Thursday, February 4, 2010

news you can use #8: the ga loves me, a snarky principal, a $104 mil man, a crematorium van, and a giveaway


i've got a couple new readers since last week, so let me give you newbies a little introduction of what thursdays look like around these parts.  some of you don't have time to or choose not to keep yourself in the know about important events.  no need to fear, in each edition of news you can use! i supply you with only the very best weekly news.  this news includes - but is not limited to - such important things as: world news, hollywood news, movie news, reality tv news, interesting and weird happenings news, things i happen to find important or freakishly cool news, and my news (aka - what's going on in my life news). i know. all really exciting shit.  so sit back, grab a cup of coffee or a glass of champagne and know you are will be more informed after reading this.

lady gaga gets a tattoo in honor of me.  well, actually she got a new tattoo after her grammy wins as a way of thanking her fans, so that means she got it for me since i'm her #1 stunna.  it's on her right forearm and it says "little monsters."  if you don't know what a little monster is, it's her special nickname she has for me.  she endearingly refers to her fans as "little monsters."  i guess that makes sense because i refer to the preschoolers in the sunday school class i teach as "little nugget faces."
{if you look very closely, it says: "love to my #1 fan, (flash)"}


principal in phoenix suspended over sarcastic letter.  this is not a joke.  you've seriously got to read this letter.  this is my kind of principal.  if you laugh while reading the principal's letter, i will not judge you.  this is a judgment free zone.  don't believe me?  i wouldn't either, but you can check out the article  and the letter for yourself.


sculpture sells for a record $104 million.  i almost bought it, but was like "ehhh, i don't really have anywhere to put it in my house" so i decided not to.  ha!  seriously, people who have that kind of dough to fork over for a sculpture - holy shiz.  insane.  apparently an anonymous donor called in and bid on alberto giacometti's life-size bronze sculpture, "l'homme qui marche I" ("walking man I").  maybe if it were covered in sparkly diamonds all over, it'd totes be worth it...
{my little brother once made a clay sculpture like this for our mom for mother's day when we he was little.  she still has it in her kitchen and it's head has been hot-glued back on it's body at least a dozen times.}


"crematorium vehicle.  stay 8 feet back."  i am 99.9% certain you couldn't have read the sign on the back of that van from looking at this picture. sorry. i was driving in the ghetto and it was raining and the previous light had just changed and i couldn't find my phone fast enough and i was turning left and the van was going right. i know - excuses, excuses.  BUT i still managed to get a picture at least.  let me tell you, i was terrified of having that back door of the van opening while i was behind it...


** don't forget to enter my giveaway going on through next wednesday, february 10th!! **

32 comments:

Bathwater said...

Actually I think the principal is pretty stupid either he did think his joke was funny and sent it home think the parents would think it humorous or he was stupid enough to think there was not someone in the office that hated him enough to send out the note "mistakenly" and get him fired and them advanced. Boy I wish my boss would right one of those notes to our customers!

MCW said...

That is the best letter ever. I am not gonna lie...When i taught I felt like writing letters just like this!

Summer {Bisfor...} said...

you crack me up! i almost bought it. lol.

Meredith Travels said...

Hilarious! I love the part about not bringing anything red or squishy (does this make me a bad person?).

Woooo Thursday which means tomorrow is FRIDAY which means the weekend is soon!!

saltsays said...

*art nerd alert*
I LOVE that Giacometti sculpture. He is one of my favorites. The Met in NYC has some of his pieces and I spent like an hour looking at them. I feel like I have a picture of a smaller version of that one somewhere.

*morbid weirdo alert*
And on to the crematorium vehicle...I really wish I knew what was in there or that I ever saw one of those driving around.

LOVE Ga's tat. She posted pics on Twitter. This is why you need Twitter.

Kelly @ Dare to be Domestic said...

I think I wanna hang out with that principal. It's like he can read my mind when it comes to people's children these days!

That is very cool of Gaga to get a tatt in honor of her grammys AND her fans, I mean HER BIGGEST FAN - you! I'm still excited over her performance with Elton John.

Stacy said...

Haha, it's a funny letter but I agree with Bathwater - pretty stupid! He should have known better.

Stacy said...

P.S. You don't know how much it means to me to be your favorite Jew! Hahaha. I'm KVELLING! Oy Vey!

jessalyn said...

that looks like my boss's hubby's van. i will let her know the thieves are putting it to good use.

Cee said...

One of my friends is a funeral director...I'm going to ask her if all crematorium vans require you to stay 8 feet back. or maybe yours was special?

Haddock said...

there is a connection there......tattoos and my latest post.

Meagan@Megs7827 said...

That letter from the principal is amazing! Every teacher thinks that they just don't write it in a letter and send it to the parents!

Organic Meatbag said...

Haaaa! that principal letter cracked me the hell up...yeah, now that is a guy that i have to admire...

I am Trish Marie said...

Oh happy unicorn love! That principal and I should be friends. For real. I can't tell you how many times I make fun of the peanut lunch table. If my kids brings peanut butter in their lunch THEY have to go sit at the special peanut table. What? If your kid needs to be far from peanuts, then send them to a special table. This isn't mean. This is practical. I don't ask you all to plug your kids' ears, because my kid is deaf.

meredith said...

hahah... what cracks me up about trish's comment is i am allergic to nuts... on flights, i just ask to be in a aisle where people will not be eating peanuts, otherwise i'm fine.

Strawberryblush said...

That letter had me and the hubs rolling. Too funny...

ScoMan said...

I love the principals letter. And I know a few teachers who I'm sending it to. That principal will be their new hero.

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

Love that principal! And where was that statue sold? We have that exact thing at a hospital around here.

Llama said...

I seriously cannot get over that letter! If that was real, he deserved to be fired! I know we would like to say things like that, but c'mon!!

MizzJ said...

haha that letter is funny but also unprofessional. No matter how tempting it may be, that principal should be taking the high road. That being said, it was otherwise all kinds of awesome!

Thanks for visiting my blog :)

Tracie said...

If that principal had a blog he wouldn't have written the letter. He could have done a snarky post instead.

Brown Girl said...

OMG that letter is hilarious! I can imagine teachers want to write those all the time!

sHp said...

LOVE your "News You Can Use"!!!! Let's plan a dance party and play ONLY Lady Gaga songs, okay?! I secretly love her, too!!! I want a bow hair headband sooooo bad. Guess I'll settle for blonde highlights and a bumpit! :) ha ha ha ha

Thank you, again, for keeping my daddy in your thoughts and prayers!!!!!

Ams said...

That was the most hysterical letter ever!! Seriously, I love that. And I totally laughed out loud!
And you know what? I was totally going to buy that sculpture too but I didn't want to spend so much on ONE thing you know? I'm looking for something just a *little* bit more expensive!!

Hahaha thanks for making me laugh today!!

B-Dub said...

LUVRE the letter. I want to meet this guy so I can shake his hand, and maybe give him a little smooch. More people like this in the world and we might just fix education!

Elizabeth Marie said...

That letter?! Ok not gonna lie, I'm super tired and I thought it said "meth"

BUT I read it again and I love htat man. haha

Elizabeth Marie said...

THAT MAN.


gooooooodnight. :)

Stacy said...

Don't have a heart attack, but.....this girl over at http://stephanywrites.blogspot.com has NEVER heard a Lady Gaga song!!!!! WHAAAAA!? I know. Take a deep breath.

Anyway, been meaning to ask you....why is your blog called flash pasteurized? Please explain! Perhaps in a new post?

Kristin said...

Crap, I saved up 103 mil and was working on the last few bucks for that statue. Just my luck.

Ashley said...

That letter definitely gave me a chuckle :)

Jules said...

I like this feature on your blog and I’m a huge Gaga fan too. I love that she refers to her fans as “little monsters”.

The math and field trip letters are hysterical. I’m sure many other teachers feel the same way.

I heard about that sculpture and the price that it went for is beyond me.

That crematorium vehicle is just plain creepy!

Shandal said...

Dang that letter is gutsy! That van freaks me out a little! :-O