olympic man and honest crap

i have meagan at  megs7827 for this olympian man award.  this award is timely as the winter olympics start on friday.  in canada.  where twilight eclipse was filmed.  just a little interesting factoid for you.  all my canadian lovers out there say "whaaaat!  whaaaat!" 

and ashley at raising brats (who is adorable and precious and has an army man hubby and three gorgeous rugrats and you should totally read her blog) is totally down with my honest scrap.  or is it honest crap?  i like honest crap better.  i just changed the name of the award.  the award-maker probably won't like that, but whatevs.  it suits me better for the crap i write is indeed honest.  like abe.  whose birthday is this friday, by the way.  and the olympics start on friday.  the syllogism and parallels of the post are amazing.

now i'm supposed to tell you interesting facts about me that you may not know.  some of you may know some or all of these, so just go with it.  if you know these already, pretend like you don't and act excited.  thanks.  i'm trying to kind of follow rules for once.

1. i could never be on a show like the bachelor and let me tell you why.  other than having to fight 25 other bitches to get to one single man who i probably really won't even like that much... the reason for this is because they are always drinking WINE.  have you noticed that??  like every single date revolves around wine.  so i'd be sitting out there like a total outcast and probably get kicked off the show.  i've never had a glass of wine in my life, yet i own lots of wine glasses.  even the trendy stemless ones that impress my friends.  but if i could drink wine, i would.  believe me.  all you bitches out there are such wino-s and are constantly bragging about all the delicious wine you love.  it makes me kind of jealous.

2. i am decently fluent in french.  this fact does not come in handy in texas.  at all.  we do not share a border with france, we share a border with mexico, and let me tell you, they do not speak french.

3. i have a tiny, tiny birthmark (i think it's a birthmark) on my left index finger which is shaped like the continent of south america.  this must mean i was supposed to be south american.  and this explains why people think i habla espanol.  (for you northerners that's spanish for "speak spanish.")

4. i played soccer since i was seven years old and played in college.  my collegiate experience wouldn't have been what it is had it not been for college sports.  (i miss it something awful.)

5. i love q-tips.  i don't know why, but i love them and thank whoever invented them.  they have over 1,000 uses for sure, and you don't realized how much you love them until you run out.  if you don't like q-tips, then you probably have nasty, dirty ears.

6. i love to snowboard.  preferably in the swiss alps.  shaun white ain't got nothing on me.

i'm passing BOTH of these awards onto these lucky gals because of their olympic man spirit and honest crap:

hotpants @ handbags and handguns

 summer @ le musings of moi

THE stephanie at live.laugh.love.

brooke @ oofa luffa le

salt @ salt says...

foxy @ the fox den

and of course to my trifecta:
monique @ a day in the life of a surferwife
jessalyn @ cape cod awesome

if you're not following these broads, you're missing out.

and one more thing... GIVEAWAY ends today at noon!!

i am a karate kicking badass and have a blog full of hearts

this award is all about recognizing friendships that have been made while blogging.  this is award is also about recognizing that you don't have to have a black belt in karate to really eff someone up.  i can give just about anyone a good ass whoopin' and i am no jet li.

hotpants at handbags and handguns clearly, finds me to be a master of the karate arts and an amazing bloggy friend.  and clearly, she is right.  i'm the one of the left.  the one in the nut hugging, banana hammock.  hotpants is the one with the tat and nicole richie eyeliner.  go check this woman out - she's a g when it comes to celebrity gossip and she loves vampires.  obvi, we're kindred spirits.

i've never been very good at following the rules, but i happen to like these rules.  therefore, (this one time) i will play along.

1. list 6 things you are a master in.

2. pass it on to 6 bloggers you think are masters at friendship and make blogging so awesome.

6 things of which i am effing awesome

1. sports.  you name it, i'll play it.  minus swimming; i won't be awesome at swimming.  i mean i can swim.  duh.  just not michael phelps fast.  like normal speed, i guess.  like i can probably swim as fast as michael phelps can walk through the water.  but most other sports, i'm game.  and chances are, i'll raise the stakes, put a bet on it, and i'll be out for blood.  too competitive?  wrong.

2. watching tv.  (hotpants is also awesome at this.)  seriously, i can watch tv like nobody's freakin' biznass.  day long marathons?  count me in, i'm there.  i will only move if i really have to pee.

3. baking banana bread.  i can't cook worth shit.  yes, i know how to read a cookbook, but it all seems so tedious, boring, and messy.  plus, i *think* i made myself sick after eating something i tried to make reading out of a cookbook.  BAKING, on the other hand, i put martha fields to shame with my baker extraordinaire skills.  i get to wear a super cute apron - a monogrammed cheetah and damask print, nonetheless.  my aunt from nola made it for me.  who dat?!

4. conducting background checks. i'm not kidding you, i can pretty much find out anything about anyone.

5. bitching and complaining.  my skills go unrivaled. 

6. school.  sounds lame, but i have always been awesome at school.  like kicked it's ass awesome.  i miss it.  i like kicking 's ass at things.

6 7 of my blogging bffs who i know would seriously kick someone's ass for me.  seriously, if you eff with me, you're messing with them.

1. monique @ a day in the life of a surferwife
(http://surferwife23.blogspot.com/)

2. jessalyn @ cape cod awesome
(http://capecodawesome.blogspot.com/)

3. kiran @ masala chica
(http://masalachica.blogspot.com/)

4. mayra @ life is bananas
(http://littlemayra.blogspot.com/)

5. aubrey @ made you blush
(http://hendersons01.blogspot.com/)

6. red dreads (aka - the HOTTEST red head i know)
http://restlesslipsyndrome.blogspot.com/

7. liz @ it's unbeweavable!
(http://www.itsunbeweavable.com/)
(liz is having some AMAZING giveaways ALL week long so get yo'self on over there!)

this next award comes from kinsey michaels AND momma ra.  kinsey's a little sassy, a little outrageous, and has a love for heidi montag's shoe collection.  she's a west coast chick with a lot to say.  now about momma ra... have you seen this momma's insanely adorable, baby boy jackson???  the kids got looks other toddlers would kill for.  seriously, you need to go to her blog just to look at the adorable pics of her little boy.  stalkerish much??  of course not!  oh, and she's italian, like me, so what's not to love?!  thank you, ladies!!

i'm passing this on to four ladies whose blogs i adore and make my days full of hearts in my face:

summer @ b is for brown
(http://bisforbrown.blogspot.com/)

ashley paige @ i love you more than carrots
(http://iloveyoumorethancarrots.blogspot.com/)

cathy @ antsy pants
(http://cathyhasantsypants.blogspot.com/)

erin @ the mother load
(http://abbyandizzysmom.blogspot.com/)

this last award comes from one of my newest stalkers, T at it's my moment to shine.  she also love THE ga.

it is with great honor that i bestow this award - gorgeous ladies of blogging - to my two favorite men who are such faithful lovers of my blog:

this is scoman

bathwater @ memento mori
(http://memento-mori-bathwater.blogspot.com/)

news you can use #6: a new hottie politician, a disney star messing with my movie, hong kong, dangerous hot sauce, vamps, pee, and my little nugget

wow.  yesterday's post and the comments that ensued were quite the doozy.  i want to say a HUGE HUGE thank you to all of you who came to cheer me on against that hateful commenter.  i know many of us have had the distinct pleasure of receiving some pretty shitty comments from ugly haters, so i wanted to make sure you all know how much your comments really mean to me.  (if you're just tuning in and don't know what the eff i'm talking about, read yesterday's post, paying particular attention to the comments...)  **UPDATE: hateful commenter has graced us with her presence yet again today on this post and has made a couple super nice comments.  i appreciate the time you're spending on me, my blog, and my AWESOME followers today.**

okay, enough of that.  on to the gooooood stuff.  you all know what today is.  it's time for a new edition of news you can use!  i know, i know you're all super excited, but seriously keep your panties on.  i don't want to be seeing any of your pikachus or peiners.

scott brown wins massachusetts open senate seat.  scott brown (aka - political hottie mchotterson) has won the open senate seat in the state of massachusetts.  (one of the members of the trifecta happens to live in this great state.)  for those of you who refuse to follow politics or read a newspaper, this senate race was to fill ted kennedy's seat.  this is a big deal because it's the first republican senator elected in that state in thirty years.  pres. obama's state of the union address next week is gonna be interesting.  part of me is wondering if he's going to come out and be all like: americans, i hate to break it to you, but this is efffffed up!  (he backed scott brown's opponent, democrat martha coakley.)

{not a bad lookin' politician, if i do say so myself.}

zac efron looking to play a role in the hangover 2.  whaaaaaaat??  noooo!!  say it ain't so, hangover casting crew.  the last thing i need is for disney's high school musical 1, 2, and 3's star to show up in one of my absolute faves.  really, zac, stay away from my hangover.

{zac's on the far right.  i know this because i have an 11 year old sister obsessed with disney.}

{hmmmm, zac looks like he's grown up a little since his high school musical days...}

hong kong fashion week.  here are some particularly interesting pieces i thought you would enjoy.  please wear them this weekend and let me know how is goes.

{christian lou-what???  move over, louby, these goodies by guo pei will be the latest rage.  seriously, though, can you imagine walking in these bad boys??  good luck with that.  i'd for sure snap an ankle.  MODG, maybe you can get kim k. to send you these??}

{apparently hong kong heard all the americans bitching about how cold this last winter has been and ningbo greenland costume industrial co., ltd. has responded.  kind of reminds me of all the marshmallows i eat.  i presume - if i could see my insides - they would look something like this.}

 {i would totes wear this.  i like my "personal space," you see, and this seems to be the appropriate amount.  thanks, guo pei.}

{lee wai ling, can i have this whole get-up sans the ruffles?  thanks.}

{this bitch means business.  maybe it's just me, but this handgun isn't exactly "concealed.  baldwin pui, you're not really fooling anyone.}

{i can't help but think of some really nasty things when i look at this creation by fan chun pang... or maybe it just looks like elmer's glue?}

eight teens end up in hospital after drinking hot sauce.  you may have seen this article here, but check this out: "officials in germany say eight teenagers were hospitalized after a test of courage in which they drank chili sauce more than 200 times hotter than typical tabasco sauce. (wtf were they thinking??)  the red cross in the southern city of augsburg says that 10 boys, aged 13 and 14, drank the sauce wednesday morning, apparently in school. [...]  the red cross said that on the scoville scale, which measures the hotness of sauce, the sauce measured 535,000 — compared to 2,500 for normal tabasco sauce."  if you're thinking, wtf??!? you're not alone, that was my first thought, too.

i will be cheating on edward cullen tonight at 7:00 p.m. CST.  blasphemous, i know.  please withhold your judgments.  i can't help it, though.  vampire diaries starts back up tonight, and (i'm ashamed to say) after watching a marathon of it about a month ago, i'm kind of interested to see what happens.

i make surferwife want to pee her pants.   monique is a member of the very coveted trifecta, so this award means more to me than anyone can ever know.  she has a snarky ass mouth, and is funny as all get up so if i make her want to pee her pants, you know i'm just that good.

my little nugget will be going obedience school.  her selective hearing is worse than her mommy's and SHE.REFUSES.TO.LISTEN.TO.ME.

the ga and other important stuff

is it seriously still not friday yet??!  maybe it's because i've been so insanely busy at work, i just feel like it should be friday.  ughhh.  fortunately i have something to cheer both you and me up on this especially awful hump day:

yearbook pics of my fave stefani joanne angelina germanotta

(better known to those not in the know as: lady gaga)

{seriously???  she's not even a freak here!  oh, and she hearts britney spears.  duh.}

{word on the street (aka - people.com) is she changed her hair color to blonde to differentiate herself from amy winehouse.}

{that's my girl!!}

{showing her true colors at the mtv video music awards.}

now that you've gathered yourself after seeing pics of the ga, on to some things going on in my exciting internet life.  i have to say i was totally stoked to be shown in my favorite aussie's blog: this is scoman.  seriously, check out this post.  he made a banner for me and i'm obsessed.  there's only one thing on the banner that is slightly incorrect.  i don't love all animals - mainly just dogs, cheetahs, zebras, giraffes, monkeys, penguins, moose, unicorns (thanks, jess!), ligers ... okay, actually i do like a lot of animals and i watch a lot of animal planet, but i HATE cats.  that was my point in saying i don't love all animals.  go check out that post on his blog if you don't know what i'm talking about or you don't know what a banner is.  maybe he'll make one for you, too if your special.  and lucky.  or both.  i happen to be both and then some.  scoman's smart because he recognizes that.

even after seeing my hot 80s overloaded with hairspray hairdo, shandal @ my life in 3d still seems to find me a rather beautiful blogger... oh, wait...  maybe she gave this to me before seeing the 80s 'do.  whatevs, this shit is mine now.  no indian giver take-backs allowed, shandy!  seriously, i love this chick and her blog.

i don't know the rules for this award, (quite honestly, i never know the rules for these things) so i'm gonna do what i want when i want and pass this on to these three beautiful ladies:

elizabeth marie @ it's unbeweavable

aubrey @ made you blush

kiran @ masala chica

walking the red carpet... again

i seriously feel like this is awards week.  i would have planned my wardrobe accordingly had i known i'd be walking the red carpet so many times.  the following two awards come from julie @ brown eyed belle.  miss julie finds me both stunning and chic.  she's obviously a very smart woman.  i like smart people, and i like people who love me.  this is why i expect her to go far in life.

i hope these ladies (and this one gentleman) are wearing their red carpet best because it is with great honor that i pass these oscars onto:

jessalyn @ cape cod awesome

monique @ a day in the life of a surferwife

cee @ curiosity

 cher @ the only girl

speaking from the crib

hallie @ wonderful world of wieners

sonja @ for love of stilettos

mrs. eyecansee @ the juice is worth the squeeze... 

 this is scoman

completely unrelated to awards, but still equally exciting: the bachelor.  i want you all to know i broke down and watched the bachelor last night.  that shit is like a serious train wreck, and my monday nights are now booked the the one hour while this show is on.  one of my real life bffs, tara, came over to keep me and bailey boo company as i watched a show about finding true love while eating raw sugar cookie dough.  that's true love, friends.  while i'm not a huge fan of the show, i do hope jakey finds love.  i would say that maybe i could be his one and only, but after hearing the guy talk for five minutes about what a hopeless romantic he is and how strong the power of love is and how he wants a "traditional life," i realized there was no way i could be with that guy.  sorry, i'm just not a hopeless romantic.  i don't think as humans we can ever love perfectly, that's a God thing.  human love isn't perfect and relationships aren't always going to be romantic.  in fact, relationships are hard and sometimes they're going to suck.  sorry to burst your little bubble, jake.  don't worry, i still think he's super hot and wouldn't mind seeing him with his shirt off a little more this bachelor season. 

{dear jake, maybe if you could calm the eff down about love being "perfect," then we could be together.  i'll maybe even try to tone down my bitchiness.  okay, that's a lie, but i'll still love you long time.  just take off your shirt and i'll ogle you.  k, thanks.}

well, i have something called "work" that's calling my name in the form of emails and phone calls.  don't worry, i'll be back later today with a little edition of take me back tuesday.  you'll get to see me in all of my cute-sie glory.  get excited.

thanks for all the hugs and love yesterday.  it got me through a really shitty day.

DTR: part 2

well, my bestest bloggie friends, i am back in the office today and i'm hating it.  seriously.  it's not that i hate my job, it's just that i seriously hate waking up early.  plus, i didn't really have the best of weekends and ending an almost two year relationship tends to give you the sads.  anyways, enough of that... i think it's about time for part 2 of our little define the relationship (DTR) chat.  getting to know each other even better is a great way to start the first monday of the new year.  oh, no!! you say?  missed, DTR part 1?  don't worry, it can be found here.  if you want to know me better, you better go read part 1 first.  seriously.  it may clear some things up for you.  maybe not.  either way, i suggest you read it.  there's some pretty fascinating stuff in part 1.  it establishes the fact that i'm a freak very interesting.  and now on to part 2:

- i can't cook worth a damn, but i can bake some amazing banana bread.  i can also eat a whole loaf of it in one sitting.  i like to add either blueberries or blackberries.  oh, and just fyi, the blackberries turn the bread purple.

- i love to sleep, and i hate waking up for work in the morning.

- i sometimes have long conversations with my little meatloaf, bailey.  like thirty minute long conversations.  well, really it's just me talking to her, so i guess it's rather one-sided.  she just sits there looking at me and cocking her head to the side.  she's a really good listener.

- i hate being cold, and what sucks is that i am cold ALL.THE.TIME.  i couldn't live up north, for sure.  i don't know how you people do it.  you all deserve medals.

- i was never that girl who dreamed of getting married and planning my wedding since age six.  don't get me wrong, i definitely want to get married and have a family (good luck to my future husband and kids).  i just didn't start out at six years old planning it, like most of my friends did.  and while i love me some gorgeous dresses and big fancy rockin' bling, i think marriage is less about the ring (though i definitely i want a pretty rock, especially since i'll be wearing it for the rest of my life), less about the dress, and less about the actual wedding day - it's about a lifelong committment and partnership and it takes hard work.  lots of it.  i'll get engaged and married when the timing is right.

- i'm not the most laid back person in the world.

- the kiddos in my mom's preschool sunday school class seriously give me major self-esteem and always make me smile.  i teach with my mom in her sunday school class at least two sundays a month.  we make crafts, sing songs, read bible stories, etc.  the little girls are always climbing all over me and commenting on how pretty my shoes are; or how they love my pretty necklace; or how when they grow up they wish they could be tall and pretty like me.  (i hate to tell them the truth that i'm really actually kinda short.)  during special prayer time, they always say they're thankful that i'm their teacher.  these kids, with their little snotty noses, coughs, mismatched shoes and backwards pants (a lot of them like to "dress" themselves) are always so full of love and they give it freely.  don't get me wrong, they aren't all sweet.  there are some real little brats in the class, too; but they remind me so much of myself, it's hard not to like them, too.

- i love vampires, but you already knew that.

- i like the left side of my body better than the right.  i don't really know why, to be honest.  and i definitely have to be facing the camera with my better side when taking photos.  i'm kind of a picture whore.

- i miss playing collegiate sports so much.  (i think i said this is part 1, but it's worth repeating.)

- i am a control freak, and i can be a real bitch when i don't feel like i have control in a situation.  i'm pretty sure it's part of being obsessive compulsive about everything, too.  it's not a healthy attribute, and it's something i'm really making an effort to change because it unfortunately hurts those closest to me.

- my nose is pierced, but i don't wear the stud anymore so i guess it's kind of closed up by now. 

- i plan on reading through the entire bible again this year.  it's not too hard to keep up with, just a little bit everyday.  (if you're interested, i have an outline of daily readings; email me and i'll send you a copy.)

- everytime you guys comment, or everytime i get a new stalker, it makes my day!  seriously.

- and last but not least, someone thought i was deserving of an award.  this someone is not just anyone, this someone is my internet soulmate, jessalyn @ cape cod awesome.  she apparently thinks i'm sweet and deserve a sweet award.  i couldn't agree with her less, though i do LOVE this pretty award and am now craving a freaking cupcake with sprinkles.

as is customary, i'm pretty sure i'm supposed to pass this award along to ten other people who look like they could use a cupcake.  oh, and i also kind of love their blogs.

shandal @ my life in 3d
julie @ brown eyed belle

candice @ life according to candice (speaking of cupcakes, she has seriously made one of those big ass cupcakes.  check out her blog and ask her about it.)

christin @ a classy, southern bride
tia @ clever girl goes blog
megan @ in this wonderful life...
"clemson girl" @ our version of a fairy tale

annie @ chapters of our life
ks @ while we're waiting...
taylor @ jimmy choos and a baby too
nicole @ brown eyed girl and her beau

happy first monday of the new year everyone!  send me some lovin' today.  i really need it.

apparently i'm glamorous AND adorable - who would've thought?!

{what girl doesn't love a little frosting??}

first, a big thank you to rasha at and this is what she said for making me feel so G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S.  (name that song.)  i'm relatively new to her blog and have found that she has an awesome perspective on life, she's real, she's honest, she's gorgeous, and i downright love her blog and make it a daily must-read.  check her out, she's got a lot of good stuff to say.

now it's my turn to pass this on this award on to some ladies who i find to be nothing short of absolutely glamorous.  they stay classy and fun, no matter what they're going through and they all make me smile with their great attitudes.  go check them out.  now.

summer at "b is for brown": this lady's got a hopeful spirit and stays positive no matter what's she's going through.  i admire her strength and honesty.  her and her hubby also have a suuuuuper cute story.  you can check it out on her blog.

kristen at k. law: inspired: her blog is just that - fun and inspiring.  she's gorgeous and has a lot of good stuff to say - namely that her occupation is being ryan renyolds #1 stalker fan.  how can you NOT love that??

----

{i'm just so stinkin' cute!}

thank you, thank you, thank you to cathy at antsy pants for making me so gosh darn adorable!!  now that she's a real, live adult (a.k.a - 30 years old), she's got ants in her pants, can't sit still, and she's trying to determine what to do with her life while still enjoying the ambiguity of it all.  she's a great daily read for me and she should be for you, too! 

now to pass on the torch...

monique at a day in the life of a surferwife: she's just as sarcastic as i am, she fears raccoons just as much as i hate cockroaches, and she makes me laugh even when she's dying from something she caught from her kids.  oh, and she's a self-proclaimed control freak just like me so we're kind of kindred spirits in the regard.

ashley paige at i love you more than carrots:  just like me, she's a type-a perfectionist who loves to bake but hates to cook!  she's has this insanely adorable olde english sheepdog - he just got a new 'do that he's apparently not very happy with!

----

so glad it's freakin' friday.  the sun's out for the first time in over a week here in houston, so i had to put on my special ring to go out in the sun today.  shit, i just ruined my street cred ... i've been watching too much vampire diaries.

you never forget your first

dear friends (and by friends, i mean best friends... we are best friends, right?? the correct answer is "yes"),

today is a big day.  huge.  quite possibly the best day of my life.  i have been honored with my first award, and we all know you never forget your first anything.  (sidenote: my first kiss sucked by the way.  literally.  my face was sucked off.)  my first award does not suck, it's AWESOME and i have cape cod a-team to thank for it.  cape cod a-team is made up of two badass chicks, jessalyn and ellen.  read them, follow them, stalk them, love them.  they're awesome.  little did jessalyn and i know, we both spent our whole lives in private school and were taught by nuns in high school.  i knew i loved her, but now we're seriously meant to be.  her boyfriend doesn't know it yet, but they're getting married in 2011, and i'm gonna be there.  blogger.com is basically like match.com for best friends.

so let's get this show going because i'm wearing the greatest red carpet gown at work right now.  an old prom dress in the middle of winter will definitely give you some weird looks at the office.  whatevs, i'm serious shit now.  i have an award.  without further ado, i hereby pass this award on to the following of my favorite daily digests:

life on a hanger: she's insanely funny, and there is not an article of her clothing that does not have an insane story to tell.  i'm not kidding.  i've known her in real life since we were eleven, and here we are a decade plus later and she's still making me pee my pants laughing.  i love her in real life and in bloggie life and you should too.

made you blush: now this is one hot mama.  seriously, the chick's beautiful and her posts always brighten my day.  plus, pretty people are fun to look at.  she loves all things pretty, all things girly, and all things sweet.  stalk follow her and say pretty things to her otherwise she will tell you to "get the fruit off her blog" - i'm serious, it says it.  check it out.

...i'm not quite done yet.  a shout out to my favorite daily stalks wouldn't be complete without shrieking at two of my very faves - MODG and ALME.  if for some strange reason, you don't know them, get to know them.  they both have cult-like followings, and i know ALME in real life.  an outing with her never disappoints.  read them.  now.  unless, of course you're offended easily.  they won't apologize.

(watch out blogger.com... now that i have an award, there's no stopping me.)