it was removed when i was a baby.  i have a scar, but there have only been three people ever to notice it.  one of those people was the lady doing my nails, so it was obvious.

- i hate waiting in lines to check out and traffic.  guess this means i'm impatient.

- i played soccer since i was seven, competitive soccer since i was ten, and at the collegiate level.  i miss it a lot and so do my abs.  oh, and i miss being hawaiian tropic tan from being outside year-round.

- i watch HGTV like it's my effing job.  i also love anything law, medical, or crime-related.

- my biological father's italian, but i was adopted when i was eighteen by my step-dad who is swiss-german.  my mom apparently has a thing for foreign men and wants to ensure that her children have dual citizenship.  thanks, mom.

- my mom's my best friend, in part because she's even crazier than i am so she understands me.  God put her on earth to be a mother, and she's the best at it.  she keeps me sane a lot of the time.  i'm a mini-me version of her.  she's 5'9 and i'm barely 5'4.

- i am a Christian.

- i'm OCD.  seriously.  ask quasi-bf (he's got his own obsessive-compulsive tendencies) and my besties.  i am also ridiculously organized and love my color-coded closet.  i also have a picture on all of my shoe boxes with the shoes in them.

- i have lots of food allergies, and they seem to be getting worse the older i get.  (no, i cannot simply "take a magic pill for them to go away."  sorry, it's always irritating when people say, "can't you just take something??"  to which i respond, "well, no, it's not a headache.  if i stop breathing and go into anaphylaxis, stab me with my epi-pen and call 911.")

- i love to read.  if i could read for a living, i would. 

- i like the previews at the movie theater.  i instantly become a movie critic.

- i once accidentally superglued my teeth together along with supergluing my arm to my face.  i had dug into my mom's purse and started chewing on a tube.  gotta love the 80s nails.

- i do not have even an ounce of shyness in me.  this is not always a good thing.

- i love live music.  but i manage daily with pandora or bringing my ipod everywhere i go.

- i could never date or end up with a guy who wasn't an athlete.  college tuition is expensive, so my kids better be really smart and/or really athletic.  i plan on creating division I athletes.  (note: i said this to some co-workers and they were appalled that i would "force" my kids to be smart or play sports. i wouldn't "force" them, i would highly encourage them. sorry, i think organized sports are the best thing for kids.  it teaches them discipline and accountability as well a healthy lifestyle.)

- i currently have my previously unhealthy obsession with twilight under control.  i think it's in part due to the fact that while new moon was good, it wasn't omgthisisthebestmovieofmyeffinglife good.

- i have some amazing friends who always have my back.

- quasi-bf and i both have "passes."  my passes: gerard butler and rob pattinson.

until part two of the DTR chat... happy tuesday!

nice booty. great sole.

so i keep seeing all these sexy commercials for the new sculpting and toning tennis shoes from reebok, called easy tone.  per the advertisement, they're supposed to give you a "nice booty and great sole."  not kidding.  it's on the website.  and while i'm all for great thighs and a great butt, my whole thing is: 1. do they work??  and 2. since they look so stupid, they better work.  do any of you know??  (or should i say, do any of y'all know? i am from texas.)  i don't know anyone who owns them or who has tried them to know for sure.

i mean, i know the kardashians wear them, but how much is that really saying... i'd wear them with work clothes if they paid me.

and then there all these other mega-ass-shaping shoes like the fitflops or the NGR shoes (NGR = no gym required, in case you were wondering).

they even have some stylish hott-ass-shaping trendy just-below-the-knee boots:

who would've thought boots could be so hot??

someone please buy them and tell me if they work.  i don't want to be the first.

---

in other news, i finally got a flat screen tv, a blue ray player, and a play station.  well, actually it was an early christmas present from the quasi-bf.  really, i think it was kind of more of a present for him.  my living room tv was the same tv that fell on my little brother's head when he was a toddler.  (long story, but the gist: he really liked watching the old star trek.  when the intro music would come on he would stand there after just getting out of the bath stark naked with his hands on the screen dancing mesmorized.  my mom would always tell him not to touch the tv.  naturally, he didn't listen and the big tv fell on him, mainly on his head.  my mom still blames the tv falling on his head for my brother's lapses in judgment.) anyways, welcome to 2010, meredith.

---

happy monday and thanksgiving week!

just to get you excited: 12:01 a.m. baby

{omfg}

{wearing a helmet since bella rides a motorcycle.  duh.}

"baby it's cold in.siiiiiiiiiide!!"

for the life of me i cannot figure out why it is 50 degrees outside and my office is 66 degrees with the a/c still going.  my fingers, toes, and face are all so cold i can hardly work.  it hurts to type, so i hope you can see what great lengths i am going to right now.  i keep complaining that it's so cold in here and my assistant keeps disagreeing saying how "delightfully comfortable(!)" she is in the office today; for once, i'm not hot, she says.  and another thing i can't figure out is how day in and day out it's so frigidly cold indoors (even in the summer) that i've had to bring blankets and slip on socks under my desk (i even have those hands warmers used for camping) and then - after seeing me wrapped in my cheetah print fleece blanket wearing socks and sometimes gloves INSIDE - people make these assinine remarks like, meredith, why don't you put a little meat on your bones?  maybe if you gained weight, you wouldn't be cold.  these comments are usually followed up by nudging me in the ribs and deep chuckles.  irritating, check.  let me just say, i'm not overly thin or too skinny.  (in fact, sarah at a life more exciting has a theory that there's not such a thing as being "too skinny."  her fiance disagrees.  sarah happens to be tall-ish and skinny and kind of resembles a spider monkey.  she has good reach.  she's the kind of person i bother in the grocery store when i need something on the top shelf near the back.  sorry, i digress.)  anyways, my point is, i don't need to gain weight, it's called being effing HEALTHY!  in an ideal world, people would stop making stupid comments like that and i would save my company energy and money all while being green and turn up the temperature ten a few degrees.  unfortunately, my office world isn't ideal when it comes to comfort.

on a better note, i received a 30% off entire purchase coupon for ann taylor loft in my inbox this morning; new moon is just two short nights away (i'm really beginning to question whether or not it is good judgment to see it opening night...); and thanksgiving is next week.

the natural order of things

let me preface this entry by saying "i.love.christmas."  freaking love it.  i love everything about it.  well, maybe not everything... there is one thing about the christmas season that kind of bothers me - people who start the christmas season a good six-eight weeks in advance and DECORATE THEIR ENTIRE FREAKING YARDS AND HOUSES when it's just barely the middle of november and thanksgiving hasn't even come and gone.  i love christmas more than most and even i feel this is a bit premature.  this weekend i noticed a handful (albeit a small handful, but still a handful) of houses with FULL festive decorations and holiday cheer - they even put up their freakin' christmas tree!  no pumpkins, no fall leaves, no blow-up turkeys adorning their yards - just santas and rudolphs.  i'm ALL FOR holiday cheer and i LOVE, LOVE, LOVE decorating for christmas and listening to christmas music and consuming christmas goodies that do not contain milk or soy because i'm allergic to both, but i'm all for it starting the weekend after thanksgiving.  seriously, the pilgrims and indians (ahem, i mean "native americans") deserve their due, too.

i kind of feel like going directly from halloween straight to christmas - skipping thanksgiving - kind of ruins the whole natural order of things.  and i love order.  thanksgiving is the precursor to a thankful holiday season, duh.

 {1. we are best friends}

{2. this should be done the day or weekend AFTER thanksgiving}

countdown: t-3ish days...

{if you're wondering why bella and jake are missing from this movie poster, it's because there's only one character here that really matters and he's bearing his chest for your enjoyment.}

i will not be ashamed.  i will be at the 12:01 a.m. showing of new moon on thursday night.  i may or may not be wearing the cullen family crest as a bracelet, ring, and/or necklace.  and i may or may not have celebrated a mid-20 something birthday yesterday.

stuart little's underwear

little sister [tells me goodbye and kisses me goodnight, then turns to my mom and says]: mom, i need new panties, mine are getting a little too small for me.

mom: really?  okay, santa will get you some for christmas.

little sister: MOM!!  oh my gosh, seriously?!  i have two things to say: 1. that's inappropriate and weird for santa to pick out panties for me, and 2. i need new panties NOW.  it's not a gift, it's a necessity. [she's 10 years old, by the way, people and she actually talks like this.]

me: [cracking up] little sis, why don't you just start wearing the kind of panties i wear?  i'll get you some tomorrow during my lunch break and bring them to mom's house.

little sister: umm, meredith, stuart little wears bigger underwear than you.  no, thanks.

loving some fall cardigans

right now, i'm loving me some cardigans.  particularly ones like:

ann taylor loft

ann taylor loft

banana republic

j.crew

j.crew

j. crew 

 

anthropologie

i clearly like ruffles.

creeping creepies on facebook

so i'm being a good and productive employee busy slaving away minding my own business at the office on a monday afternoon when all of a sudden my phone lights up like fort knox with a series of texts messages that say this:

best friend from college: holy sh*t, have you seen facebook lately?  you have a total creeper after you.  some girl from the new york, ny network has her profile picture of you and santiago (ex-boyfriend from college) and an album full of pictures of you guys!!!

[15 seconds later]...

ex-boyfriend from college: so mer, we're apparantly famous... go check out sandra (insert last name) from new york, ny.

so i did what any normal person would do and dropped everything i was working on to tend to this serious matter.  i went and checked this chick out and sure enough, there we were in all our pride and glory with her profile pic being a photo of santiago and i from my 22nd birthday.  seriously, that's not even a good picture, c'mon creeper, you could have picked a better one, geez, i thought.  i mean if my face was going to be plastered all over some random creeper creeperson's facebook page, i'd rather it be a damn good one.

santi's girlfriend somehow came across and reported it, so we'll see what happens.  if you're lucky, it might still be up.  in short, i'm famous folks.

nola

here's where i'll be the next couple of days:

don't worry, i plan on bringing back t-shirts for all of you:

completely unrelated, but both exciting: elections and r.patz

yesterday was a crazy election day, so i was MIA in the blogsphere.  fortunately, all of the candidates we endorsed made the runoff (not that you care, but i thought i'd let you know because it basically means our members are happy and i still have a job - that you should care about).

so here's what i was doing from 7:00 a.m. - 7:00 p.m.:

and here were some of the other crazies also doing poll work:

and i'm not talking about the major league baseball team.  the texas rangers are a watchdog anti-tax group in the one, the only: tejas.  there was this old couple (like in their 70s) doing some poll work and singing songs to the people going to vote.  it was weird and uncomfortable and they didn't even have horses.

one quick plug - runoff elections are december 12th.  if you're in the city of houston, vote gene locke for mayor.  just do it.

let's see, on to the news that made my week.  one of my best friends just purchased new moon tickets for the 12:01 a.m. show.  yes, it's true.  a group of mid-20 somethings are going to be standing in line filling a crowded theater with a bunch of obsessed tweenie-boppers and i love it and i'm not going to apologize.  julie from life on a hanger is gonna be there to.  it's going to be epic.

i keep telling myself i probably wouldn't really like him in real life. 

at least that's what i tell myself to quell the obsession.

weekend recap and weekly update

friday: let's see... after work i hit an awesome sale at ann taylor loft and stocked up on some cute v-neck cardigans - an article of clothing i'm convinced you can never have too many of.  it was the little brother's senior night at his football game so quasi-bf and i head out to the boonies to the nicest stadium in the burbs.  my brother's team played the #1 team in the district and were winning until the last two minutes of the game.  we lost, but it was probably one of the best games of the season.

saturday: happy halloween!  spent the day running errands as i do most saturdays; went running because it was a beautiful day; and then planned for the evening ahead.  i'm not insanely obsessed with halloween like i used to be.  in college, i'd plan my costume months in advance.  not so much anymore, though i do still enjoy it.  my mom was giving her testimony at church then there was a trunk-or-treat halloween party at church with tons of give-aways and good candy (not the crappy kind some people give out).  my little sister made out like a freakin' bandit with a lawn bag full of goodies.  apparantly church party are the way to go.  later i went home and watched the world series until quasi-bf came over.  we were super unoriginal and i wore my high school nationals cheerleading uniform and he wore a high school football jersey and we met julie from life on a hanger out at a party.  i haven't grown much since i was 14.  we called it a night before 2:00 a.m.

sunday: slept in since i went to church the night before and managed to lay around until noon.  my pantry and fridge were looking bare so i forced myself to go to the grocery store.  if you've read my post about grocery shopping, you know how much i HATE grocery shopping.  1. i hate crowds and playing grocery bumper carts with people taking their sweet time and 2. carts have tons of germs on them so i have to lysol/clorox wipe them down and them wrap them in produce plastic bags.  (yes, i know i have issues; so i've been told.)  since halloween was the day before and people were busy, everyone and there families decided to make it an outing - i could hardly manuever my cart around and needless to say i was not a happy camper.  1.5 hours and $109.73 later, i made it out.  i had a soccer game that evening and found out just as the quasi-bf and i were pulling up to the fields that the game was cancelled so we made it a shopping, dinner, and world series game 4 night.  my phillies lost.  :(

the agenda for the rest of the week...

tuesday: it's a big day in the city of houston tomorrow as we're electing our new mayor, new city controller, twelve of the fourteen city council seats are up for re-election, and some constitutional amendments are up for vote as well.  this means that i'll be doing the glamourous work of polling from 7 a.m. - 7 p.m. tomorrow.  merrhhh.

wednesday: preparing for run-offs after election day.  so basically complete mayhem.

thursday - saturday: off to new orleans for a conference!