thank you, i love you all, and i will beat you with my cane

i cannot thank you all enough for your prayers, thoughts, love, and support.  anaphylactic reactions and severe asthma are unfortunately a daily reality for my family.  it's beyond terrifying, so your prayers and words of comfort mean so much to me.  the one good thing that can come out of my mom's health situation are medical journal articles and studies bringing about awareness.  her case is such a rarity (only one other person in the u.s. has food allergies as severe as hers), making sure it is documented and studied is important.  my mom and i were released from the hospital late last night with lots of breathing machines and steroids, and now she's home and doing well.  my dad also came home from europe last night, so he was able to stay home from work today and be with her.  that means i'm back in the office.  ugh.

i seriously have so much blogging material from our hospital slumber party that i'll have to share with you later.  (i've got a crapton of work to catch up on.  i was working from the hospital on my phone and laptop as much as i could.)  just to give you a little preview of stories to come: 85 year old woman with a walker begins wielding it as a weapon on the male nurses.  i promise you, it's funny stuff.

and just to share a little family tidbit with you all: as of this past sunday, my little brother is officially legal and he's all grown up! it's still so weird to me that in a few short months he'll be leaving for college. my family and i live in the same city and are extremely close; his leaving will especially affect our 11 year old sister who calls her big brother her "best friend." here's one of the pics (we are doing some serious squinting in the sun) we took at the sunday lunch celebration after church (sans pops who was still in europe thanks to the volcano spewing ash all over the place):

my momma with her three babies

hospital slumber parties

hey friends, i'm blogging on my iPad from my mom's hospital room. she was admitted yesterday after having an anaphylactic allergic reaction. looks like we'll be having a couple more slumber parties here because the swelling in her throat and tongue isn't going down as quickly as the doctors would like. my dad is still in europe, so i'm staying here at the hospital with my mom and making sure my siblings are taken care of. please keep my mom and i in your prayers. i would love and totally appreciate lots of prayers! the steroids are keeping my mom wired, so i have yet to sleep! we've stayed up watching movies and playing games on the iPad. so i guess it was money well spent!

human men vs. animal kingdom men

i've always been attracted to large, "manly" men... okay, that sounded weird, what i mean is i've always been attracted to tall, built men who are manly-like and fulfill most of their gender stereotype roles (i.e. they're big, brave, strong, protective, have hair on their arms and legs, and aren't afraid to get dirty.  okay, i just described the brawny paper towel man.)  anyways, most of the guys i've dated have been at least 6'0" or taller.  quasi, for instance, is 6'2", about 225 lbs, and manly.  i'm 5'4", 107 lbs., and girly, so the juxtaposition is fairly great.  and while quasi is one of the most well-dressed men i know (he really should just own banana republic and nordstroms because the guy has the entire men's department of each respective store hanging in his closet), he doesn't wear bright colored boas, head dresses, jewelry, or gel and spike his hair. - point is he's not "flashy," no pun intended.  (keep reading and you'll see where i'm going with this.)

as a matter of fact most males aren't flashy.  human males, that is.  males in the animal kingdom, on the other hand, are a whole different story.  males in the animal kingdom are very flashy and ornate.  for some reason i find this totally interesting.  i may be alone in my interest, but why do the males get to be the pretty ones??  all the colorful, flamboyant males are on the left; plain, boring females on the right.

peacocks

cardinals

mallard ducks

lions

geckos: the male is the cool lime green one

see what i mean??  yes, i know, i know - the males are colorful and bright in order to attract females.  i watch enough national geographic to know that.  i just wish it could be the other way around.  hmmmph!

time for a lobbyist office tour

so you may or may not have seen some office tours going on around the blogosphere.  you can thank my boa-loving friend cher from the only girl for this trend and check out her site for other international workspace tours.  i finally decided to get in on the fun, too.  my office is fairly unexciting and - i never thought i'd say this - i actually miss working in downtown houston sometimes.  the one good thing about working where i do now is we have a huge parking lot, so i don't have to park in a parking garage and walk 20 minutes like i had to while i worked in the mayor's office at city hall.  i know, walking 20 minutes may not seem like a big deal to some of you, but wearing 3" heels, a silk blouse, and having to hike it in 105 degree heat and 98% humidity is a real pain in the arse, not to mention it totally messes up your hair.  houston isn't exactly a walkable environment.  (i know you smart growth and urban planners in san fran and nyc are probably having heart attacks.)  

okay, enough talk.  on to the tour:

1. welcome!  please come in!  do you need to make a copy?  i have a texas-sized copier here to greet you.

2. here's my desk, walls, and files.  clearly.

3. i like to organize my life.  i'll organize the heck out of yours too, if you'll let me.

4. the view from my shoes everyday.  i basically stare at my boss.  well, i don't stare at him, i mean i can see him from my desk.  those doors normally aren't shut, and he is normally throwing various squishy stress balls at me to get my attention when i ignore him.

5. here's my little piece of home that i brought to spruce up my office.  i figure since i spent more hours than i'd like to admit here, i should probably have something nice to look at.  and that sign on the left is my fave: "there are 2 theories to arguing with a woman; neither one works."

6. contents of my middle desk drawer.  i obvs love sugar.

7. some of my files.  and my calendar.  and trash can.  all very exciting.

hope you enjoyed the tour!  i would say come back anytime, but that would be weird.  

you get to see me walking and talking: my first vlog ever!! (vlog = video log, p.s.)

thanks to THE stephanie (almost like THE ga) from live.laugh.love. and bathwater from memento mori, i have finally figured out how to upload a video! i had the "updated blogger editor" and you have to have the "old blogger editor." seems oxymoronic to me, but whatever. point is i have finally uploaded my own personal video for your viewing pleasure. here's the deal with this first vlog. i had just gotten home from work and had nothing to talk about since no one gave me topics or asked me any questions. plus, it was my first and you're always really nervous with your first. so sorry in advance if it's kind of boring, it's kind of just me talking. bailey makes her supporting actress debut, too. please don't judge. unless you do it nicely. i promise the content will be much better next time.

news you can use #18: breaking benjamin, no more salt, bulldoggies, don't drink and drive a lazy boy, vlog help, and ipads

breaking benjamins. the u.s. treasury and federal reserve officials unveil the new currency to start circulation in february 2011. supposedly the new design will help to thwart counterfeiters. looks a little like the euro to me.

FDA asked to force food industry to cut back on salt. do you have any idea how much this would change my life?? i LOVE salt. (and not just salt from salt says, either!) for years i thought i had some sort of disease that made me crave salt. (hypochondria?) whatever it is it must be the same disease that makes me crave sugar.

bullydoggies. for all of you bulldog lovers out there, this one is for you. the beautiful bulldog contest in des moines, iowa:

don't drink and drive a recliner chair. remember this story back from october 2009 where a man in deluth, minnesota was arrested and given a DUI for being drunk while driving a lazy boy recliner chair?? i didn't remember it either, but apparently this chair was auctioned off for $3,700. the recliner has all of the modern conveniences: it is powered by a lawnmower engine and comes equipped with a stereo, cup holders and a magazine rack. CLASSY!!

vlog help!! so i recorded a vlog for you guys last night but don't have a clue as to how to post it. i went to the trusty internet and got these useless instructions:

1. click the film strip icon on the post editor toolbar.
2. in the popup window, click "browse" to find the video on your computer.
3. enter a title for your video.
4. agree to the terms and conditions (if this is your first video upload).
5. click "upload video."

one huge problem - these instructions were useless because i have no "upload video" icon on my blogger editor! wtf. do i have a messed up blogger account?! am i the only one without this "upload video" icon?? my other option would be to post it to youtube and then upload it from there, but i'd really rather not do that. i don't even have a youtube account and i don't really intend on making one. any suggestions?! please help!

i don't have the icon below boxed in red!!

*UPDATE: thanks to THE stephanie and bathwater, i've figured it out!! i have to use the OLD blogger editor to add the video. that doesn't seem to make much sense, blogger...*

iPad. oh, yeah. and i got an iPad last night. well, technically quasi got us one, which really means it's mine. but i will share. we'll see how cool this bad boy is.

interesting people in my city

okay, so i was at the city of houston public session alllll day yesterday afternoon.  public session is just what it sounds like - people from the public (citizens of houston) come before houston city council and speak on ANY public (or in some cases private) matter they want to.  and i mean ANYthing.  it usually pertains to something that is on the council's agenda the following morning, but sometimes it doesn't.  there's a lot of interesting folks that come down to council.  

by the way, it was 4/20 yesterday, in case you forgot.  and speaking of interesting folks, please check out some of the crazy interesting pro-4/20 advocates.

{please notice that this "gentleman" is wearing a giant marijuana leaf t-shirt and has kindly cut a hole in his shirt to reveal his love for miss mary jane.}

 {just who i would want to take home to meet the family.}

take me back tuesday: why my dog hates me OR why i will make a good mother to a human baby one day (depends on how you look at it)

i stop by my mom's house (aka - bailey's mimi and doggy daycare sitter) and walk into this:

batwoman with (chip) clips in her hair

suffice it to say, she was pretty pissed off and she's still not talking to me, as a matter of fact.  sorry the picture quality sucks; as much as i love my iphone, its photographic capabilities leave something to be wanted.  also, i will probably be missing in action around the blogosphere.  my work is kicking my ass - well, actually not my work, more like the people/things/policies i'm lobbying against are kicking my ass.  but once the dust has settled and i stop running around like my hair is on fire, i'll be back my lovers.

and p.s. if you haven't gone and checked out this post, i suggest you do it now.  it'll be worth your while, and it really should be classified as a take me back tuesday.  it is seriously A-MAZING.

the story of flash and foof

want to see tons of pics of flash and foof (aka - tara from that's why her hair is so big)??

go HERE.  right NOW.  hurry!!!  you will LOVE it.

and follow her.  you won't be disappointed.

because i love you all so much...

i will not be blogging today, but catching up and commenting on all of your blogs.  i'm also adding some new goodies to my daily digests on my sidebar.  don't be sad.  i'll be back soon.

p.s. i did not wake up dead this morning.  it's going to be a good day.

why i'm so glad i woke up alive this morning and didn't die in my sleep.

i know the post title sounds serious and that's because it kind of is.  not really.  so last night, i'm sitting at my kitchen table attempting to put a second permanent invisishield cover on my iphone.  (the night before quasi had put the first invisishield screen on UPSIDE-FREAKING-DOWN leaving my phone a sticky mess.  long story.  i thought my life was over yesterday and my phone was going to be ruined forever.)  oh, and i was baking more of those easter bunny sugar cookies.  i started with ten boxes and i'm down to two.  don't judge.   for those of you who are familiar with those invisishield things, you have to be really precise about it.  plus, they're $30 and this was the second one since the first got all effed up, so i was a little bitter about spending $60 for a damn protective shield.  well, technically i didn't buy them, but it was still money that could have been spent on other things.

anyways, so like i said i'm sitting at my kitchen table trying to have the concentration of a surgeon conducting a dangerous, evasive brain surgery.  one wrong move, and the person iphone is dead.  while i'm totally absorbed with the task at hand, my little nugget has dragged out her toy basket and is throwing her toys all around the apartment.

she's kicking bones with her paws, watches them slide across the wood floor, then chases after them sliding into walls and making a shitload of noise.  i'm trying to get her to stop and be still for a little bit because she's totally ruining my focus style.  naturally, she doesn't listen because she doesn't care.  she's like a teenager, but at least i can lock her in her crate.  last i checked with CPS, you're not allowed to do that with kids.  supposedly.  we'll see.  

so i put the screen on the phone, finally, and admire my hard work.  i then turn to see my little nugget head laying sideways on the floor trying to stretch out and reach a rawhide that has slid under the couch.  (this is a nightly thing.  drives me insane.)  so she's making this awful scraping noise with her claws on the metal bar under the couch.  it's like nails on a chalkboard but worse.  finally, i finish my iphone surgery and get up to get the bone so she'll stop.  

when i bend down to get it, she jumps on my back and bites my ponytail.  (she's obsessed with ears, ponytails, and buns.  it's really weird.)  i jolt up very quickly and as i do i knock the back of my head on my coffee table and fall back to the ground.  i try to stand up, but when i do i fall back down and i'm seeing all these black spots.  

i touch the back of my head and see a tiny bit of red.  no, i'm not bleeding profusely or anything, but enough to say, shit, i'm bleeding, i coud be dying.  what if this is brain fluid?  omg, i don't even have a will.

my head is pounding and i fear my brain is hemorrhaging.  i lay on the couch for a few minutes thinking, i can't even call 911 because that damn invisishield on my phone is still drying!  maybe if i scream loud enough my neighbors will hear me.  but what if screaming makes my brain bleed more?  these are the thoughts going through my wounded and bruised brain.  eventually i get up still feeling wobbly and text my mom.  very carefully, of course because my phone is still drying.

me: mom, i think i'm dying.

mom: no, you're not.

me: yes.  i have a concussion.

mom: how?

me: bailey's bone went under the couch, when i went to get it, i slammed the back of my head into the corner of my coffee table.  i saw stars.  and not the famous kind.  and blood, too.

mom: you probably do have a concussion.  have you thrown up?

me: no, but i have cookies baking in the oven.  shit!  i have cookies in the oven!  they might be burning while my head is bleeding!

mom: go eat your cookies and call me if you throw up.

me: but what if i'm so incapacitated i can't call?  and why are you always telling me to eat cookies.  you are such an enabler.  you want me to be fat.

mom: bailey will call.  and you could never be fat.

me: oh, no!  i can't go to sleep tonight!  what if i have an aneurism in my sleep and i wake up dead!

mom: you can't "wake up dead."

me: you know what i mean.  what if i don't wake up?!  i'll be like liam neeson's wife who hit her head in the terrible ski accident and then went into a coma and never came out of it!  what if that happens?!

mom: then i'll be sad.

thank you, mother for your undying love and support.  fortunately i did wake up alive this morning.

take me back tuesday: the denim and bunny dress makes its second appearance. this time it's with a cool old man and a little pumpkin.

remember the denim and bunny dress??  well, it's made it's comeback here at my grandparents' house while carving pumpkins.  and remember how one of my nicknames is "moody padoody"?  well, you can thank the gramps for that one.  he still calls me that to this day.

now, grandpa, you have to be very careful and precise.  i'm less concerned about you cutting yourself and more concerned with the perfection of my pumpkin.  i don't want you messing up my masterpiece, ya hear?

THIS right here in my grubby little hands is why i don't carve pumpkins.  pumpkin guts.

oh, and i really love your wallpaper, grandma.  tres chic.

looks pretty damn good, if i do say so myself!