there's something you should know about me: i hate going to the grocery store. (not as much as i hate cockroaches, but close.) it's weird because i absolutely love food and i love having a stocked pantry and refrigerator - i just despise the whole act of going to the grocery store. i don't know where this whole "i hate going to the grocery store" thing stems from. i think it's due in part to a myriad of factors. to name a few reasons: i work, so i seem to only be able to go to the grocery store when every other working person in my city of over 2.2 million can go to the grocery store which means i'm in for a crowded shopping experience; i don't like touching or pushing grocery carts; it's always cold; people inevitably stand in front of me when i'm looking for my favorite, but often obscure, box of organic wheat squares as if i wasn't standing there; and i usually forget my grocery list. most of those things aren't so bad, you might be thinking. well here's the one thing that takes the cake. the one thing that makes me literally want to start a UFC fight in the middle of the store...
10 items or less lanes
this is something i seriously don't get, and quite frankly i've had it with. when you get into a line that says "10 items or less," it should mean just that. not 12, not 14, and certainly not 22!!!! i don't know if God is trying to teach me patience or what, but i have managed to get behind some idiot with well over their 10 item limit twice in the past freaking week! the first time, i just silently b*itched about it to my mom, my three closest friends on speed dial, and facebook. okay, maybe that's not so silent, but my point is that i didn't cause a scene in the middle of the store while holding my one single cantaloupe. then, it happened again yesterday evening. i went to the grocery store intending to do some serious shopping. i was on the phone with julie over at life on a hanger when i decided, forget it, i'm not going to do some serious grocery shopping. so instead, i went over to the frozen food section, grabbed two boxes of my beloved central market flaxseed organic frozen waffles (my dinner) and set out to the - you guessed it - 10 items or less lane. when i get there, what to i find?? a lady with not 10, not 11, not even 12, but 22 items on the conveyor belt. you've got to be kidding me! so what do i do? i stand there glaring at her, looking at the "10 items or less" sign illuminated above, and sigh (loudly). she doesn't catch on. i gave up. next time i'll employ the help of sarah at a life more exciting to give her the infamous stink-eye!
so please, i'm begging you, if you choose to get into the 10 items or less lane, make sure you have 10 items or less!