fashion, facial hair, and frail "beauty"

alright ladies (and the few select awesome men who read my shenanigans), we need to have a chat.  a chat about fashion, facial hair (specifically facial hair on women), and what our culture views as beauty.  

here's the thing, i realize that the human body is 100% covered in a fine, thin layer of hair.  i get that.  and most women either wax, thread, pluck, or bleach their eyebrows and lips.  it's normal, it's natural, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.  THIS, however, is a little different...

am i the only one who finds this both something disturbing and disgusting, not to mention itchy?

is she carrying a plate?

this has nothing to do with facial hair because i am less concerned about the woman (yes, that is a woman) walking down the center of the runway and more concerned about the chick in the red shorts on the left-hand side of the runway.  she looks starving and very ill.  maybe i'm missing the point of "fashion" and the "beauty" of looking like skeletor; but i am sickened that our society and fashion world often views bones and skin as beauty and fashionable.  yes, i realize that many men and women are naturally very thin - God created us all different with a specific purpose in mind; but no human being is naturally bone thin.

what do you think?

and here's the mastermind behind it all - patrick mohr.  mohr is known for his strange selection of models, often choosing homeless people off the streets to create his vision, for example.

there are two things i would say to this guy:

1. patrick, i get that you're an artist.  or a fashion designer.  or whatever.  i get that your into androgyny.  i get that you want to be unique and different and and push the envelope in order to create "art."  to that i say, that's cool.  your "art" most definitely isn't my thing, but to each their own.  you probably don't like the fact that i love to shave my legs.  we can agree to disagree and still live in harmony.  i like that your living your dream.

2. while the facial hair is beyond disgusting and androgyny isn't really my thing because i love actually looking like a woman, what concerns me most is that 90% of your models look sick.  like near death, frail, malnourished sick.  like the kind of sick where they should be in a hospital getting treatment, not on a runway parading their skeleton around as something of beauty.  just my two cents.

you can check it all out here.

with summertime comes animals and bugs that suck my blood. and no, i am not talking about the cullens or salvatore brothers.

the little critters and animals in and around my neighborhood are starting to get to me.  seriously, i know how the actors in avatar must have felt because i'm pretty sure i live in pandora.  in the forest.  with lots of scary, teeth-baring animals that like to come out and play at night.

in addition to small rodents, i am also seriously hating things that crawl and/or fly.  with summertime (i.e. 100-plus degree temperatures and 110% humidity) now upon us, texas-sized, bloodsucking mosquitoes are out in full force.  i know you guys live all over the country and globe, and you too have your fair share of indigenous creepy crawlies, but i guarantee you, the mosquitoes i have recently seen flying around my home (and sometimes even into.my.freaking.house.) are seriously HUGE.  like the size of small birds.

and i feel like every time i go into or out of my house, at least one mosquito flies in and i can't find the little bloodsucker.  so when i wake up in the morning, i've been waking up with a new bite!!  i can't use raid or bug spray because it sends me into a coughing/asthma/throat attack, so instead  think i may need to invest in a mosquito net to ward off that one or two pesky needle-flying creature.

here's the thing, i HATE mosquitoes.  like really really hate them.  so i'm going to put a sign over my front door that goes something like this:

that'll keep 'em away, i just know it.  as for the little rodents and critters, i'll come up with something and get back to you.

an open letter to the elementary school crossing guard who is out to get me EVERY.SINGLE.MORNING.

dear miss/ms./mrs. (though i'm 99.9999% sure you are a "miss") elementary school crossing guard who is out to get me EVERY SINGLE MORNING:
 

here's the deal.  i'm going to cut to the chase.  you are out to get me and i know it AND i don't like it.  

EVERY SINGLE MORNING i drive into my parents' neighborhood to drop my fur baby off at her mimi's.  i know you know this because you see me drive into the neighborhood EVERY SINGLE MORNING with a bat-eared fur nugget hanging out of my back window; and then you see me exit the neighborhood sans bat-eared nugget.  

once you see my car coming you immediately stop traffic.  and by "traffic," i really just mean you stand right in front of MY car shaking the stop sign and a flash light at me.  (not to change the subject, but can i ask what's the deal with the flashlight??  it is daylight outside, you know.)  you proceed to mean mug me for the next 20-30 seconds.  i look around and, what do you know!?  there are NO children waiting to cross the street.  so why do you insist on making me stop and wait for 5 minutes??  the only explanation i can come up with is that you are out to get me.  so we sit there staring at each other waiting for children to come and cross the street.

i realize holding up a fake stop sign and wearing a bright orange reflector vest is a big freaking deal.  i get that.  you take your job seriously.  i take my job seriously, too.  too bad my job doesn't involve a stop sign or a reflector vest.  i'll have to talk to my clients about that.  please don't think i'm trivializing your job, because i'm not.  i take children's safety very seriously, and i'm glad to see that you obviously do, too.

i promise i'm not going to run any kids over.  or their parents or their dogs who dart out in the middle of the street.  (please tell the parents to put "fido" on a dang leash, by the way.) 

anyways, point is, you are my entrance into the neighborhood and you are also my exit out of it, so can we please just be friends?  no?  okay, fine.  then at the very least for the love of Jesus, mary, joseph, and all the twelve disciples, can you puhh-lease stop weilding that stop sign out in front of my car like a damn sword.  you make me 10 minutes late to work nine out of ten mornings and i know you do it because you hate me.

i promise i will not run you over, but if this keeps up, we're going to have serious problems, woman.

love, reflector vests, and flashlights,
meredith.

giveaway winner and a bad case of the mondays

first thing's first.  tha giveaway winna is...

auntBT @ sometimes choosing a window is better than a door

so congrats, lady!!  now, go on over to bomobob's etsy shop and shoot me an email letting me know which one of his amazing pieces you just hafta have!

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well, it's monday.  obvs.  and i know how much we all love mondays.  i like mondays about as much as i like going to my yearly "woman's wellness" exam.  (fyi - i HATE it, in case you couldn't get that.)  so in honor of today (i.e. monday - i day i'm not particularly fond of), i'm going to share with you some other things i don't particularly care for.  no, this isn't a negative post.  no, i'm not complaining.  i am simply spreading vast amounts of useless very important knowledge that you need to go on today.  so here goes, here are the things that i highly dislike:

first, mcdonald's.  i've already mentioned in news you can use #12 how unfond of mcdonald's i am, so this is just reason #359735707328345 why i dislike the golden arches.  have you ever wondered what exactly is in a "chicken mcnugget"?  no?  okay, well you're much less inquisitive than i thought.  i'm going to tell you even if you're not wondering. the "chicken" alone contains seven ingredients, and that's not even including the breading.  per men's health magazine (i read it because there are hot guys in it), the “meat” in the mcnugget alone contains seven ingredients, some of which are made up of yet more ingredients. nope, it’s not just chicken.  it’s also such non-chicken related stuff like water, wheat starch, dextrose, safflower oil, and sodium phosphates.  the “meat” also contains something called “autolyzed yeast extract.”  (there's your vocabulary word of the day.)  then add another 20 ingredients that make up the breading, and you have the industrial chemical known as the mcnugget.  mmmm, sounds delicious.

{remember last year when that lady called 911 because mcdonald's ran out of chicken mcnuggets??  no?  well, it's a true story.}

when i spend more than five minutes on my hair and the second i walk outside it looks like this:

{i don't have red hair.  and i'm not this pale.}

having to work when the rest of the world is on spring break!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ugh.