with summertime comes animals and bugs that suck my blood. and no, i am not talking about the cullens or salvatore brothers.

the little critters and animals in and around my neighborhood are starting to get to me.  seriously, i know how the actors in avatar must have felt because i'm pretty sure i live in pandora.  in the forest.  with lots of scary, teeth-baring animals that like to come out and play at night.

in addition to small rodents, i am also seriously hating things that crawl and/or fly.  with summertime (i.e. 100-plus degree temperatures and 110% humidity) now upon us, texas-sized, bloodsucking mosquitoes are out in full force.  i know you guys live all over the country and globe, and you too have your fair share of indigenous creepy crawlies, but i guarantee you, the mosquitoes i have recently seen flying around my home (and sometimes even into.my.freaking.house.) are seriously HUGE.  like the size of small birds.

and i feel like every time i go into or out of my house, at least one mosquito flies in and i can't find the little bloodsucker.  so when i wake up in the morning, i've been waking up with a new bite!!  i can't use raid or bug spray because it sends me into a coughing/asthma/throat attack, so instead  think i may need to invest in a mosquito net to ward off that one or two pesky needle-flying creature.

here's the thing, i HATE mosquitoes.  like really really hate them.  so i'm going to put a sign over my front door that goes something like this:

that'll keep 'em away, i just know it.  as for the little rodents and critters, i'll come up with something and get back to you.

news you can use #19: acrophobia, bulls in texas, spongebob apparently can save your life, and a giveaway

have you missed news you can use! ??  don't answer that.  or do answer that and just lie to me and say you have because i'm pretty sure it's missed you guys.

man conquers fear of heights by living on roof.  a vermont businessman hoping to raise awareness about child abuse spent four days living on the roof of his business.  he ended up raising about $4,000.  not too shabby.  though, i must say - i'm pretty darn acrophobic and camping out on the roof of something sounds fun to me.  and if his office building was only a few stories high, i'm not impressed.  what would have been more impressive is if he would have slept face down on this:

this isn't my cup of tea.

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arlington, tx police shoot bull on loose on interstate.  for you non-texans out there, arlington is a suburb city outside of dallas.  (surely you've heard of the dallas cowboys??)  the bull was apparently jumping back and forth from the eastbound to the westbound lanes.  why is this so stereotypically texas??

"home, home on the range, where the deer and the antelope play..."

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preteen: "spongebob taught me how to save a life."  okay, so i don't know whether to be scared for the future of our youth, or totally impressed with spongebob in all his squarepants glory.  according to the article, "miriam and her best friend, allyson, were in music class when allyson began choking on her gum.  allyson turned red and started kicking her legs.  miriam says she remembered an episode from the nickelodeon animated series in which squidward gets a clarinet lodged in his throat and spongebob does the heimlich maneuver.  she tried it on allyson.  the gum flew out, and allyson caught her breath."  weird?  cool?  quasi likes spongebob, so i hope he saw this episode.

he always looks a little strung out to me, no?

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giveaway.  i will probably kick myself for doing this, but a suburban housewife-in-training is having an amazing diamond earring giveaway, compliments of kohl's.  yep, the same kohl's that now has LC's clothing line.  even if you don't like diamonds (ha!), head over to H.I.T.'s blog and congratulate her on her precious new baby girl!

these are really ugly.  you don't want them.  don't enter.  plus, you know i really deserve them.

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news you can use #11: the houston rodeo, "dead" people, ironman, don't marry your first cousin, and sad news

i've got a couple new readers since last week, so let me give you newbies a little introduction of what thursdays look like around these parts.  some of you don't have time to or choose not to keep yourself in the know about important events.  no need to fear, in each edition of news you can use! i supply you with only the very best weekly news.  this news includes - but is not limited to - such important things as: world news, hollywood news, movie news, reality tv news, interesting and weird happenings news, things i happen to find important or freakishly cool news, and my news (aka - what's going on in my life news). i know. all really exciting shit.  so sit back, grab a cup of coffee or a glass of champagne and know you are will be more informed after reading this.

the houston livestock show and rodeo.  that's right, it's that time of year again in houston - rodeo time!  if you don't have a clue what a BIG EFFING DEAL the rodeo is in h-town, do your research.   i even gave you the link.  it's big.  the rodeo cookoff starts TONIGHT and one of the companies i lobby for has a tent, so you know i'll be there in my texas best attire.  i may even bust out the fringe shirt.  and i may even take pictures.  for you.  in the meantime, here's something to get you non-texans excited out there.  i know my canadian, aussie, and new zealand lovers will love this:

{the goal is to ride for 8 seconds.  good luck.  i wouldn't get on in the first place.  black beauty there obviously isn't having any of it.}

{how can you not love taylor??  we always have a pretty decent concert lineup.}

{you have to ride the ferris wheel at least once.}

{one of the rodeo tents.  this is where the crazy shiz goes down.}

'dead' colombian woman moves arm at funeral home.  when i was little i was seriously terrified of being buried alive.  my grandmother used to tell me horror stories growing up of people being buried alive in the 1800s and early 1900s because they were presumed to be dead.  i figured by 2010 we would have gotten this whole "medical death confirmation" thing down.  apparently not.  you can read about it here.

bill clinton is more like ironman than we thought.  per the onion, one of my favorite news sources in the world, former president bill clinton has had a unibeam installed in his chest.  i'm not sure what this mean for hilary.

banning marriage against 1st cousins.  a maryland lawmaker wants to ban marriage among 1st cousins saying people should stop playing "genetic roulette" with their offspring.  my response to this: umm, no shit.  there's not already a law in place for this??!?  oh, and just an fyi - there are 24 states in the united states that prohibit marriage between first cousins.

in other sad, but it-needed-to-happen news... mine and my boss' admin assistant was let go yesterday.  it's a long story and i hope only the best for her, but it was unfortunately one of those things that just really wasn't working out and is definitely for the best for all involved.  that being said, it means lots o' extra work for yours truly and my boss until we can get someone.  my point in telling you all is because i'll now be even busier than ever, which leaves less time for the important things like commenting on your blogs.  i'll do my darndest, though and i promise to cry about how much i miss you.

take me back tuesday: the hot pink fringe shirt is BACK!

boy have i got a take me back tuesday for you all today!!  because so many of you raved about how much you loved last week's hot pink, rhinestone-studded, fringe shirt, i brought it back.  that's right.  you're in luck.  and this time, folks, it wasn't even "go texan day" -- it was my 7th birthday party at a badass roller rink.  remember those??  all my friends thought i was so cool wearing my brand spankin' new roller blades winning all the races.  seriously, i was a lightening bolt on the 'blades. 

as you can see, my smile resembles that of a jack-o-lantern.  but do i not smile?  do i embarrassingly attempt to hide my awful teeth?  no, i put them on display for all to see.  i apparently thought i looked goooood.  and as you can see from the photos, my smartass attitude problem clearly started early.  when my mom asks, "meredith, how'd you get to be like this?"  i point at her and then show her old pictures with my 'tude shining through.  "shoulda put a stop to it sooner, momma!"

take me back tuesday: bikinis, skorts, and denim

it's tuesday which means another tuesday that you get to stalk old photos of me.  i know.  you're excited.  i get it.  if you're not, just lie to me and pretend like you look forward to tuesdays at flash.

{would ya take a look at those muscles??  i mean seriously, i was lookin' something fierce!  okay, okay, you're right - i got nothing.  in case you're not sure, i'm the one of the right.  the girl.  in the bikini looking thing.  the little scrawny kid in the yellow trunks is my cousin.  we are the same age, but i beat him at everything.  i think my competitive-ness started right when i came out of my mother's pikachu.  oh, and this pic is from either 1st or 2nd grade.  we were at the pool.  obvi.}

{well, i am from texas, you know.  regardless, i'm still not sure why i wore this shit.  i seriously hope it was "go texan" day, and i wasn't just wearing this for fun.  (we have those here in texas - "go texan day".  a whole day dedicated to all thing texas.  really.  i'm as serious as a freaking heart attack.)  and yes, that skort looking thing does have a slit in the front.  this is also from 1st or 2nd grade.}

{this was from 4th grade.  i think.  i don't know if you've seen, but denim like this is back.  i keep seeing it in all those emails the marketing whores at banana republic and j.crew keep emailing me.  i keep trying to tell you people i don't follow trends, i set them.  hence, the denim i'm rocking from the 90s.}

the lonestar state

after watching my favorite fat people on the biggest loser last night (i'm obsessed with this show, for reals), i realized that the other 49 states in the union have been given yet another great impression of my state based on a couple from a small town in texas.  i love my state, i do.  and i guess you could say i'm proud to be a texan.  we do have amazing football.  and i love when the rodeo comes to houston.  and we do have the greatest poker game ever - texas hold 'em, duh.  but while i love my state, there are some stereotypes i wish would go away and i wish certain texans would quit perpetuating such stereotypes.

not everyone from texas likes country music.  i, for one, am not entirely crazy about country music.  and i'm not a cowgirl, though i do own a few pairs of sexy cowgirl boots.  i'm not into cowboys and i don't ride a horse to work.  i was seriously asked this question a couple of years ago when i was in D.C. at the capitol.  i looked at the guy (most likely a legislative aide or intern) and said, oh, you've got to be effing kidding me. no, i don't ride horses, but i do know how to shoot a shotgun.  actually that's a lie.  i mean the guy did ask me that, and i did answer that exact way.  i'm lying about shooting a shotgun.  i think i would break my shoulder.   plus, i can't kill an animal.  i can hardly fish.  i'm a first-born texan.  my dad's not even american, and my mom is american but she wasn't born in the states.  i don't talk with a particularly southern or texas accent.  in fact, most texans i know don't have accents. 

oh, and just so we don't go perpetuating any more stereotypes, i'll leave you all with these rare little gems of me doing texas-y things...

{i'm petting a horse.  hesitantly.  in a field. at one of my real life bestie's (sara) parents' house in ft. worth, tx.}

{gotta love cowboy boots}

{at the houston rodeo with huge texans football boots.}

{these pretty boots were made for walkin'...}

{me with police horses midnight and buttercup.  i was at a jimmy buffet concert because i couldn't turn down free tickets.  by the looks of the giant smile on my face, it was apparently 5 o'clock somewhere.  oh, and rockin' an officer's hat, of course.}

lobbyist by day. america's next top wreath maker by night.

so it snowed in houston, texas on friday.  honest to goodness snow.  like white and fluffy sticking on the ground and on the cars kind of snow.  now everyone freak out and go buck wild because i guarantee most houstonians did.

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okay, now that we've gotten that out of our system, on with the show.  my show that is.  let me first tell you how i spent the first half of my day on friday, so you can feel really sorry for me because a little sympathy always makes everyone feel better.  i'll give you a hint, i wasn't out enjoying the snow.  i spent four hours of my life working at an election poll in the freezing, rainy, sleety, icy, snowy precipitation (it wasn't full fledge snowing at this point, more like an obnoxious tease of snow).  needless to say, i believe my fingers and toes were severely frost bitten, the uggs i thought were water proof were not so my wool socks were soaked, my clothes were drenched and sticking to me, and my nose wouldn't stop running.  mmmm.  truth be told, i actually sat in my car for most of those four hours, but whatever, that's besides the point.  once i was wet, i couldn't get dry so i was miserable.

now to the topic of my post - wreath making.  boring much?  wrong!  not boring if you're america's next top wreath maker like i discovered i was thursday night!  let me tell you how it all went down: i had a couple meetings thursday afternoon and then later that evening i had to attend some campaign events.  (you'll find that i lead an ever exciting life during election season.)  bailey's mimi was puppysitting her for me, so i took advantage of my free time in between meeting and events to run some errands.  i have a gorgeous wreath that my mom got me last year that i put on my front door, and i was wanting one for my living room coffee table as well.  i stopped by michael's where christmas wreaths and most things christmas-ish were 50% off.  woo hoo on pre-season sales!!  retailers are finally getting smart.  anyways, i find a great plain wreath that i would be able to decorate adding my own style and touches.  i went through michael's aisle by aisle choosing items that would match my designated theme.  i wanted to roughly put it together to see what it would look like.  so there i was in the middle of michael's busting out the craft wire cutters and making my masterpiece.  after a few minutes a couple of people began gathering around my cart.  after 15 minutes there were ten spectators.  after i finished i looked up to see women ooooing and ahhhhing over my wreath and heard murmers of them saying what a masterful wreathmaker i was!!

everything's bigger in texas

so i'm back from a two-day conference trip i had in dallas, home of the dallas cowboy cheerleaders and some of the biggest texas cowboys (not the football team) who give our state the reputation it has.  the conference was held at this huge conference center and resort in one of the suburbs just outside of dallas' city limits.  i had never been and this place was crazy:

it was seriously it's own amish-like compound that you never had to leave; the only difference was it had electricity and lots of alcohol.  it is the alcatraz of hotels, no joke.  it has over 1,700 rooms, three large restaurants, a bar, three smaller cafes, three gyms, jogging trails, a replication of the alamo in the middle of the freakin' place, a huge day spa and salon, about ten clothing, jewelry, and trinket shops, AND a night club... ridiculous, i know.  in case you haven't heard, that's how we do it in texas - BIG.  oh, and during christmas, they apparantly have ice skating rinks and shows.  you could survive on the compound and never have to leave, which is the idea i guess.

anyways, the conference goes through saturday night, but my boss and i just had to attend some committee meetings.  even though dallas is only a four hour drive from houston, we flew.  the flights to and from each city are 45 minutes to an hour tops.  last night, our flight from dallas into torrential storm houston was over two hours and full of nauseating turbulence as we flew all over the state of texas to get around the storm cell.  always comforting when your pilot comes on after you've taken off to tell you: umm, got some bad news, folks.  we're in for one helluva ride this evening.  it's too dangerous to take a direct route to houston, and air traffic control isn't even allowing it so we're being diverted which will double our flight time.  the fasten seatbelt sign will stay on the duration of the flight.  flight attendants will need to stay seated, as well.  you know it's gonna be good when they tell the flight attendants to buckle up, too.  needless to say, i already hate flying after a terrible experience on a flight home from switzerland over the atlantic ocean.  i was ready to be on the ground and so was the rest of the plane as we erupted into cheers when we finally landed.  glad to be home wearing my rainboots at the office again!  happy friday!