Wednesday, February 10, 2010

olympic man and honest crap

i have meagan at  megs7827 for this olympian man award.  this award is timely as the winter olympics start on friday.  in canada.  where twilight eclipse was filmed.  just a little interesting factoid for you.  all my canadian lovers out there say "whaaaat!  whaaaat!" 




and ashley at raising brats (who is adorable and precious and has an army man hubby and three gorgeous rugrats and you should totally read her blog) is totally down with my honest scrap.  or is it honest crap?  i like honest crap better.  i just changed the name of the award.  the award-maker probably won't like that, but whatevs.  it suits me better for the crap i write is indeed honest.  like abe.  whose birthday is this friday, by the way.  and the olympics start on friday.  the syllogism and parallels of the post are amazing.



now i'm supposed to tell you interesting facts about me that you may not know.  some of you may know some or all of these, so just go with it.  if you know these already, pretend like you don't and act excited.  thanks.  i'm trying to kind of follow rules for once.

1. i could never be on a show like the bachelor and let me tell you why.  other than having to fight 25 other bitches to get to one single man who i probably really won't even like that much... the reason for this is because they are always drinking WINE.  have you noticed that??  like every single date revolves around wine.  so i'd be sitting out there like a total outcast and probably get kicked off the show.  i've never had a glass of wine in my life, yet i own lots of wine glasses.  even the trendy stemless ones that impress my friends.  but if i could drink wine, i would.  believe me.  all you bitches out there are such wino-s and are constantly bragging about all the delicious wine you love.  it makes me kind of jealous.

2. i am decently fluent in french.  this fact does not come in handy in texas.  at all.  we do not share a border with france, we share a border with mexico, and let me tell you, they do not speak french.

3. i have a tiny, tiny birthmark (i think it's a birthmark) on my left index finger which is shaped like the continent of south america.  this must mean i was supposed to be south american.  and this explains why people think i habla espanol(for you northerners that's spanish for "speak spanish.")

4. i played soccer since i was seven years old and played in college.  my collegiate experience wouldn't have been what it is had it not been for college sports.  (i miss it something awful.)

5. i love q-tips.  i don't know why, but i love them and thank whoever invented them.  they have over 1,000 uses for sure, and you don't realized how much you love them until you run out.  if you don't like q-tips, then you probably have nasty, dirty ears.

6. i love to snowboard.  preferably in the swiss alps.  shaun white ain't got nothing on me.

i'm passing BOTH of these awards onto these lucky gals because of their olympic man spirit and honest crap:

if you're not following these broads, you're missing out.

and one more thing... GIVEAWAY ends today at noon!!

36 comments:

Marian said...

I probably couldn't be on the Bachelor either because I'd beat a bitch up for flirting with my man;) bahahhahahah. However, I would totally rock it on the Amazing Race!!

Meagan@Megs7827 said...

You should write a blog about your 1,000 uses for q tips.

bananas. said...

You don't drink wine? Do you not like it or are you allergic? Well, i love wine but i could never be on the bachelor. A) the guy is always too douchey for me. Cute yes but gayish too. B) i hate bitches so to be surrounded by so many at one time is torture. I'd walk out even before meeting the douche.

The Only Girl said...

Please provide pictures of said birthmark in your next post so we can discuss *mwah!*

Mrs Montoya said...

I can't imagine why French doesn't come in handy in Texas! That cracked my ass up :) And I love Q Tips, too. My fav is to use it to "touch up" my eye makeup when I am too lazy for a whole do over. They are magic!!

~KS said...

Congrats on your awards!!! So well deserved... and loved the fun facts. I have a birthmark (not so tiny, but not big either) on the top of my rib cage, under my chest (nice placement... ugh). Anyway, my mom always told me when I was little and would ask what it was that God just spilled some chocolate milk on me by accident... I seemed to by that.
And now I am off to check out these ladies' blogs... so excited!!

Stacy said...

You know Meredith, Q-Tips can be dangerous and you're not TECHNICALLY supposed to use them for your ears. So says my Dad - the Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor. Emphasis on EAR since that's his specialty. I've been taught never to use a Q-Tip, and I actually go see my Dad once or twice a year for a "professional" ear cleaning - that I also get to see enlarged on the little TV screen in his office. Super exciting! Not. But he uses special tools and gets all the wax out and checks my ear drums and all that jazz. Don't be TOO jealous. Haha.

SG said...

I love watching the hot mess that is the Bachelor. I think the reason that the relationships never work out is due to the fact that after filming stops they all sober up and realize they all suck.

hotpants™ said...

No matter how many times I try it, I don't like wine. I'd rather have a margarita.

Rasha said...

yay congrats to you!

Elizabeth said...

Seriously I went without Q-tips for a month, and gross what collects in there. I also use them for dusting out my sewing machines...brilliant inventions, I agree :)

Bathwater said...

I think I will make an award just to see how far the damn thing travels. I'm going to call it pass this award on like an STD award.

foxy said...

Oh girl, I am FEELING THE LOVE! Thank you ever so much!

I can tolerate qtips for ear cleaning, obvs, but i HATE cotton balls. I can't touch them. The feel of them TOTALLY skeeves me out. Weird, huh?

A Real Housewife said...

why can't you drink wine? q-tips are the total shiznit. no dirty ears here.

Ashley said...

I'm such a va-jay-jay. I went skiing once, fell a ton, got really good, fell one last time and thought I broke my back, and now I refuse to go again just in case I might fall again and get paralyzed. Total va-jay-jay, I know. :-/
And thanks! I am kind of adorable, aint I? ;)

P.S. I don't get why its not already called "Honest Crap". I think thats what they meant, but I've been calling it Honest Crap too. Great minds...

amy kelinda said...

I'm so jealous of your French capabilities! I wish I spoke French. I took it in college and nothing stuck, haha! Also, I hear you on the q-tip love!

Confessions From A Working Mom said...

What? Your French skills aren't handy in Texas? I'm shocked :)

Thanks for the comment today-- I think we'd have watched movies on our bedroom tv too... had the VCR actually worked!

~Elizabeth
Confessions From A Working Mom

Stacy said...

Oh and you know what? I speak a little German since I used to live in Switzerland - I lived in a tiny suburb called Wetzikon which is in Zurich. Anyhoo, that almost never comes in handy here. Except for this one time when an international company called my office and the guy was from somewhere in that region..I got to say "ein kleine bisschen" when he asked me if I spoke German. That means "a little bit." SUPER EXCITING!

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

Let's go snowboarding together in the Alps. Because we are cool like that. I'll bring my 7 year old son and he will bomb down the hill twice as fast as us, because HE is actually cool like that.

♥Aubrey said...

We can be the outcasts together hun...i too don't drink wine. I can't stand the stuff :)-
O and Q-tips...i'm totally obsessed with cleaning my ears and do so everyday even though you're not suppose to. Hahaha...it feels good to have clean ears.

Summer said...

An award for MOI????

I am so honored...from you especially! =)

MWA!

saltsays said...

Hooray! This made my totally powerless day so much better! (We just got our electricity back like a half hour ago.) You are a wonderful person. :)

Ummm I also love Q-Tips. I use them for absolutely everything, my ears... my makeup... did you know they make cleaning behind faucet fixtures on the bathroom sink SO much easier?

Yankee Girl said...

I love that you couldn't be on The Bachelor because of the wine drinking. The reason is the best one I have heard so far!

brooke said...

OH LADY!!!!! thank you for the award!!! and i am with you on the wine...i can drink it but i just don't like it...i try to like it! oh how i would LOVE to love to love it...cause i love the smell of it...i just can't stand the taste...maybe someday...

and your number 2 had me laughing out loud seriously!!! that is hilarious! being that i am from phoenix, az i hear ya!

jessalyn said...

oh good. now i have 14 unaccepted awards to address. oh wait- there is two here, so 15. awesome. just kidding- thank you for the blog love, my bestie.
i never learned to snowboard because i owned skis, and i was afraid i would heart snowboarding more and then want a snowboard and my skis would be useless. so i just stuck with what i knew. you could teach me though. or surferkid sounds like he might be a good teacher too.

Christin said...

I love your comment about the Bachelorette! Too funny!

Ams said...

It's funny, because while I DO drink wine... I always think about all those folks who dont. What about them? Is it on the list when you apply - you HAVE to like drinking wine? I want a margarita... or some shots of tequila! (Can you imagine the trouble that some of those girls would get in had they been offered tequila?? haha)

The Batcave said...

totally unrelated but me and my bff both have dogs that are part bat too! and possibly part alien.

Karls said...

Other than the fact I'm already married, I too wouldn't go on the Bachelor due to my raging drinking. I'd be the pissed one slurring their words, being totally inappropriate and giving unwanted advice to the other bitches.

Tracie said...

Congrats! I couldn't be on the Bachelor because I'm old. :)

Ed Adams said...

Congrats on your awards.

Allyson said...

If you're anti-wine because you don't like the taste, may I suggest the Franzia Chillable Red boxed wine? It's like $5 for 5 liters and it tastes like grape juice. You like grape juice don't you?? Now...if you don't drink wine because you currently attend AA meetings or it sends you into anaphylactic shock, forget everything I just said. There's always vodka. Congratulations on your awards. I am hoping to one day land the Honest Scrap award. It reminds me of Rosie the Riveter, who is SOOO me.

Carol {Everyday Delights} said...

I am so with you, Q-tips are so handy for everything!

ScoMan said...

I think Q-tips are a female thing. I can't think of a situation where I've ever needed one.

But then guys clean theirs ears with their car keys.. we make do with what we have without that fancy stuff.

Aunt Juicebox said...

I took French for 6 years, and German for 3, and I can barely remember much of either of them.

I am Trish Marie said...

Wine is overrated. It gives you a wicked headache and makes for an emotional drunk. Or maybe that is just me.

Je parle aussi du francais. It is super benefical being the wife of the owner of a landscaping company in Texas. I should have taken Spanish.