Thursday, May 13, 2010

news you can use #20: it IS possible to have your eyelashes burned off by a flaming hot oven; VS models forced me to buy five swimsuits; and the unveiling of quasi

today's news you can use! is going to be a bit different.  you can thank my insane schedule for that one.  my day involves back to back to back to back meetings, so i'm actually posting this from my phone.  (whoever doubts my love for you should be feeling ashamed right about now!)  anyways, there are some important unimportant things i feel like you should know:

1. it IS possible to have your eyelashes burned off by sticking your head in a 450 degree oven.  i did it last night, and yes i am serious.  

so you know how i like to bake, right?  seeing as though i'm allergic to 90% of packaged goods, i experiment with various recipes to make something yummy and delicious and full of sugar.  well last night, i decided to make some "cinnamon-oatmeal-whole-grain-banana-muffins."  (they are delish, p.s.)  well, this being an experiment, i continually checked on them.  (i treat muffin making very seriously.)  

(here i am baking in my kitchen.)

apparently, i must have stuck my head or face too far in because this great rush of flaming hot heat seared my face, burning off half the length of my eyelashes.  i don't have a picture because i didn't take one.  i was too busy crying.  i three-way called my mom and quasi to determine if 911 would accept "burned eyelashes" as a legitimate emergency.  they both said "NO."  

suffice if to say, my left eyelashes are now shorter than my right eyelashes by a considerable amount.  fortunately, i have decently long ones to begin with.

2.quasi and i are planning a quick getaway weekend soon, so i order not one, not two, but five swimsuits from victoria's secret.  i'm not even kidding you, those VS swimsuit models are always trying to convince me that if i buy their swimsuits, i, too, will look like them while wearing them.  i'm not sure if they take into account the 6 muffins i ate for breakfast or the 4 fajitas i had at lunch.

(i got all five of these swimsuits.)

3. the post about my DIY project, a panic attack, and the unveiling of quasi's identity is coming very very soon.  just not over here.  it's being debuted somewhere else.  (i'll give you a hint - it's going to be posted next tuesday a.m. so get stoked and mark your calendars accordingly.)



SurferWife said...

you are going to look so freaking hot! Where is your beachy getaway going to be?

And look at you all fancy guest posting on a big site!!

Vic said...

Your poor eyelashes!

You totally lured me in on quasi, dammit! I want to know now!

Salt said...

I can't even pick which one of those swimsuits I love the best! I really need to invest in a new one too. I just wish my boobs would look that good. Or the rest of my body either.

Those muffins sounded delish until you said "banana" which is the one and only food item that I am allergic to (so far as I know).

Bathwater said...

How's going to be looking at your bathing suit now with f'd up eyelashes!

I mean besides me. I'm sure you'll look great.

Sole Matters said...

did you pick one??

Cathy said...

You little tease, I scrolled down before reading hoping to see a pic of quasi, but NO! only hot models who make me feel fatfatfat. Thanks for nothing!

foxy said...

Dude, IF ONLY my body would fit into one of those suits, I would get it. But I don't even think my fat effing toe would fit into one of those!!! They are awesome though. And I'm pretty positive that you'll look great, you skinny beyotch.

I've accidentally cut my eyelashes off before when I was trying to use an electric little razor thing to trim my brows. I took about half my lashes straight off. They do grow back at least!!

The Only Girl said...

Sorry about your loss - of the eyelashes that is.

I know you'll look HOTT in any of those suits. Which pisses me off. But fortunately it's you. So I don't mind so much. Where ya going?!

And a big booooo for the Quasi tease. So not fair.

MiMi said...

Those suits are hot! :)
My sister cut her eyelashes off once with the eyelash curler.
Hey, I didn't know Texas had snow right now! And you even built a snowman! Awesom.

KatiePerk said...

Sad you mangled your eyelashes. Mad you made me go to Victoria's Secret. I am the proud new owner of 2 new suits.

Ashley Paige said...

i am so sorry about your eyelashes- what a travesty. i learned the hard way that that same flash of searing hot heat practically melts mascara off ones eyelashes at an alarming rate and makes it feel as if someone poured flaming hot lava on one's eyelids. how come no one tells you these things?

also- let's just say you bought a few VS swimsuits for me. because seriously, i am so deeply saddened that i will not be purchasing my BULK order of VS swimsuits this year. the baby bump just isn't that rockin'. im jealous. of you bathing suits. of the models. of YOUR VACATION!!!!!!

dagger. haha LOVE the suits you chose though! so fab! :)

Ashley @ KiwisandCocktails said...

I have lost my eye lashes before due to fire...and even though people say they do not grow back, they reall DO! So, good luck! :)
I think the bodies really should come with the swimsuits!

ScoMan said...

I feel like such an idiot.

I didn't even know it snowed there during the spring time, and yet there you are, baking away with a snowman behind you.

It's just on 7am and I've already learned my new thing today (and if you ever doubted my dedication to your blog you should be feeling ashamed right about now!)

If I burned my eyelashes off, not only would I take a picture of it but it would become my Facebook profile picture within about 10 minutes.

But I think that's a guy thing. We're proud when we maim and disfigure ourselves.

Anonymous said...

You're such a tease.

I love the brown bikini. I could not wear the others. I have no boobs.

blueviolet said...

I can't believe you really truly seared them. I've had that melting sensation where they stick together, but wow!!! Sorry about that!

You must be anxious for swimsuit season to buy 5 suits!!!

Shelley said...

Oh no!! That's horrible about your eyelashes!! Love the swimsuits. I know how you feel. They look so beautiful and sexy on them...but most of us don't look like THAT when we try it on!

Tara said...

bahaha.. you would burn your eyelashes off! and seriously, you are pretty damn close to looking like a victorias secret model, you skinny little thing.. your boob job helps too..

Kiera said...

dude ive missed your fab life! and i cant WAIT for quasi et al

Crazy Shenanigans said...

I love those bathing suits!!! SO pretty! said...

Does Quasi look like Quasimoto? Like, with a hunchback and stuff? Because that's how I imagine him from his nickname. So I am VERY intrigued to see him unveiled.
P.S. You should get some of that lash-growing stuff Brooke Shields sells. Seriously, that chick sells EVERYTHING.

bananas. said...

seriously victoria secret models make me want to kill myself. ugh!

sorry about the lashes. my bestie did that once.

Jen said...

seriously, why can't i look that amazing in a bikini?? what the heck is their secret? ugghhh... ok, i'm off to the gym now :-)

Erin said...

I tell myself that those models are airbrushed and not real. It's not working, though.

A bikini.....will never wear one again. but a girl can dream, right?

Sorry about your lashes---omg!

And your guest post? You are going all Big Time on us, mer!

Brittany said...

You teased us!! :-(

I'm so sorry about your lashes. I know that had to hurt!

And you know darn well you're gonna look just like a VS model in those swimsuits cause we've ALL seem pics of you :-) Where are you guys going?

Silver Strands said...

Hahahahha .. I guess maybe it's only funny to your readers, Meredith ... but the burned eyelash story really got me laughing. Glad you've still got some left though :)

Christy said...

That's horrible about your eyelashes!

Cute swimsuits though!

Found you through Stacy...hi =)

luckydame said...

You must have some LONG eyelashes, girl! Maybe I should do a post about false eyelashes on Monday. :P

Glad you are okay and didn't have to call 911. Though....then you could've had cute firemen at your house....hmmmm

brooke said...

i would cry about the lashes too...that is something you just DON'T mess with!!!

and um.super excited about tuesday...alarm is set!! anxiously awaiting with baited breath!

Sarah from 20somethingcupcakes said...

Just found you via Brunch at Sakes. Love the blog!

They are always begging me to buy, too! Then I do, and the fit is no where close to what the pictures look like. Let me know how they come out, because they've had some cute ones! xxSAS

luckydame said...

I love the bottom bathing suit on the right.....I can't believe you bought 5! I'm having an anxiety attack over buying one. haha

Carissa Mason said...

I, too, LOVE VS swimwear and even though I have like 50 swimsuits I still feel obligated to buy more when summer rolls back around. And no, I don't rid my drawer of any of the old ones. They'll just accumulate until the 4 muffins I also had for breakfast tell me otherwise. lol!
Glad I stumbled upon your blog today! I'll be your newest follower. Holla!

sanjeet said...

you are going to look so freaking hot!
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